


Dunkirk (Larry Stylinson AU)

by unoriqinal



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, larrystylinson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-23 00:06:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 36
Words: 52,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7458880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unoriqinal/pseuds/unoriqinal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Tell me something I can hold on to forever and never let go." He whispered to me.<br/>"Let go." I whispered, pressing my lips against his.</p><p>- </p><p>"Now you know me, for your eyes only."</p><p>-<br/>The readers;<br/>➵ "MY HEART IS ACHING"<br/>➵ "OH MY GOD SO BEAUTIFUL PLEASE CONTINUE I LOVE THIS BOOK OH MY GOD"<br/>➵ "THIS REALLY MADE MY SUNDAY MORNING THANK YOU ILY"<br/>➵ "#wonderful"<br/>➵ "why does this not have 1m reads?!"<br/>➵ "you deserve so many more reads and votes"<br/>➵ "like always, LOVE THIS!"</p><p>-</p><p>Trigger warnings:<br/>Violence<br/>Disorders; anxiety, stress, etc<br/>Sexual content</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Goodbyes (1)

"Don't forget to brush your teeth  
everyday. Oh and I made sure I packed you an extra toothbrush too." My mum, Anne, said fixing the collar on my shirt as we waited for Train 43 to arrive to the station. 

"Okay, okay mum." I said smiling a bit and pulling her hands down from my neck. She always wanted to make sure I looked my best, even now as I'm waiting to leave for the French coast.

"I just can't believe you're all grown up. Look at you, heading off to war." She sighed, "I still can't believe you're doing this. You can always back out, come home and just live with me, I don't see why you couldn't have just gotten a job down at the market." 

I shook my head. "I can't mum, it's too late. I've already mailed my papers back, besides you know this is what I've been wanting to do." I told her. "After a few months I'll be granted to come on leave, and I'll be able to see you and Gemma." I smiled at her. 

"Train 43 will be here in two minutes." I heard somebody say from the ticket booth.

My mom looked at me with sad eyes, "Oh Harry, I'm going to miss you so much. You better stay safe, don't get into any trouble." She said, cupping my cheeks and looking at me straight in the eyes. Her eyes were turning glossy. This is the last time I'll see her before I come home for a week in a few months time. 

"I will, I love you mum. Take care of Gemma for me, and yourself." I said, wrapping my arms around her and bringing her in for a hug. I hear the train coming from a distance and I know our time is dwindling down. I feel mum hold me tight, feeling like she'll never let go.

"Please promise you'll write to us to let us know you're safe." She says into my neck. "I will, I promise. I have to go mum, but I'll write you every single day. I love you." I tell her, pulling away.

She wipes the corners of her eyes and nods, "I love you too, Harry." She smiles. "You better get going, you have some ass to kick." She said laughing. I chuckled, picking up the two luggages I had packed. 

"Bye mum" I say. She says her goodbye back and I head towards the train entrance. I hand the man my bus ticket and he hole punches it, nodding at me. 

On the train, there are only a minimum amount of seats left. I pass by someone, with short brown hair combed back like mine and these blue eyes. He smiles faintly at me as do I back to him. I make my way through the aisle and finally settle for a seat in row 32. I put my luggage up over head and sit in the seat next to the window. Pulling down the window, I poke my head out, waving at my mum.

She waves at me, tears in her eyes. "I love you, stay safe!" She yells to me as the train descends off. I sit back down, sighing. I take out a small picture of the three of us. Me, Gemma, and mum. I frown, feeling tears coming to my eyes. I'm going to miss them so much. 

I said my goodbyes to Gemma last night. She was crying, she was so upset. She doesn't want me going off to war to risk my life. Gemma was upset when I had told her, but she understands the reasons behind me wanting to do this. 

"May I sit here?" I heard a voice say to me, I look over to see the same man from just minutes ago standing there. "I wouldn't usually be asking this but the guy who was sitting next to me really just stunk" He bluntly said, chuckling a bit. I laughed, nodding. "Yes sure, make yourself comfy." I said, adjusting myself up right. He was pretty cute. He had a small frame, these big blue eyes and really nice teeth. This man, whom I don't know the name of, was wearing a button up shirt and brown pants with suspenders connecting to them. 

"I'm Louis." He said, sitting down and holding out his hand for me to shake. "Harry." I smiled at him, shaking his hand. "I really don't know anyone here." Louis says sighing.

"Well you know me, don't you?" I said looking over at him, smiling. He nodded, smiling. "Yes, I guess I do. I was just nervous that I was gonna be lonely the whole time."

"I think a lot of us don't know each other, so you have nothing to worry about." I assure him. "So where are you coming from?" I ask Louis. "Doncaster." He says, smiling proudly. "And you?" "Holmes Chapel, Cheshire." I say. 

"Really?" He beams. "I've been up there quite a few times, nice area." He tells me. "Was that your girlfriend you were hugging back there?" Louis asks, curious.

Laughing, I shake my head. "No, no. That was my mum." I say laughing. Louis turns red, laughing himself. "Wow, I would have bet that wasn't your mum. But of course I didn't pay attention much, only seen the back side of her head." Louis tells me. 

This is how it goes for the next few hours, talking about our lives and where we came from. I learned that Louis lived on his own, having no one. He said they kicked him out a few years back, but he didn't tell me why. I could tell that it still upsets him. He told me he often writes to his mum, hoping to someday get a letter back in the mail. He isn't even sure if they still live at his old home.

I also learned that Louis is twenty four, two years older than me. Louis was born on Christmas Eve, but says he doesn't celebrate it since he has no one to celebrate with. I feel bad for him, honestly. He's really nice and funny, I don't see how anyone could not like him, or just kick him out like that.

Before long, the train comes to a holt. I look outside my window, to see that we have arrived at the train station on the French coast. 

"This is it." Louis says, looking past my head out the window as well.

"Yes, this is it." I say, not knowing of the things that would happen on this long journey.


	2. We'll Be Okay (2)

Grabbing our luggage, Louis and I made our way off the train and into the train station. There were people scurrying all around, we knew that we would be stationed at an Army Camp after we were done with our training.

We followed everyone outside the station where there were a line of cars waiting to take us to the camp. One by one, we piled into each, Louis staying by my side the whole time. The place was packed with people pushing and shoving. 

We started training tomorrow morning, for now we were to settle into our bunks and get our things unpacked for the next few weeks of training until we go out to the Army Camps.

Me and a few others, including Louis, piled into one of the cars. We then descended off to base camp. The talk during the ride up was minimum, just small talk. At one point, I could feel Louis' eyes on me but I ignored it. The ride up took about an hour. 

When we arrived, there were three huge buildings, which I assumed is where we would be staying for the time being. We all loaded out of the car where the drill instructor was standing.

"My name is George Adams. You will call me by my last name and last name only. For the next few months you will be here for training." He started. "Here you will be taught the basic and primary training. To achieve this, you will be drilled physically, technically, and psychologically." He was now walking back and forth in front of all of us. "After you have finished your basic training, some of you will undergo advanced training in the specialities that you so desire. Do I make myself clear?" He ordered. "Yes Sir." Everyone said.

"You will now be shown to your bunks, this way!" Our drill instructor then showed us into the building. The building was nothing fancy, and you could tel that it was kind of old. 

"I call top bunk." Louis whispered in my ear as we followed everyone else. I smiled, "Whatever you want, Louis." I was kind of happy he even thought of sharing a bunk with me, and I wasn't quite sure why. Maybe it's just nice to know that I have a friend here. 

When we got to our bunks, Louis ran to the one against the wall, climbing to the top, smiling proudly and flopping down onto the bed with his luggage thrown off to the side. "Wow I am so exhausted." Louis yawns. "You better get used to it, Lou, you're gonna be tired for a long, time."

Louis sat up, smiling. "Lou?" He questioned with his eyebrow raised up. I blushed, realizing what I just said while setting my luggage on top of the bottom bunk. "Uh, sorry about that." I laughed it off, scratching the back of my neck. "No it's fine, really." Louis said. "Haz." Louis then said to me. I looked at him questionably. "Haz?"

"Yes! That's your new nickname. Look at us, already becoming close friends." Louis beamed. I smiled at him, glad that I had a friend. 

I didn't really have much friends back home, mostly because of how I thought of myself as gay. My mom and sister accepted it, but usually most people were against that, saying that it is against God. I've even been told that I was going to hell for being gay. I did have one close friend though, her name was Samantha. She was my age, and knew of my orientation too. She accepted me for who I was and I was thankful for that, I will miss her dearly until I come home.

My stomach then dropped, I couldn't tell Louis I was gay. It's not like he would find out, but I feel like if we're gonna have a close friendship then I should be truthful to him, but it's always hard for me to come out to people. I don't want to lose Louis as friend. I'm scared he would judge me and think I'm disgusting or something. 

"What're you thinking about?" Louis asked , climbing off his top bunk and tilting is head at me. "Nothing." I reassured him, smiling.

We then heard someone yell through the room. "I will show you to the place where you will have all your meals for the next month. Follow me." A man with a tall frame and broad shoulders in a suit said. Everyone left their stuff and followed him into this big room with tables and chairs sat up. To the side was where you probably went to go and get your food I suppose. 

"You will have three meals a day. Breakfast, lunch and your dinner. You will be up at six am sharp each morning and be reported to this area by 7 am dressed and ready for the day. After breakfast, you will report to your training. Lunch is then at 12 pm, where you will report back here. And dinner will be at 6 pm, where you will wash up and come here to eat your dinner and go back to your bunks afterwards." The man said. 

I heard Louis groan beside me. "Really? 6 am?" Louis whispered to me, a bit too loud. 

"Is there something you would like to say?" The man said towards Louis. Louis gulped, shaking his head. "No Sir." 

"Alright then. Since it is getting late, you all may report to dinner and then go back to your bunks. Make sure to get well rested for we have a big day tomorrow." And with that he left.

Everyone lined up to get their food. Louis followed me to the line, staying close behind me. "Food doesn't look too appetizing." I say, looking at someone who passed by with God knows what on their tray. 

We got our trays and was served our dinner, which consisted of rolls, chicken noodle soup and some vegetables. We found a table with two other guys who were fairly nice. I learned that their names were Nicholas and Jayden. The food wasn't half bad to say the least. After we were all finished, we threw out stuff in the trash and headed back to our bunks.

"I'm exhausted." Louis said for the second find tonight. "I am too, it's been a tough day." I said, thinking back to when I last seen my mum. I hope I don't get too home sick.

Not everyone was back yet when we arrived. The clock on the wall said 8 pm. It wasn't even that late and I was so tired. 

Louis rummaged through his suitcase, getting out his night wear. He then stripped right in front of everyone, but I guess that it didn't really matter seeing that other people were doing the same.

I will admit Louis has a nice body. I look away quickly though, preoccupying myself by getting my nightwear out. I didn't want Louis to catch me staring at him half naked, I would be mortified. 

I undressed myself. By now Louis was already dressed and getting into bed. I peeled off my long sleeve button up shirt and took of my pants. I was a bit embarrassed. I have never gotten undressed in front of so many people before.

I laid down on the bottom bunk, sighing. I missed home, I missed telling mum goodnight and giving her a kiss on the cheek. I wonder what she's doing now, and Gemma too. 

"Goodnight, Haz." I heard Louis say, breaking me out of my thoughts. I smiled to myself, liking the nickname he had given me. "Goodnight, Lou."

After a few moments Louis says, "Do you think we'll be okay?"

I thought about it for a moment. "I think we'll be okay." I assured him, hoping that I was not  
lying to him, or to myself.


	3. Training

I jolted awake, hearing the alarm that signals everyone that it's time to wake up. I rubbed my eyes, yawning and sitting up. I was still tired, but hopefully breakfast would help me wake up. 

I sat up, running my fingers through my hair. I didn't hear Louis up yet. I got up to see he was still laying in the bunk, face smashed against his pillow with his covers up around his neck. He looked peaceful. I'm surprised he didn't wake up from the alarm. Louis looked cute when he slept. 

I shook my head, I need to get away from these thoughts. I shouldn't be thinking these things at a time like this. I reached up, shaking Louis a bit. "It's time to wake up." I said to him softly. I heard him groan and I chuckled. "I don't want to." He complained, rolling over to face me. His eyes were sleepy, and his voice was raspier than what it had been last night.

Going through my suitcase and picking out today's outfit that everyone was required to wear, just a simple training outfit that was a shade of beige, I sighed saying "You have to, sorry Lou." I told him, smiling a bit at the nickname I had gave him. He smiled a bit and sat up, stretching and yawning. "I don't think I'm prepared for today." He pouted, laughing and jumping off the top bunk. 

I just laughed, changing into my training outfit. As I was taking off my shirt, I could feel eyes on me, but when I looked back at Louis he seemed to be looking down at his suitcase looking for his. 

Everyone was required to pick up their outfits the week before training camp. Before we were to send in measurements on the sizes that we all needed.

After me and Louis was changed we headed to go get breakfast. For breakfast we both had orange juice, a bowl of fruit and some type of scrambled eggs. 

Our drill sergeant told us to all meet outside in the courtyard in ten minutes.

The table was quiet this morning, it was just me and Louis. There wasn't much talk, which I believe is because of how tired we both were.

After breakfast all of us made our way outside where the training would be held. We all gathered around our drill instructor. "Today you will learn teamwork, citizenship, and how to survive out there in the fields and trenches."

"Training will not be taken lightly. You will do everything I say, and you will continue doing these activities until you all get them perfectly done right." He says.

Louis and I stood close together as he counted off different groups. The Army has three categories of soldiers. There were Enlisted Soldiers, Warrant Officers and Commissioned Officers. Louis and I had signed up to be in the Enlisted Soldiers. Once all three groups were together we headed off different ways. We first came upon a muddy area. Kind of confused, we gathered around our teacher for this course.

"I am Sir Saunders and I will be your trainer for this course." The man says, walking back and forth in front of us. "Your first course is building your muscles up. When you're out there, there may be circumstances where you will be in trenches with at least twenty pound book bags on your back. You must learn how to survive, or you will not make it. Do I make myself clear?" Sir Saunders says, stopping at a holt in front of us all and looking at all of us sharply.

Louis was standing really close to me, I could feel his hand brush against mine ever so slightly. I ignored the strange feeling I had in the pit in my stomach, trying to focus on what Sir Saunders was saying. 

After he was done talking, we were told to put on the uniform we would be wearing during the war, along with a huge book bag for all of us to wear. 

With Louis next to me, we all got into three single filed lines and got into the muddy area. We were supposed to learn how to survive in the harsh circumstances he said. Marching through the mud, we were told to fall on the front parts of our body and get up as fast as we can.

Not all of us got it perfectly at first, but after many, many tries we all eventually caught on.

That is how the remainder of the day went. After lunch, we continued with our training doing different obstacles. We would be learning how to use proper machinery like machine guns and rifles. Our training would also include learning how to climb in and out of trenches. We also did things like running, push ups, sit ups, and lots of jumping jacks to try and build up our muscle. 

By the end of the day, we were all exhausted and sore. It was probably just about seven o'clock when we got back to our bunks. I remembered that I needed to write to mum, for I had promised her that I would write her every  single day.

We went to the shower room with our towels hanging on our hips and our clothes and soap in hand. There was not much privacy in the shower rooms, each shower head was divided up by white shower curtains.  The water that was used was barely warm, but it was better than nothing at all. 

I had to say, Louis looked really good right now with his towel hanging loosely on his hips. You could tell he was exhausted. We got into the showers, Louis next to mine. It made my stomach churn a bit thinking about Louis being naked just a few feet away from me. 

Even though the water was cold, it still felt good against my tense muscles. 

After we were all washed up and dressed we headed back to our bunks to get ready for the night. I needed to write to my mum before I went to bed.

I got out my fountain pen, journal and envelopes and started writing.

Dear mum,  
Today was our first day of training. It was an exhausting day. Yesterday on the train I met someone though. His name is Louis. He's really nice to me, mum. But he doesn't know about me yet. I hope you're doing well, Gemma too. We're held up in Dunkirque, France for the next few months until our training is over. The food isn't half bad, and the people here are nice as well. But I'm doing okay, I hope you get this soon. 

All the love, H.

I tore the page out of my journal neatly, folding it and sliding it into the envelope. I signed the envelope, putting on a return address and my mum's address. Licking the envelope shut, I put it on top of my luggage so I wouldn't forget to send it in tomorrow. 

I looked over to see Louis standing there with a painful look on his face. "What's wrong, Lou?" I asked him, standing up. It was now that I noticed I was a couple inches taller than him, maybe two at the most.

He snapped out of it and looked at me. By now everyone was mostly in bed. "I'm just exhausted, and sore." Louis said, smiling faintly. 

"Here, turn around." He did as I told him to do. I placed my hands on his shoulders, lightly rubbing them. "How does that feel?" I said, softly, my lips just a foot away from his neck. 

Louis had his eyes closed, his neck craned back a little bit. He didn't say anything, he just let me continue rubbing his shoulders. After a few minutes he yawned. "Why don't you rest, Lou. You'll feel better in the morning." I told him. It was dark in the bunks and the moonlight coming from the windows was the only light I had to actually see him. I could tell that he nodded though, and he got up on the top bunk. I lied down on mine, pulling the covers up around me. 

"Goodnight, Lou." I whispered up to him. The only reply back I got was the faint breathing and snores coming from him.


	4. Thanksgiving

It's been a month since I have arrived at the training camp. The other day we found out that we were gonna be here for at least two months since we are behind on our training and need more. We would have to be out there by May 26th. Today is November 24th. 

Today is Thanksgiving. We have all gotten the day off and we heard there will be a special thanksgiving dinner prepared for us today.  
We have been working our asses off for the past week, so it's nice to finally have a day off.

The past month has been pretty good besides the exhausting training. Me and Lou are always together all the time. He's become my best friend. We have told everything to each other. I haven't told him that I'm gay though. I'm scared to death that if I do Louis will no longer see me the same way again. Last week I almost accidentally blew my secret though.

"Do you have a special girl at home?" Louis asked me, sitting down next to me on the grass outside.

I shook my head, smiling a bit. "No, not really. I'm not really the lady's type." I gave him an excuse, even though it was the other way around. The lady's weren't my type. Of course I've had a couple girlfriends before but it was nothing special.

"What about you?" I asked him. He shook his head, looking down pulling at the grass. "No, I don't have anyone at home, remember?" Lou says. 

I felt bad for him. Lou is an amazing guy. I actually think I have feelings for him. It would never work though. He would never be into guys. These last few weeks spending almost every minute with him has really made this experience easier.

"Yeah, I felt the same way when my ex boyfriend J-"   
"Boyfriend?" Louis asked, looking at me.  
Shit shit shit. I'm so stupid. My heart sank. I had totally gotten lost in the conversation that I forgot about my secret and how Louis doesn't know.

"Did I say boyfriend? I meant girlfriend." I said, laughing it off a bit as Louis did the same.

I shook my head, trying to forget about that. That would have been horrible if he would have found out.

"Happy Thanksgiving!" Louis said to me wrapping his arms around me and pulling me down on the bed. I smiled, laughing as he did so.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Lou." I smiled at him. "What are we gonna do today?" He asked me, sitting up on my lower bunk. 

Today we were allowed to do whatever we wanted to, within reason, to celebrate thanksgiving. 

I had wrote my mom every single day for the past month. I've gotten numerous letters back from her. I keep them all safe in my suitcase.

I thought about it for a moment. "I know of this river we could go to. It's really nice, I seen it during training in the wood a couple weeks ago. It could be peaceful, just to forget about the circumstances for a little bit." I told Louis.

Louis smiled brightly, nodding is head. "I'm ready whenever you are." He beamed. I looked at the clock on the wall to see it was already past noon. 

We stood up and left the bunks without being questioned. We had made a few other friends here, but for the most part everyone hung out with who they wanted to. 

"It's so nice out here." Louis said, walking next to me as we descended down a trail that would lead to the river.

"It really is." I agreed. "I haven't felt this much at peace for a long time." I added. Louis nodded. 

"Do you miss home?" I asked him. He shrugged. "There really isn't anything to miss. I do miss my cat though." He pouted 

"I didn't know you had a cat." I chuckled. He nodded, "His name is Spot." He smiled. That was adorable, he is adorable.

"I wonder how he is now." He wondered. "There's no one at home to take care of him, but I told him I'd come back. I was almost tempted to just stuff him in my luggage and sneak him in here." Louis said sadly. I laughed a bit.

"What about you?" Louis then asked. "Do you miss home? I know you have family back at home." 

I nodded, looking down at the ground and kicking a few pebbles with my foot. "I miss my mum and sister to death. I crave to hear their voices every single day. But for Christmas I'll be able to come home to them." I was very excited to get to see them again.

Louis sighed, looking down. "I'm gonna miss you when you leave."

I thought about it for a moment. "What if you came with me?" I asked. He looked at me, shocked that I would offer such a thing. "Oh no, Harry. I couldn't do that. I don't know them and they're your family and I wouldn't fit in and-" I stopped him. "I want you to come. At least think about it?" I asked hopefully. He just nodded. "I'd hate for you to spend your Christmas alone." I told him. He smiled gratefully.

"I appreciate everything you do, Harry." Louis told me. I smiled. I could see the river through the trees by now. "Look!" Louis said, running through the trees. I chased after him, laughing. 

We stopped in front of the river. The river was crystal clear. There were fields of flowers surrounding it.

"It's gorgeous." Louis beamed, taking in the surroundings. I looked over at him, "I know." Agreeing with him, but I do not believe we were talking about the same thing.

Next thing I knew Louis was taking off his clothes. "What're you doing?" I asked him trying not to stare at him. "Well I didn't come here just to stand and look at a body of water." Louis stated matter of factly, running into the river. I laughed at him, taking off my clothes besides my boxers.

I ran in after him, laughing hysterically. Louis splashed me, a big smile on his face. It made me happy that Louis was happy. 

"Oh no you don't." I splashed him back. By now I hadn't realized how close we were to each other. The water came up to about my shoulders, but for Louis it came up to about his neck.

We stood there for a few moments, just looking at each other.

"What are you thankful for?" I asked Louis, looking at his face.

He thought for a moment before looking back at me. "You, Haz. I'm thankful for you."

I smiled at him, my heart beating a million times a second "I'm thankful for you too, Lou."


	5. Promise

Laying on the grass, I realized how special life was right now. I've never felt something like this in a long while. With Louis, it made everything easier. I don't think I've ever had a friend like him before. We never get bored of each other, I just wonder where Louis was the past twenty two years of my life.

"What do you thinks gonna happen?" Louis asks softly, laying on the grass next to me.  
"What do you mean?" I ask him, rolling on my side.  "I mean what's going to happen when we are finally out there. I'm scared to death, Harry. I know I signed up for this because it is what I want to do, but as it gets closer it just makes me more nervous." He admitted.

"I'll make sure you and I are okay." I told him. He was sitting up now, looking at me. "You can't assure anything though. Anything could happen." 

"I promise you'll be okay, even if it takes my last breathe to make sure you're okay." I told him, not looking at his face but looking up at the sky. The sun was setting now in the East. We probably missed dinner, but at this moment it didn't really matter to me.

Louis sighed. "Why do you care so much about me?" He asked me. Now I was sitting up. "Why wouldn't I care so much about you?"

"Back at home I had no one. It's just funny, the moment I'm on my way to train for the war and risk my own life I find a safe haven." Louis smiled at me. Did he mean me? Was I his safe haven? 

"Why didn't you have anyone at home, Lou?" I asked so softly as if those words could hurt him. Louis shook his head. "You wouldn't understand." Louis got up and stood in front of the river, kicking a few pebbles and looking down. 

I got up, walking the few steps he was away from me. "I could understand though Louis. What I don't understand is how someone so kind hearted and amazing as you would have to go through something like that."

"If I were to tell you, you and I wouldn't be the same again. You wouldn't want to be around me." Louis wiped his eyes, I did not know if it was because he was tired or if he had started to cry. 

"Nothing could change what we have, Louis. I promise you that whatever happens it's gonna be me and you against the world." I tell him, trying to reassure him that it's okay. "But if you don't want to tell me I completely understand." 

Louis just nodded. "We should probably start heading back." He said. I agreed and we started back on the trail again. The walk was quiet, it seemed like something was bugging Louis. I hope it wasn't me when I asked him why he doesn't have everyone. I was genuinely curious though, but time would tell.

When we got back to the bunks Louis turned to me, smiling a bit. "Thank you, Harry. For a great thanksgiving." Louis hugged me. He wrapped his arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. I wrapped my arms around his torso. "You're welcome, Lou." I said softly.

We pulled apart and he smiled, going through his luggage and getting out his night clothes. I did the same, changing into mine. We got into our bunks and lied down. I rolled onto my side pulling the covers up over me, though I was not tired.

After awhile all the lights were shut off and everyone had gone to bed. I had attempted to fall asleep but I couldn't for some reason. I wasn't really looking forward to tomorrow though, we would have to start training again.

I had learned how to shoot a rifle and I could tell that my muscles were strengthening from all the training from the past month. As much as I wanted to get sleep, I couldn't.

I sat up from my bed, looking around I seen that no one was awake. I placed both feet on the cool ground, still sitting on the edge of the bed. When I moved the bed creaked. I hope no one heard it.

We were not allowed to be up wandering around at dark when we were to be sleeping. But it was nearly 12 in the morning I imagined. They would all be sleeping.

"Harry?" I heard a voice whisper. I looked up to see Louis peeking over his bunk and looking down at me. "What're you doing? We're supposed to be sleeping." Louis whispered as quietly as he could.

"I cant sleep." I said getting up. "I just wanna go for a walk." I grabbed my coat, putting it on over me. "Well I'm coming with you." Louis said and got out of bed quietly, grabbing his own coat. 

"You don't have to, I'll be fine, really." I reassured him. "I want to." Louis told me. I nodded, sliding on my shoes and he doing the same. We walked as quietly as we could out of the bunks and down a hallway that lead outside.

I put my finger up to my lips and pointed over to the door. A guard was sitting there but he seemed to be asleep. We tip toed past him and I opened the door quietly. It made a squeak but the guard didn't even flinch. I'm surprised that the door wasn't locked.

We walked outside, the air was cool and there wasn't much light to see where we were going, but there was just enough.

"Why are we out here?" Louis asked, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets. I shrugged, "I just couldn't sleep. When I couldn't sleep at home I would always take a walk and just think. It helps." I told him. He just nodded and we walked around in silence for awhile.

I stopped walking and leaned up against a brick wall of the building we were sleeping in. I sighed, this was hard. It was so hard. I knew I was falling for Louis. Being around him made me crave him in ways that would make him run from me and never talk to me again. 

"What's wrong, Harry?" Louis asked stopping in front of me. I could see his breathe as he spoke. His face was a foot away from mine. 

I didn't reply to him. I stood there leaning against the wall. "Harry, tell me what's wrong." He placed his hand on my arm. 

"You're too good." I told him softly. "What do you mean?" Louis asked just as softly. I could feel my heart beating. I couldn't hold this in anymore. I wanted Louis to know. I wanted Louis to know my feelings for him. I wanted him to know that I was gay. There's a small, small chance that he could feel the same way. But there is a bigger chance that he would laugh in my face and never talk to me again. At this moment, I didn't know what to do.

"Louis, I need to tell you something." I told him, my heart beating out of my chest. "Go ahead Harry. You can tell me anything." 

I took a deep breathe. This was it. I was going to tell Louis. I was going to tell him everything. How there was never an ex girlfriend, how I had lied to him last week when I pretended that I did not mean to say boyfriend. 

"Louis, I'm g-" 

"What're you kids doing out here?!" I heard an angry voice. We turned our heads, my mouth going dry. We had been caught. Now what was going to happen?

"I.. I" I stuttered. I had no excuse. We were strictly told we were not allowed to leave the bunks at night, for we would suffer consequences. I didn't listen, this was all my fault. I have gotten Louis and I in trouble. 

"It was my fault." Louis said, taking a step towards them. "I told Harry to come out here with me, he said he didn't want to but I made him."

"Louis what are you doing?" My eyes widened. He wouldn't do this for me, I wouldn't let him do it.

"Kid, go back to your bunks. Louis, come with me." The guard told Louis. 

I looked at Louis. I was terrified. I had promised him nothing would happen to him and I broke my promise.

"I'll be okay." Louis reassured me, though I could see the fear in his eyes. He followed the guard to wherever they were going as I was escorted back to the bunks.

Why didn't they do anything to me? I felt sick. I felt sick thinking about what they could be saying or doing to Louis. 

I sat on my bunk and I could feel the tears staining my cheeks. Louis was gonna hate me, I knew it. If I would have just stayed in my bunk and tried to fall asleep this wouldn't have happened. I was gonna lose Louis, and that is an unbearable pain that I do not want to go through.

Quiet sobs came out from me. I wiped at my eyes trying to calm myself down. I got up and climbed on Louis bunk. Laying down, I could smell his cologne on the bed. I wrapped the blanket tightly around me.

Tonight I would sleep in Louis' bunk.


	6. For Lou

I woke up the next morning suddenly remembering the events from last night. I quickly got up from Louis' bunk to see Louis sleeping on my bunk. I felt awful about what happened last night, and I don't even know what they did to him. I kneeled down next to my bunk. "Oh Louis." I began, brushing my thumb over his cheek. 

Louis slowly opened his eyes, his face went from peaceful to pained. I suddenly got worried. "What did they do to you Lou?" I asked him scared.

Louis shook his head. "Nothing, don't worry about it." His voice was hoarse. "They didn't do anything?" I asked, hopeful that they just gave him a talk. Louis nodded, sitting up slowly. He winced and cried out a bit.

"Louis, stop lying to me." I told him. Louis sighed, standing up. My stomach drop, you could see blood showing through his shirt. I gasped. Louis lifted his shirt over his head, revealing at least dozen wounds on his back. They whipped him.

"Oh my god, Louis." I was crying now. "I'm so sorry, this is all my fault. I should have been the one." I hiccuped, sitting on the bunk with my head in my hands. 

Louis said nothing. He put his hands on mine, I looked up at him. His face was just inches away from mine. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I repeated over and over again. I couldn't stand this. 

"They won't let me go to the infirmary." He cried, a couple tears coming down his cheeks. "I'm going to fucking kill the person who did this to you." I told him.

Louis shook his head. "No, I'm okay Haz. Really." He tried reassuring me but I knew how much he was in pain. 

"I'd take this pain away from you if I could." I told him. "I promised I wouldn't let anything happen to you. I promised I'd make sure you'd be okay. It should of been me last night. Oh why did you do that Louis?" I said through my tears. 

"I did it because I'd rather it be me than you." Louis said softly, looking at me. My heart flipped, but the pain inside of me was much greater. "Why won't they let you go to the infirmary?" I asked. "It's my consequence. They want me to suffer from it I suppose." He said.

I shook my head. "This isn't right. I'll get you something Louis. I want to take the pain away from you." 

"No, Harry. If you get caught the same exact thing is going to happen to you." Louis said sternly. I knew the consequences. 

"I'd do anything for you. It's us against the world, remember?" I said softly. 

"No, I won't allow you to. I'll be okay, with time it will heal." I nodded my head. "Okay." I said. 

I knew that I was lying. I was going to go tonight, after everyone had fallen asleep. I was going to get him the medicine and bandages he needs. It is unbearable seeing him like this. I want to grab his face and kiss away the pain, to reassure him that everything would be okay. But even I don't know if everything will be okay.

\---------------

We had gotten back from training and ate our dinner already, we were just getting ready for bed. The whole day I could tell Louis was in pain. It should have been me. His wounds were not going to heal right if I didn't get him what he needed. They could get infected. Louis doesn't deserve this, he doesn't deserve any of this. 

I helped Louis take his shirt off so he wouldn't have to lift his arms too high up. I helped him get on a clean shirt, I told him to worry about showering in the morning. He needed to rest. I let him sleep on my bunk again. It was easier to get into instead of climbing up on the top. 

I kneeled down beside him. "Is there anything you need?" I asked him. He shook his head, not saying anything. I pulled the cover up over his back for him, he was laying on his stomach. I tried to be as gentle as I could with him. His wounds had stopped bleeding which is a good thing.

I'm so thankful that he wasn't upset with me. I don't know what I would have done if he didn't want anything to do with me. "Get some rest, Lou. I'll see you in the morning." His eyes were closed. I left him be and climbed up on Lou's bunk. 

After I knew he and the people around us were asleep I would sneak out to go to the infirmary. I have been in there a couple times so I knew where it was. 

After about an hour I climbed down as quietly as I could from the top bunk. I grabbed my satchel, in case I did not have enough hands to carry everything. 

I crept into the hallway. There was no one around which was good. I walked into the infirmary. There was a closet across the room. I walked over and opened the door, seeing all the medicine.

I grabbed a few things of bandages that would be good for a few days. I then looked at all the different medicines there were. I didn't know the names of any of them, but reading the labels I was able to find some to prevent infections and I found a bottle to prevent pain. Stuffing them in my satchel, I found some alcohol too. I would need this to clean the wounds with. 

I walked out of the closest and closed to door quietly. My heart dropped, I could hear voices down the hallway. They were coming towards the infirmary.

I quickly ducked down next to a bed hiding myself. I could not get caught. I needed to do this for Louis. 

I could see light coming this way, it was the guards. I stayed as quiet as possible, praying that I wouldn't get caught.

After a few minutes they went away. I sat there for a few minutes more until I decided to finally get up. I tiptoed down the hallway and finally reached the bunks. 

I went over to Louis' bunk and kneeled down, shaking him lightly trying not to hurt him. "Lou, wake up." I whispered. His eyes squinted open, I could tell he was exhausted. But I needed to disinfect his wounds. 

"What Haz?" He asked. "It's the middle of the night."

"I got you some medicine." I told him, holding up my satchel. His eyes widened. "Bloody hell, Harry. You shouldn't have done that, you could have gotten caught!"

"But I didn't. Come on Louis. Let's get you to the bathrooms." I helped him get up. He stumbled a little bit but regained his balance. We tiptoed to the bathrooms. There was thankfully a light on. "Here, take your shirt off." I told him. I helped him take his shirt off. I wanted to cry again just looking at his back. I counted 13 thin wounds on his back. His back was hot in temperature and very red.

Standing in front of a mirror, I grabbed everything out of my satchel and placed it in the countertop. I grabbed the bottle of alcohol, opening it up.

"Now this is going to hurt." I told Louis. "Just do it." He said looking down and screwing his eyes shut. I started off by pouring only a little bit. He hissed in pain, muffling a scream with his hand. Tears started to come down his eyes. I hated seeing him like this. "I'm sorry!" I said panicked. Now I was the one inflicting pain on him. 

I grabbed his t-shirt. "Put the end of this in your mouth, it might help." He did as he was told.

"Here, grab my hand." I told him. He intertwined his fingers with mine, giving me butterflies in my stomach. "I'm going to do it all at once." I told him. He nodded, shutting his eyes once again.

I poured the alcohol on his back, making sure it got over all of his wounds. His hand tightened on mine and a muffled scream came out of him. He was breathing hard.

"I'm done, it's over." I said. He didn't let go of my hand until after a few moments. I screwed the lid back onto the alcohol. Louis took his shirt out of his mouth. There were tears coming out of his eyes. I gently wiped them away with my thumb. "I'm sorry." I said for what seemed like the millionth time.

I took the bandages and carefully wrapped them around his torso and over the wounds. After I was done, I got the medicine out and handed it to him. "Here, this will make the pain go away." I put four aspirins in his hand. Two for the infection and the other two to take the pain away. 

He tossed them in the back of his tongue one by one and swallowed since there wasn't any water besides the not so clean water from the sinks.

"Thank you, Haz." He turned around facing me. "Thank you for everything." He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. I placed my hands on his hips, not wanting to wrap them around him in fear I might hurt him.

"Anything for you, Lou." I whispered to him. 

"You're too good for me." Louis said, his head on my shoulder.

"I want to be good for you." I told him.


	7. Train 43

It's been a week since I had snuck into the infirmary for Louis. His wounds are healing rather well and he says he can't feel pain hardly from it. 

Today is December 1st, which meant in 22 days I would be with my mum and Gemma again, with Louis next to me.

"Styles!" The postman said. Every Sunday he would give us the mail that came over the week and usually there was always one for me. 

I smiled brightly, getting up from my bunk, nodding a thanks to him and taking it from him. I sat on my bunk and opened the letter neatly unfolding it.

Dear Harry,  
I'm so glad you're doing well. I cannot wait to meet Louis, he sounds like a good guy. It's been the same here since you've left. The same labour and the same routine every day. Gemma and I has been the same. Gemma is graduating from university this weekend. She wishes you were here to see her graduate. I'll make sure to try and get a photograph for you to see when you come home. Her and I are so excited to see you, we miss you so much. I think about you every single day. I'm so proud of you. I hope everything goes well before you return home.

Love,   
Mum & Gemma.

I smiled at the letter. I slid the letter back into the envelope and into my luggage with the others. 

"Your mum again?" Louis asked, sitting down next to me. He had a sad smile on his face. I felt bad for him. He didn't have anyone at home to write him, nor did he have anyone to write. I nodded my head. "Yes, my sister is graduating from university this weekend. I wish I could be there with her." I said sadly. Louis put his hand on my back, rubbing it. He was always so comforting, even when he didn't know what to say.

"Harry?" He said, looking at me. I looked back at him. "What is it?" I asked him. 

"What were you gonna tell me before we got caught last week?" Louis asked. My stomach churned. I was hoping he would had forgotten about that, but I was wrong. "It was nothing, don't worry about it." I assured him.

"Don't lie to me Harry. I could tell there was something that you really wanted to tell me, and I can still see in your eyes that you're hiding something from me." He told me sadly. It made me feel guilty that I had to hide this from Louis. I just cannot tell him. I don't know what I was thinking that night, if I would have told him then it would have been over. Louis wouldn't want anything to do with me. I cannot lose Louis

"I'll tell you when the time is right. I just can't now." I told him. I'm not sure when that time will be, or if I could ever tell him. He sighed, putting his hand on top of mine. "You know I would never ever judge you right?" Louis said looking at me. I just nodded. He wouldn't be expecting me to tell him I'm gay though. He wouldn't see that coming.

Today was another day of training. Each day it seemed to get easier, Louis' back wasn't affecting his training anymore, which was good. It was cold outside though since it was December which made me dread training. Inside the bunks it wasn't any better, it was freezing due to the lack of heat. 

The days went on though. Before we knew it, it was December 23rd. Today we are leaving on the same train we came. I was so happy, today I would get to see my family. I packed up my luggage, throwing it in my bunk.

"I'm so excited! I can't believe you're coming with me too." I beamed. I could tell Louis was nervous, I had to reassure him everything would be okay.

"Don't be nervous, Lou. My mum is so excited to see you." I faced him. He already had his luggage packed too. Louis was wearing a button down shirt tucked into his beige pants. He looked really, really good. His hair was combed up and I could see some stubble around his jaw. 

"I hope they like me." Louis said, sighing a bit. "Louis, they'll love you, who wouldn't love you? I l-" I stopped myself. "I'm sure you'll be fine once you meet everyone." I said softly, smiling at him. He smiled back at me. "We better get going." I told him. He nodded, grabbing his luggage off his perfectly made bed.

We walked side by side to the cars that would drive us to the train station. Louis got in after me. In the back of the car our legs were touching. It made me smile a bit to myself. 

Louis looked out the window the whole time on the way there. His knee was shaking, I could tell he was nervous. I put my hand on his knee, reassuring him again that there was nothing to be nervous about.

Louis was a piece of artwork. The way he looked out the window, the sun reflected off his eyes perfectly. The way the stubble covered his upper lip and jaw, the way he squinted his eyes when the sun would bother them too much. 

We arrived at the train station, I held the door open for Louis while he got out and then closed it. I don't think I have ever been this excited. It's been almost two months since I've seen my mum and Gemma, I believe that's the longest I've ever been away from them.

Once we got our tickets hole punched I walked through the aisle until I found an open two seats. I put my luggage in the cubby, and took Louis' too, even though he said he could do it himself.

I sat down with a big smile on my face. I was finally coming home. I looked over to Louis to see he had a big grin on his face.

"What is it?" I smiled at him. "Do you know what this is?" He asked me. I could see the crinkles next to eyes. He was an angel.

"What?" I asked him. Our faces were just inches away from each other. It didn't mean anything to him, though.

"This is where we first met." He told me. "Is it really?" I asked. He nodded. "Row 18. I noticed it when I came over here." 

The whole entire train ride I couldn't keep still. My knee kept on bouncing and I even knew myself that I was fidgeting. Louis would laugh at me. This train ride seemed so much longer than when I was going to Dunkirque but in reality it was only a couple hours.

The train finally stopped. My heart was beating. I couldn't believe that after two months I would finally get to see mum and Gemma again. 

"This is it!" I said excitedly. We rushed to get up and get our luggages out from the cubby. I rushed off the train trying to look for the familiar brunette hair that I have longed to see for the past two months. Louis was following closely next to me. There were people all over rushing around and being reunited with their loved ones

I first saw my mum, and the Gemma. Standing towards the back of the train station out of the way of people.

I rushed through the crowd. I'm sure I was rushing into people but I honestly did not care. I embraced my mum and sister in a hug when I finally got to them. I hugged them so tightly as they did the same. I was so happy.

"My sweet boy. I'm so glad you're home." She told me, her hand resting on my head as we hugged. 

We finally pulled apart. She looked behind me and that was when I noticed that I had forgot that Louis was here with me.

"Mum, Gemma, this is Louis." I introduced him. I knew he was nervous. But what I didn't expect was for my mum to embrace Louis in a hug. It took Louis by surprised but he smiled and hugged back.

"It's nice to meet you two." He said, smiling at both my mum and Gemma. I can tell he was calming down now, probably since my mom was so affectionate. 

"And it's nice to meet you, too." My mum smiled widely. "Harry has told me so many things about you." I blushed. "Mum." I muttered, embarrassed. "All good things I hope." Louis said smiling. "Well of course!" She said. "We better get home, I'll put your guys' luggage in the trunk." Mum said.

We got into the car and drove home which was only a half hour away. I was so happy to see home when we finally arrived. 

"Home sweet home!" My mum said, walking in. I followed her with Louis closely behind. 

"I'll finish cooking dinner while you guys settle in, okay?" She said. "Okay, we'll be in my room." I told her. 

When we got into my room I turned to Louis. "See, I told you there was nothing to worry about." I told him setting my luggage on my bed. "Yeah, your mum is really nice." Louis told me smiling. "Where do you want me to put my stuff?" He asked.

"Anywhere is fine, you can leave it on my bed for now." I told him. He nodded. "Where am I going to be sleeping?" Louis asked. It's then that I noticed that there were no extra beds. I hadn't thought this through the way I thought.

"Um... Well we have a couch. Or you could sleep with me." I blushed, kind of embarrassed. My bed was a full size, and the thought of sleeping with Louis thrilled me.

Louis smiled at me. "I can just sleep on the couch." He said to me. My heart sank a little, kind of disappointed. "Okay, I'll make sure you get some pillows and blankets." I told him, smiling through my disappointment. 

He nodded. "Sounds good. Thanks Haz." He told me. I nodded. I then heard my mum yell that dinner was ready. "Come on." I told him. He followed behind me as I lead him to our dining room.

The dining room wasn't anything fancy. It was a small room that connected to the kitchen with a round oak dining room table with 4 chairs. There were some family portraits on the wall and a light on the ceiling but that was about it.

My mum brought out a pot of beef stew, one of my favorites. We all sat down along the table. We passed along the pot, filling our bowls and started to dig in.

"So, Louis, where are you from?" My mum asked. Louis cleared his throat. "Doncaster." He replied. "Really? Are your parents from there too?" My mum asked, putting a spoonful of broth in her mouth. I looked at Louis, I could tell that he seemed panicked. He hesitated. "Um... Yes. Yes they are." He answered looking down at his bowl.

I quickly changed the topic. "What a great dinner." I complimented. "It's really good." I told her. "Aw, thanks Harry. I knew you really liked this meal." She told me, oblivious to what just went on. 

"I heard that you and my son are getting along pretty well?" My mom said, smiling at Louis. Louis nodded, clearing his throat again. "Yeah, he's pretty great." Louis said, glancing at me. I smiled a bit to myself. 

"Yes, he's told me. He's always writing about you." My mum said. My heart started beating a bit, I had told Louis that I mentioned in my letters a few times but I didn't want him to think I was weird. "Really?" Louis said, smiling at my mum.  She nodded. 

"Yes, Harry and I basically know everything about each other." Louis said. Yes, besides that I'm gay. I thought to myself. "From Harry's favorite color down to his girlfriends." Louis said, chuckling a bit. 

"Girlfriends?" My mom questioned. My heart was beating so fast. I couldn't move, I couldn't think. "What girlfriends?" My mum asked, confused a bit. 

"Um..." Louis said, kind of confused at the moment. "You know, all his ex girlfriends. He said he was pretty popular with the ladies." Louis chuckled a bit, recalling the conversation we had last month.

My mom laughed a bit, shaking her head. "You're funny, Harry's gay. I-" My silverware fell from my hands. My heart stopped. My eyes went wide. No. No. No. This can't be happening. This isn't happening. I was frozen, I can't look up to see Louis' face. My mum was so fucking oblivious. 

"Harry?" Louis said.


	8. Confessions

"Harry?" Louis said.

My mouth went dry. "I..." I couldn't speak. I couldn't think. There were so many things rushing through my mind. I could feel my eyes start to burn. I hadn't looked up yet. I didn't want to see Louis' disgusted face. 

I stood up from my chair and ran to my room, hot tears pouring down my face. I slammed the door. I was shaking, I couldn't stop shaking. I couldn't believe this. My hands went up to my face. I was sobbing. I didn't know what I was going to do. God knows what he thinks about me now.

I slammed my fist on my desk. This is not how today was supposed to go. This whole week is going to be ruined now. 

Loud sobs came out of me, I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't lose the best thing that happened to me in the past couple months.

A few minutes later I heard a soft knock on the door. "Harry?" I heard a faint voice. I shook my head. I didn't reply to him. I sat on my bed with my head in my hands. It was all over, I was going to lose Louis. The pain is unbearable. 

I heard my door creek open. I didn't look up to him. I couldn't stand to see the disgusted facial expression that would lay upon his angelic face. 

I felt two hands wrap around my wrists. "Harry, look at me." Louis pleaded. I couldn't look up. It's like my body went into a lockdown. I couldn't do it. "Harry." Louis begged.

It was in that moment that I realized Louis was a hurricane and I was the land he would destroy if I looked up at him. It would break me more than I already was.

Louis put his finger under my chin, lifting my head up so I was forced to look at his face. I couldn't read his face. I didn't know what was going on through his head, nor did I think I wanted to know. 

"Oh, Harry." He whispered to me, sliding his thumb under my cheek to wipe away a tear that would only soon be replaced by a dozen more.

Why was he being so nice to me? Why hasn't he shunned me away like everyone else?

I then seen a tear slide down Louis' cheek. I was confused, why would he be crying? 

I still couldn't speak. There were so many things rushing through my head that I wanted to tell him. I wanted to scream and tell him how much I loved him. 

"Is that what you wanted to tell me that one night? The night when we got caught?" He asked me so softly as if he could break me any second.

I nodded. "I've wanted to tell you this whole time." I whispered to him. "It's okay if you don't want to be around me anymore. I'll understand." It pained me to say these things to him. 

"Why on earth would I not want to be around you Harry?" He asked me, his tone picking up a bit. "Why wouldn't you?!" I said, standing up. "I'm gay, that's a sin Louis. They'd kick me out  
of the army just for being gay! It's disgusting Louis, and there's nothing I can do to change it." I told him.

Louis stood up. "Harry, when I said that I would never judge you for anything I meant it. You're crazy to think I'd ever leave you. Do you know how much that would kill me?" He said with a pained expression in his face.

"I lied to you Louis. You've told me everything there was to know about you and I kept this from you." I cried. 

"I don't blame you, Harry. I would never blame you for anything in the world." Louis was only a few feet away from me. I couldn't believe we were having this discussion.

I stepped closer towards him. "Why, Louis? Why haven't you left just like everyone else?" I asked him, looking in his eyes.

Louis then took a step closer to me. "Because Harry," Louis started but then stopped himself.

"Because? Louis, you're so fucking oblivious. I'm in love with you. There I said it. I'm in love with you and the thought of you leaving me would destroy me." I admitted to him. I couldn't believe I was saying this stuff.

"You're in love with me?" Louis gasped, his eyes widened.

"Yes, I'm in love with you. Now that you know everything, you're for sure to leave now." 

"But-" I cut him off. "You know when I decided that I fell in love with you? That day at the river. That's when I decided that I'm in love with Louis fucking Tomlinson." I was angry, I wasn't angry at him but to myself that I was doing this.

"I couldn't stand it, Louis. You're such a perfect human being and I'm disgusting. I'm disgusting for even thinking these things." I had started to cry again.

"Harry." Louis whispered. I looked at him, I had not noticed that he started to cry. Why was he crying? It was then I noticed how close we were to each other. I could feel his hot breathe against my face. 

I calmed down, looking at him. A few moments passed by and I sighed.

"You're too good to me." Louis whispered. My heart was beating fast, I've never been this nervous in my entire life.

"Give me something that I can hold onto forever and never let go." I whispered to him.

Louis pressed his lips against mine, and my black and white world turned to color again.


	9. Perfect Nights

I couldn't believe this was happening. What did this mean? I couldn't process anything, only that Louis' lips were on mine. But at this moment I didn't want to process anything but that.

I let it take me over. It all fell from, pain and war and terror. For the next few moments I would not feel anything but the adrenaline through my body.

Louis lips were still on mine, kissing me. I kissed back. He had his hands on the sides of my face, one in my short hair. I held him close to me, our bodies touching. 

After a few moments Louis pulled away from me, breathing heavily. These things only happened in my dreams, it was hard to make out if this was another one of them or reality.

"Now you know." Louis whispered to me, his eyes still closed. My heart was pounding. The tears on my cheeks was replaced with red. I could feel that my face was hot. 

"I can't make out what's real and not real." I told him, we were now looking at each other. "This, Harry. This is real." Louis said softly. 

I couldn't believe it. What were the odds of Louis being gay? Or the odds of him feeling the same? I didn't even know if he loved me or not.

"You're so beautiful." Louis said, his thumb grazing over my cheek. "I can't promise to fix all your problems, but I can promise you won't face them all alone, Harry." 

My heart leaped. I didn't know what to say, I pulled back from him and sat down, Louis sitting closely next to me, our legs touching. I was still trying to process all of this. It had all happened so fast. 

"When did you realize?" I asked him. This was the question that I wanted an answer to. I wanted to know the moment he realized he loved, or started to have feelings for me. 

"I realized that you were going to change my life the moment you told me we'll be okay that first night we were together. I realized I loved you when you were the last thing I thought of before I fell asleep and the first thing that entered my mind the moment I woke up." Louis admitted, his hand on top of mine. 

"That's why I don't have anyone at home, Harry. My family kicked me out when I was seventeen because of the fact that I was gay. They were strong Christians and they said I was to go to hell. It's been seven years, Harry. I haven't had anyone for seven years until I met you." I could feel my eyes burning again, something that I was familiar to by now. 

This also meant that Louis probably hasn't had a Christmas in seven years, or a nice birthday. I want to give him everything that he missed out on the last seven years. I wanted to make sure he knew he was special, that he didn't deserve what his family did to him.  

I turned to him. "I'm so sorry, Louis. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. From now on I'll be next to you through everything, and that's a promise I'm not going to break." I told him softly, moving a strand of hair out of his eyes. "You're something special, you know that right?" Louis asked me. I shook my head.

"You are, Harry. I love you for all that you are, all that you have been, and all you're yet to be." Louis said. I smiled at him, knowing that I too have found my safe haven.

We stayed sitting on my bed for a couple hours, just talking to each other. This is something we rarely got to do. With a full day of training and with people all around there's only been a couple occasions where we could just relax and talk to each other. 

I lied down on my bed next to Louis. We were laying on our sides facing each other. It was a perfect moment. It was getting late by now. Mum never came to check up on us, which I'm thankful for. She was good like that, she always knew when the time was right to do something.  Even what she did tonight made me feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. I don't feel nervous about anything anymore. 

Eventually Louis closed his eyes. I knew it was getting late, we've been in here for hours. So much has happened. I'm exhausted too. He looked so peaceful though. His small body next to mine with his eyes closed and lips partly open. It was something that I wanted to wake up to every morning. I didn't want time to escape us, I wanted to be laying here for eternity with no worries of war in my head. 

I knew that times were going to be hard after awhile. I am not mentally prepared for what will come in the next few months. We go back January 2nd, after New Years. From then on we train every single day, no breaks. I don't know how I'm going to get through this, but I know along the way Louis will be there. 

I looked at the clock to see it was just past midnight. I smiled to myself, looking down at the perfect artwork that lied next to me with his arm around my torso.

"Happy Birthday, Lou." I whispered to him, closing my eyes and eventually falling asleep. 

 

I know this chapter is pretty short, but I hope you guys liked it! This chapter actually took me hours to write. Please vote and comment your opinions. (:


	10. Je T'aime

I woke up the next morning with a cold spot next to me. I panicked, did Louis wake up and suddenly regret everything that happened last night?

Last night. It was so perfect last night even though it started off rough. I hope my mom wasn't upset that I caused a scene yesterday at day my first day back, I'd have to apologize to her, and maybe even thank her for her opening her big mouth. I chuckled a bit at myself.

I rolled over on my back, squinting at the light that poured into my room. Last night was the first night in a couple months that I slept really good. In my own bed with Louis next to me. I just hope he hasn't changed his mind about what happened last night. I got slightly worried at the thought but didn't push it.

I really didn't feel like getting up, but I was too uncomfortable. I slept in my clothes that I wore all day yesterday, even though I didn't mean to. So much stuff happened that I forgot.

I got up from my bunk and combed my fingers through my hair. I missed my longer hair. Before I left for Dunkirque I had cut off about six inches, but I do admit that the shorter hair does feel better. 

I walked over to the chest across the room, pulling out a drawer and getting some clean clothes. I didn't really plan on doing anything today, besides staying home with Louis, mum, and Gemma.

That's when I remembered, I haven't gotten anything for Louis' birthday. Shit. I haven't had time since I just got home and I guess it just slipped my mind. I had to come up with something, I wanted Louis to enjoy himself today. I sighed, getting changed into my clothes. I combed through my hair, trying to get it to at least look alright, but of course it wouldn't. 

I walked out of my bedroom and into the kitchen, smiling when I seen my mum. "Good morning." I smiled to her, kissing her on the cheek. "What are you so happy again?" She asked as I stood there with a grin on my face. I shrugged. "Where's Louis?" I asked her. 

"He just got up about twenty minutes ago, he's said he was going to clean himself up." She told me, I nodded. I figured since I had nothing to give to Louis that I would make him some breakfast. Christmas was tomorrow though, I had to get him something for that at least. I sighed thinking about the lack of money I have. All I have is a few euros, I'm not sure what that will get but I was going to try. 

"Do you or Gemma want anything to eat?" I asked them, searching through the cabinets in hopes that I would find something. Mum shook her head. "No, thanks dear. We already ate, you do realize it's almost eleven, right?" My mom said, sipping her coffee. I looked at the time, she was right. 

"Oh, right." I chuckled. "I'll just make some for me and Louis then. It's his birthday today." I told her, settling on oatmeal, toast and a bowl of fruit would be okay. "Is it really? Well we need to do something for the Christmas Eve baby." My mum said chuckling. I laughed at her. "Christmas Eve baby?" I questioned. She nodded. "Yes, those who are born on Christmas Eve are special." She told me. I nodded agreeing with her, Louis is special. 

"Where's Gemma?" I asked mum, just now aware that I haven't seen her. "She decided to go over to her friends house, she told me she's been under so much stress with finding a job since graduating university that she wanted to have a girls day." She told me. I then felt really guilty, I forgot to congratulate her. 

Mum left the room and I prepared our breakfast, or brunch. Whatever you wanted to call it. As I was preparing breakfast I seen a photograph on the fridge of my sister and mum from her graduation. I looked at it, smiling before I sat the table for me and Louis. I hope he liked it, I wanted to make sure his day was perfect. 

"What's this?" I heard a voice say. I turned around to see Louis standing there in the doorway, his hair messy and wet with a clean shaven face. I smiled at him. "Happy Birthday!" I told him, standing next to the table proudly as if I made some type of amazing artwork or something when all I did was make breakfast.

Louis smiled at me, coming up to hug me. I wrapped my arms around him tightly. Louis smelled like peppermint. "Thank you so much." He said, standing on his top toes and surprising me with a kiss. I grinned from ear to ear. I'm glad he hasn't had any regrets from last night, or none that I could see. 

"I hope oatmeal is alright. We didn't have anything else really but if you don't like oatmeal and I can go out and get you something or-" Louis stopped me. Laughing, he said "Oatmeal is fine, Haz. I'm great full for you even doing this for me. I haven't had a home cooked breakfast in years. Thank you, I mean it." Louis told me, sitting down at the table and me doing the same. 

I smiled softly at him. "I just want to make sure your birthday is special." I said softly. "Being right here with you in a warm house makes it special. Don't worry about me, Harry. Now let's eat." He said. I nodded, smiling at him. I know I shouldn't be making a big deal about this but I want to. It's his twenty fifth birthday. 

We ate in silence. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence though. It was a silence where we just enjoyed each others company. After Louis was done, I took mine and his dishes to the sink and started rinsing them off. 

Half way through washing the dishes I felt a pair of arms snake around my waist. I turn around, seeing Louis in front of me. I smiled down at him, it was nice that I had the advantage of being about two inches taller than him, even though he's over two years older than me. 

"Thank you." He told me again, smiling so big that crinkles formed next to his eyes. It was a lovely sight. "No need to thank me for wanting to make your birthday special." I told him. "I'm just glad you don't have any regrets about last night." 

Louis frowned a bit. "Why would I? I meant everything I said last night and I'm not taking it back." He told me. I nodded, agreeing. "Same here. I just get anxious is all." 

Louis smiled at me, playing with my hair. "Your hair is getting longer." He said. He was right, the last two months my hair has grown but not all that much. "You should have seen it three months ago, it almost went past my shoulders." I laughed. "Really?" Louis asked. "You've never told me it was that long. I wish I could have seen it." He said. 

I shook my head. "It was time for it to go anyways. I donated it." I told him proudly, putting the last of the dishes up. "You're such a good person." Louis said, leaning up against the counter top. I smiled at him. "I just want to do everything I can to help others. Somebody out there needs it more than I do anyways." I told him, smiling a bit at the thought of my hair making someone out there happy. 

"What do you want to do today?" I asked him. "Since its your birthday and all." I added. Louis thought about it for a moment before shrugging. "I don't know the area as well as you do. I honestly have no idea." He told me. He was right. 

I thought about it for a moment. "I could take you into the village and show you around. There's a lot of shops and bakery's down there. We're running low on gas, but it literally is only a few minute walk." I told him. Louis nodded. "Sounds perfect. Let me get changed and we can leave." He said, walking out of the room and to my room I imagined since that's where his luggage was. I smiled to myself, I hope today goes perfectly for him. 

I put on my shoes and a coat. Looking out the window there was snow coming lightly down, but not too much. It didn't look windy either, and the sun was shining. There wasn't a lot of snow on the ground either which made it perfect. 

Louis came out a moment later all dressed up in his coat. "Mum, me and Louis are going down to the village for a little bit." I told her, she was sitting on the sofa reading the newspaper. "Okay, be careful." She smiled up to me. "You know I will." I said. 

"Happy Birthday Louis!" My mom smiled at him, standing up and giving him a quick hug. "Thank you, I really appreciate it." He told her. I could tell how much this all meant to him.

Opening the door, me and Louis walked out and started walking down the road to the village. 

I brought what money I had in case Louis wanted something. It wasn't too awfully cold outside which I was great full for. I desperately wanted to hold Louis' hand but I knew I couldn't around here. 

I honestly didn't care what people thought about me being gay, but everyone knew everyone around here, so they knew who my mum was and sister. I couldn't let them be bothered by everyone knowing that I was gay, they wouldn't get off their backs about it. That's just how it sadly was.

We soon arrived to the village where small shops and bakery's lined the roads. Walking past I looked in the display windows to see if I could get an idea of what to buy Louis.

"Can we go in there?" Louis asked, pointing to a shop. I nodded, smiling to myself that hopefully I could find something in there.

Walking in the woman at the counter greeted us. "It's good to see you again Harry!" She greeted me. I smiled to her. "You too, how's it been?" I asked her. She told me how it's been the same old. I looked over to see Louis admiring something in a glass case.

I walked over to him and seen that you could get custom gold bracelets made. Reading the sign, it said "Customized his or hers bracelets! Starting at three euros." I think I knew what I was getting Louis. Louis walked off to the other end of the store looking at all the clothes and antiques that laid about.

I walked over to the counter. "How long would it take to get one of those bracelets made?" I asked her. "Oh I can have it done within five minutes." She told me. I smiled, that was perfect.

"I'd like to have one done." I told her. She nodded. I picked out the gold bracelet that was meant for men. "What would you like on it?" She asked me. I told her what I wanted and she quickly engraved it using a machine she had behind the counter.

I quickly payed her before Louis came back as she handed me the bracelet that was in a small black box. 

I opened up the box to make sure it was correct. I smiled at the bracelet, I really hoped he liked it. I read the engraving that was engraved on the inside of the bracelet. 

In small letters it said "Je t'aime. H." 

 


	11. He

I smiled and walked back over to Louis, sticking the box deep inside my coat pocket, making sure it wouldn't fall out. I had spent most of the money that I came with, but I had some left in case Louis would want anything.

"See anything you like?" I smiled to him, hands in my pocket. He shook his head, glancing over to the same glass box that I was just at moments ago. "No." He lied, forcing a smile nevertheless. I could tell when he was lying. 

"Let's go." Louis told me, starting to walk out of the shop with me closely behind him. "Where to now?" I asked, standing maybe a bit to close to him, but I did not mind, and I don't think he did either. 

Suddenly I smelled something so delicious that made my mouth start to water. I looked over in the direction in which it was coming from to see a bakery. "Let's go!" Louis repeated the same two words from minutes ago, but with excitement in his voice. I chuckled, following him as he raced like a little kid to the bakery.

We walked into the small bricked bakery, seeing a big glass case filled with an assortment of desserts and breads. Louis walked up to the glass, eyeing everything with awe. I was doing the same, but it was him that I was eyeing in awe instead of the sweet deserts that lied just a foot in front of us.

"Can we get something?" Louis pleaded, his eyes glinting as he looked at me. "Of course, no need to ask. What do you want?" I asked him. 

Louis turned back to the glass case, contemplating what he wanted as if it was the biggest decision in the world. 

"Is there anything I can help you guys with?" An older women behind the counter asked. Louis looked up to her, quickly making up his mind and asking for the double chocolate slice of cake. It was only one euro, a whole cake though was five. I felt for the change I had in my pocket, seeing that I had seven euros left. 

"How about you take a seat and I'll wait for your cake?" I offered. He nodded, going across the room and sitting at a nearby table. As soon as I seen he was oblivious to what I was about to do, I ushered the same women from moments ago to come over.

"Can I actually buy a whole cake?" I asked smirking, a small smile playing on my lips. She nodded, grabbing a box to put the cake into.

"Will that be all?" She asked me, now setting the closed cardboard box in front of me. I nodded, smiling politely. I gave her the money to pay for the large double chocolate cake. She thanked me as I grabbed the cardboard box and walked over to where Louis sat.

"Happy Birthday!" I smiled, setting the box in front of Louis on the small square table that stood in front of me. Louis' mouth gaped open, astonished that I had done this for him.

"Good lord, Harry! You shouldn't have." Louis grinned, opening the white box to be greeted by the enriching smell of the chocolate cake.

"I did it for you." I smiled sheepishly, pushing my hands back into my coat boxes. Louis eyes were crinkling at the sides, one of the many characteristics that I was so in love with. 

"Thank you, Haz." He said softly. At this moment I longed to kiss him, to show everyone the man I am so desperately in love with, but I knew I couldn't.

"Let's get going before I end up buying this whole bakery." I joked, picking up the cardboard box and shutting the lid. Louis smiled and nodded, standing up and following by my side out of the bakery.

"You've made this day so special for me." Louis said softly as we left the village and started our walk back home. Snow flurries came down and coated Louis' feathered hair, making him so much more angelic than what he seemed.

"I don't think I've ever been treated like this." He admitted, his hands tucked in his pocket. "You deserve it, Lou. I want to make sure everyday is good for you." I confessed, my face heating up from the passionate words I was telling him. I have never been this affectionate to someone before.

Louis grinned, his arm brushing against mine as we walked. 

I couldn't believe something so special entered my life. He was my muse, a perfect human being who radiated warmth. I was crazy over him. He gave me hope for life from just the short two months that I've known him. He made getting up in the morning something I looked forward to; for I knew he would always be there. He was the type of perfection that I craved. I craved him in ways I never have craved anyone before. He was everything and beyond that. 

"What are you thinking about?" Louis asked suddenly, cold puffs of breathe coming from his pink lips. "You." I blurted with no shame, looking straight ahead as we walked.

"Really?" Louis beamed, his voice so soft it was as if the angels spoke to me. I nodded, listening to the sound of him and our shoes scruffing on the ground as we walked. I took one of my hands off the cardboard box and intertwining our fingers together since there was no one around.

I heard Louis sigh happily, and for the first time since I met him I knew we were going to be okay.


	12. Christmas Eve

Warning: Sexual Content 

Louis walked around my bedroom, complaining how awfully bored he was. "It's Christmas Eve, it's your birthday, you can't be bored." I told him, sitting up on my forearms watching him as he walked back and forth looking around my bedroom in search for something to do.

Louis huffed, sitting down on the edge of my bed, smiling down at me. "I know." He said, his smile lingering on his lips. "I'm going to take a shower, okay?" Louis said softly, getting up. I nodded, watching him as he did so.

Louis left the bedroom, going down the hall to where the bathroom was. I lied on my bed, looking up at the ceiling. I thought about how Louis was probably getting undressed right now. I heard the faint sound of the shower turning on. I sat up, sitting on the edge of my bed, placing my fingers on my bottom lip.

I couldn't help the tension that seemed to be building up between my legs. I shook my head, rubbing my hands over my face. I can't be thinking these things, I don't know what has gotten into me.

Of course thoughts of Louis in the shower entered my thoughts. Thoughts of his wet hair sticking to the sides of his face and the beads of water that is running down his toned back right now.

I heard the water shut off, indicating that he was done. I don't know why I was so sexually frustrated right now. I don't know why Louis had such a strong affect on me even when he was not in the same room, but just feet away from me naked, nothing but a thin wall separating us.

Foot steps could be heard coming towards my room. I looked up, to see Louis enter the room with nothing but a towel hanging loosely on his hips. He held a handful of dirty clothes in his arms. Damn Louis.

I tried not to stare at his hips, the way they curved and the way you could see his v line going down into the towel. His wet hair stuck to the back of his neck and face, just how I imagined moments ago.

"I forgot to get some clean clothes." Louis said innocently, "Where should I put my dirty clothes?" He asked. "In the hamper in the corner is fine." I told him, my voice coming out raspier than before.

I couldn't do this, I couldn't stop staring at him. The way his muscles moved in his back as he went to go throw his clothes in the hamper was really just turning me on. I couldn't help it. 

I stood up, Louis' back still faced towards me. I frowned a little bit, seeing the scars on his back from when they tortured him. He turned around, a small gasp coming from between his lips since he had no expected me to be standing so close to him. His eyelashes stuck together from being wet, beads of water gathered around on his shoulders, it was an angelic sight.

I stared at him, taking in his beauty. We were only a few inches away from each other. I put my hand up to his face, caressing his jaw line while pushing some of his hair out of his face. I couldn't control my actions, I couldn't control what I was doing. All I knew was that this felt right.

Louis stood up on his toes, pressing his lips against mine suddenly. I kissed back, my hand still resting at the side of his face while my other pulled on his waist, pulling him closer to me.

My heart was beating fast, my mind a blur. Louis hands were placed on my chest, toying with the buttons on my shirt. My thumb rubbed against his soft skin, absolutely no flaw covering his body.

I softly bit his bottom lip, tugging on it a bit. I couldn't believe what was going on, but I never wanted him more than I do now.

I led him over to my bed, laying him down. I hovered over him, my lips staying in contact with his. Louis undid the buttons on my shirt, fumbling with a few. I slid it off my shoulders and arms, throwing it on the floor. 

My lips traveled down his jaw, leaving sloppy kisses up and down Louis' neck. I heard his breathing pick up as I left my lips on a certain spot on his neck. I sucked on the skin, smirking to myself hearing Louis' breathing pick up, his fingers running through my hair.

My lips found my way back up to his. My mind was going wild by now, not being able to hold itself together. I felt Louis' hand go down to undo my pants. I helped him, sliding the thin fabric off of my legs and onto the floor where my shirt was.

The only thing that clothed me now was my boxers. Louis still had the towel around his waist, any moment it could come apart and slide off of him, revealing himself to me.

"I want you, so much." Louis whispered to me, his hands on my shoulder. "Let me love you then." I looked down at Louis, his eyes looking up at me full of lust and glinting underneath me. 

I smashed my lips back onto his, running my hand down his torso reaching right above where the towel was. I palmed him through the towel, teasing him and feeling how hard he was for me. Louis was all mine tonight.

My lips found their way down Louis' neck again, making their way down his chest. My hands were everywhere on his soft, tan skin. I couldn't get enough of him. We were skin to skin on each other and I still craved to be closer to him in ways that I've never been before.

My hand snuck their way in the towel, the towel coming apart and falling on the sides of his waist. I sat up a bit, taking in the sight before me.

Louis put his arms over his face trying to hide the redness that snuck onto it. He was clearly insecure, but he was too beautiful to feel this way.

I placed my hands on his wrists, pulling them away from his face and pinning them to the sides of his head. "You're so beautiful." I told him softly, trying to make him as comfortable as I can. 

Louis blushed, a smile playing on his lips. I started to grind my hips against his, a moan escaping my lips. "Fuck, Louis." I moaned. 

Louis eyes were shut, his lips parted. His hands went down to remove the last article of clothing on my body. He was just as needy as I was. I kicked them off, both of us being completely revealed to each other. Louis looked down at me, his eyes widening a bit as he seen the size of my length. I smirked a bit at him, my hand going down to grab his dick.

A loud gasp came from Louis' mouth, he kneaded the sheets we were laying on as I gently squeezed him, rubbing my hand up and down. My lips made their way down his torso. I felt so in control, making Louis feel good like this.

Louis' loud moans filled my ears as I jerked him off. I kissed his v line, leaving wet spots here and there. I looked up at Louis to see him looking down at me, his blue eyes a darker shade than usual. 

I looked into his eyes, making sure he was okay with what I was about to do. After seeing a single nod from Louis, my mouth wrapped around his length, taking him all. Louis' moans increased and his hands slammed down on the side of him trying to control himself. 

I bobbed my head back and forth, looking up at him. Louis took one of his hands and placed it on my head, tugging at my hair. I moaned on his dick, loving the feeling he brought me. 

Louis' moans told me that he was ready to come any moment. I smirked to myself, pulling my mouth off of him right before he came, looking up to see Louis with his head flopped on my pillow. I loved teasing him. I took my hands off of his dick and squeezed his thighs. 

I positioned myself over him so my lips were next to his ear. "Turn around baby." I told him, my voice low. His chest heaved up and down as he obeyed, turning himself around so he was on all fours. 

My hands slid down his back. "This will only hurt a little bit." I told him, being cautious of my next actions. He gulped, slowly nodding. 

I positioned myself in front of him, slowly sliding my tip in him careful not to hurt my precious Louis. Louis' fists grabbed the pillow and he bowed his head down, his eyes squeezing shut as he tried to contain himself. 

I inched more of my long dick into him, my eyes rolling back along with my head as I felt him around me. Moans came out of our mouths, both of us enjoying the pleasure we brought to each other. 

I slid myself in and out of him, grabbing onto Louis' hips. I rocked myself into him, both of us breathing heavy as loud moans escaped from our mouths. "Shit, you're so good for me, so good." I repeated, my pace picking up. By now Louis had gotten used to me. 

My fingers pressed into Louis' skin as I pounded into him. "H-Harry, I'm g-gonna..." Louis stuttered, not able to finish his sentence. I knew exactly what he meant though.

My movements got quicker as each second passed. I loved the feeling of him, I loved the feeling he gave me. I could feel Louis start to shake under me, I knew he wasn't far from coming.

"Cum for me baby." I said, my voice filled with lust as I commanded him. My thrusts were getting sloppy and moments later I bursted inside of him. A loud moan came out from me, I threw my head back finishing him off. 

Louis head was smashed into the pillow in front of him, his arms at the side of his head. Louis busted all over the towel that was still bunched up underneath him, his moans copying mine. I pulled out of him, my breathing unsteady as I threw myself down next to him, taking the messy towel and throwing it to the other side of the room.

Beads of sweat framed our faces as Louis switched to lie down on his back, his arm draped over his stomach as he looked up at the ceiling, his chest rising up and down with each breathe he took. 

Finally after a few moments he turned on his side, looking at me. I looked into his tired eyes, feeling myself exhausted as well. Louis scooted closer to me, his arms wrapping around my torso. Louis sat his head on my chest, I took the knit blanket that was next to me to drape over us. 

My arms wrapped around Louis, pulling this perfect angel closer to me. 

"Thank you for such a perfect birthday." Louis thanked me, his eyes closed. "Anything for you, Lou." I said softly.


	13. Christmas Day

My eyelids fluttered opened, squinting and adjusting to the light. I felt arms wrapped tightly around me, I looked down to see Louis sleeping peacefully against me, our chests pressed together and his head laying against my shoulder. Thoughts of last night snuck in my mind and I couldn't help the smile that came upon my lips and the butterflies that danced around inside of me.

Thoughts of seeing Louis bent over in front of me, moaning my name clouded my thoughts again and I had to force myself to push them away as I felt the familiar tingles throughout my body just thinking about it. 

I suddenly remembered that it was Christmas morning, and I could give Louis his present that I've been dying to give him for the past day. I lied here though, enjoying the peace this gave me, something I haven't been able to enjoy for awhile. 

I felt Louis' soft breaths against my neck as he breathed, I loved the way he held me tightly against him, our naked body's skin to skin with only a blanket covering us. 

I felt his breathing pick up, his muscles tensing under my touch before his eyes slowly opened. My heart picked up as his face turned to realization on the current situation. He looked up at me, a hint of a smile covered his still tired face. "Good morning." I said softly, loosening my grip on him so he could rub his eyes. "Good morning." He replied, his voice coming out raspy. 

"Did you sleep well?" I asked him, my hand stroking up and down the side of his torso, feeling his soft skin. Louis nodded, smiling and sitting up. I suddenly missed the feeling of his presence next to me, instantly feeling the warmth of him escape me. I rolled back on my bed, my arms up behind my head. His hair was messy, sticking up in all different directions which made me chuckle at the sight. 

"I better get washed up," Louis told me, sitting up fully now. "Again." He added, blushing a bit.   
I was now sitting up, watching him as he looked down at this lap. "You don't regret anything, right?" I asked, suddenly worried if he thought last night was a mistake. Louis looked up, eyes wide and quickly shaking his head "Of course not." He smiled sweetly at me, giving me a peck on my lips as he stood up, the blanket being discarded from him. 

I watched him with my bottom lip being held by my teeth as he got a change of clothes out. I watched how his muscles moved on his back, but feeling sad from the reminder that lays with those muscles on his back, the reminder that could be there permanently if his scars didn't fade away. 

I got up, the blanket falling from my thighs. I felt the cold air hit me, instantly shivering. The heating at my home was absolute shit, but it was alright when it actually did decide to work. 

It was then that I instantly realized that I didn't get my mum, or Gemma anything for Christmas. I cursed under my breathe, picking out some clothes for today since the hot water was also limited here and I did not feeling like getting in a cold shower in the middle of winter.

Most Christmas' my family would usually not get me anything and I was perfectly okay with that. Our money was limited and we could hardly afford what we had now, I always managed to get them something small though, but this year it slipped my mind. I would have to make it up to them.

I got dressed, combing my hair back how I usually been doing it the last few months. Louis soon returned, fully clothed this time. I thought about when he came in the room last night with only a towel hanging on his hips, and immediately erased the thoughts from my mind, not wanting to get too excited from the memories.

"Merry Christmas!" I told him, turning to him and smiling brightly at him. Louis giggled, pushing the wet strands of hair off his forehead. "Merry Christmas, Haz." He smiled, standing on his tip toes to kiss me. I instantly melted into him, kissing him back just as passionately.

"Come out to the living room with me." He told me, grabbing onto my hand. "I'll be out there in a second, alright?" I replied. He nodded, letting go of my hand and leaving the room.

I grabbed my coat that was laying across my desk, burying my hand in the pocket to grab the box that held Louis' gift. 

I hid it behind my back as I walked into the living room, seeing my mum, Gemma, and Louis all crowded around the small Christmas tree we had. It wasn't anything amazing, but it was seasonal I guess.

I walked over to them, sitting down between Gemma and Louis. "Merry Christmas." I told everyone, a bright smile on my face. "Merry Christmas!" Gemma said, hugging my side.

"I'm sorry I didn't say this earlier, congratulations on graduating." I told her, smiling. She smiled at me, thanking me.

"We need to get a picture of you two with her graduation outfit on!" My mum told me, which was rewarded from a groan from Gemma. "Go put it on." My mum ushered her. Gemma sighed, but still did so with a smile on her face as she exited the room.

I suddenly remembered the black box that was still held in my hand. I turned to Louis, smiling at him. "What?" Louis asked, looking at me and laughing completely oblivious. "I got you something." I told him, revealing the black box to his sight. Louis gasped a bit, happiness covering his face as I handed him the box.

"I feel so bad, you shouldn't have. I have nothing to give to you." Louis said, sadness glinting in his eyes. "Don't worry about it, no questions. Just open it." I ushered, excited to see his reaction. Louis opened the box, a small gasp coming from his lips as he seen the golden object in the box. I heard another gasp, realizing my mother was watching us, a smile on her face.

Louis latched his arms around me, pulling me down on the ground. I laughed, wrapping my arms around him. "Thank you, thank you." He repeated, sniffling a bit into my neck. "No one has ever done something this nice for me." He beamed, pulling back and looking at the French words that were engraved inside the bracelet that I had gotten him. 

"I'm ready." Gemma said, walking in the room with her cap and gown. My mother squealed, standing up with her old film camera, clearly excited she was able to get a picture of the two of us together.

Gemma came to stand next to me and I draped my hand around her shoulders. Louis watched us as my mom positioned the camera in front of us. "Okay, on three." She told me. "One... two..." She started. At the last second I stuck my tongue out, making a face as the flash went off. "Cmon Harry, can't we have one nice photo where you aren't making a face?" My mum asked, laughing as she grabbed the photograph from the film camera. I laughed as she flicked the photograph back and forth, getting the ink to dry while it developed.

"Harry, would you mind walking into town to buy some eggs for dinner tonight? I realized this morning that we were out." She asked me. I nodded. "Of course. Louis, you want to come?" I asked, looking over to him to see the golden bracelet around his wrist which made my heart happy. Louis nodded, standing up from the ground. 

Louis grabbed his coat from the coat hanger and slid on his shoes as I did the same, grabbing a different coat from the coat hanger since I didn't really feel like going back to the bedroom to get the one I wore previously yesterday.

We left my home, walking down side by side to the village's shop where they sold food. The walk was quiet, enjoying each other's presence. After about five minutes though Louis broke the silence. "Thank you. I still can't believe you would do this for me." Louis told me, smiling up to me, his eyes crinkling as he did so. "You're welcome babe, anything for you." I told him, looking down to see Louis blushing at the name I just called him.

We eventually got to the shop and walked in, the bell going off that hung at the top of the door. I walked over to a basket where fresh eggs lied over a hunk of ice to keep them cool. I grabbed some, putting them into a styrofoam container.

"Louis?" I heard a feminine voice ask. I turned around to find the source of the voice.

"Louis!" The brunette haired women said again, walking over to my Louis. Louis turned around, a terrified expression engulfing his face. 

"Mum?" Louis asked, his eyes widening.


	14. Trouble

Louis' Point of View

I looked at the stacks of delicious Christmas sweets that surrounded the store as Harry went to the eggs. I smiled to myself, shoving my hands in my pockets. 

"Louis?" I heard a feminine voice say. My stomach dropped, I knew the sound of that voice anywhere, even after all those years without hearing it.

"Louis!" The voice was louder as she got closer to me. I spun around, seeing my mother in front of me. "Mum?" I said, disbelief clear in my voice as my eyes widened, taking in the sight in front of me. 

"What're you doing here?" I spat at her, still not believing it. I couldn't even pay attention to Harry who was just feet away from us. My mum smiled at me, "I was just running around in town, wow, look at you!" She beamed, looking me up and down. "You've grown so much!" She told me. I shook my head, not buying into her shit. Not after what she's done to me.

"Woah, what's going on?" Harry asked, walking over to us, his eyebrows furrowed clearly confused on the current situation. "Is this your friend?" My mum smiled at me. "Yeah, he's a good friend of mine. This is Harry." I introduced, forcing a smile on my face. My heart was pounding and I didn't want to look over to see Harry after I basically just called him my friend.

"It's nice to meet you, Harry. For a second I thought you guys were together for a second, that would've been a disgrace." She laughed like it was no big deal. I was fuming now. I was pissed off at the harsh words that she was saying. Harry didn't say anything, but my mum didn't pay much attention to him. I wanted to get out of this situation, I didn't want to be standing here in front of my pathetic excuse of a mother for kicking me out of the house. I didn't want to cause a scene in front of everyone, I didn't want my mum to tell the whole store that I was gay.

"I'm gonna go pay for these." Harry muttered, a bit harshly, walking over to the register to pay for the eggs he had picked up.

Once Harry was far away enough I turned to my mother. "Really, why are you talking to me right now? You didn't forget, did you?" I said harshly. "Well it's been how long now? Seven years maybe? You've had to change by now. You were just delusional." My mum said, grimacing at the memories of me telling her that I'm gay that is probably swarming through her head.

I couldn't believe what was going on, I didn't know if I should tell her that I was seeing Harry or not. I just wanted this conversation to end and for Harry and I to leave. "So, what have you been doing?" She asked me sweetly after I hadn't replied to her, oblivious to the whole situation. I shrugged my shoulders, I didn't know if I should tell her about me enrolling into the armed forces or not. 

"Oh come on, haven't you found a girl yet? Have you started a family at all?" My mum beamed, adjusting the grocery basket on her arm as she grinned at me. That's what she wanted from me my whole life. She expected my to grow up and marry a women and give her grandchildren but that wasn't the case. That wasn't going to happen.

"No, actually," I started. "I don't live around here anymore." I added, still not wanting to let her into my life.  "Where are you living then?" My mum said, pressuring to get answers out of me. "Dunkerque." I simply said, not wanting to give away the full story to her. She didn't deserve to know, if she wanted to know then she should have kept me in her life instead of kicking me out.

"I have to go actually." I told her, wanting to just leave so I could get back to Harry. The tension between us was too much right now after all these years of not talking or seeing each other. She nodded, smiling at me. "I'll see you around then." She told me, going in for a hug that I quickly dodged. I was disgusted right now and I just wanted to go home with Harry.

After she finally left I let out a deep breath I didn't know I was holding. I looked to see Harry standing outside of the shop waiting for me, the brown bag being held in his arms. I walked out the door, feeling a heavy weight on my shoulders after what just happened moments ago. "I'm sorry about that." I told him, chuckling a bit to try and lift up the mood.  Harry didn't say anything but continued to walk down the graveled dirt road. 

"Are you alright?" I asked him, not being able to stand the quietness that was coming from him. "Yes, fine." He said flatly, darting his eyes away from me. "Stop lying, tell me what's wrong." I begged, completely oblivious to why he was upset. 

"It's nothing, friend." Harry harshly said, emphasizing the word friend and it was then that I remembered how I referred to him to my mother. "You know I didn't mean it like that." I said softly, feeling guilty for what I said but I didn't have a choice.

"It's not that you called me it, it's how you said it. You didn't even give it a second thought when you told her. And to let her say those things about us? Do I even matter at all about you? Did last night mean anything? You didn't even stop her from saying those things." Harry said, now looking at me, his eyes feeling up with tears. "I'm sorry, Harry. Don't let this ruin our Christmas, please." I pleaded, frowning and stopping to stand in front of him. This morning was going so well and that's how I wanted the rest of the day to go. 

"It just hurts, I hate how we have to walk around like this, like all we are is friends." Harry admitted to me and I knew exactly what he meant. We were only able to be ourselves behind closed doors and would have to put up an act out in public. "I know it's hard, but I want to do it for us." I said softly, looking up at him. He had the advantage of being a few inches taller than I was. 

"Just forget about what happened. I was scared too, Harry. I didn't expect to see her here in Holmes Chapel, I don't even really know why she was even here in the first place." I told him sincerely, hoping to make him feel better. 

Harry nodded, sighing. "Let's go home." He finally said after a moment. I followed him down the road, feeling like he wasn't going to let this go. 

\----

"Did you get the eggs?" Harry's mum asked as we walked through the door. He nodded, handing her the brown paper bag. "Thank you, sweety." She told him, rewarding him with a kiss on the cheek as she took the bag from him. 

"I'm gonna go start dinner." She said, walking out of the room to the kitchen.

After she finally left the room I turned to Harry. "You're not mad at me, are you?" I asked him, pulling my coat off of myself. Harry shook his head, turning to walk closer to me. "Of course I'm not, I'm just stressed out." He admitted, a small frown on his lips. 

"I'm sorry." I told him for what felt like the hundredth time today. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer to me. Harry wrapped his hands around my waist, resting his head on top of mine. "It's alright." He said softly. 

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, Harry sighed, letting go of me. "I'll get it." He told me, walking to the door to open it.

Harry opened it to see a man standing there, one who I recognized almost instantly. It was our Commander-in-Chief.

"What's going on?" Harry asked, just as confused as I was. "May I come in?" He asked. Harry nodded, stepping aside with a worried expression on his face. 

Harry's mum came in the room, confusion written all over her face. "What's going on?" She asked, repeating the same words Harry had said moments ago.

The Commander-in-Chief took a deep breath. He was all polished up in his uniform with his grey hair slicked back under his cap. He was an older man, late fifties probably.

"There has been a callback." He started, which confused me ever more. "What callback?" I asked. 

"All federal troops are to be located back to Dunkerque, France by tonight. The car outside is waiting for you guys, you have time to pack up your things. We must leave immediately." Chief said with an apologetic look on his face.

I gasped, not believing this. We still had another week here, I wasn't ready to go back. Not yet. 

I looked over to Harry, his mouth wide open in disbelief. 

 


	15. Last Time

Harry's Point of View

I shook my head, I couldn't believe this. It was too early to go back, especially on Christmas. I looked over to my mum, I was at a lost of words as I seen her stand there, disbelief written all over her face and tears appearing at the rims of her eyes.

"I'd start packing my stuff now if we're gonna get out of here. More details will be delivered to you when you arrive." Our Chief said before turning around sharply and walking out the door.

I turned to Louis to see his eyes widened and mouth agape. "You can't go now." My mum mumbled, heartbroken by the sudden news.

"What's going on?" Gemma said just now walking into the room with a confused expression on her face. "Louis and I have to leave." I finally said, my tone not coming out as strong as I wanted it to. 

"What, why?" Gemma asked, her eyebrows raised up. Louis just shrugged, neither of us knew the answer. "We don't know, we're gonna get more details when we get there. For now we know just as much as you do." Louis said softly, his lip in between his teeth.

"We better start packing up then." I said flatly, turning to go to my bedroom with Louis closely following. I got my luggage and threw it on my bed, stuffing random articles of clothes that were thrown across the room.

I was pissed off. I couldn't believe this, this whole two weeks was supposed to be a good time, and we only get a few days out of it. I don't even know when I'd get to see my mum again. I felt Louis place his hands on my sides. "I'm sorry." He said softly.

"It's not your fault." I told him, my back still faced to him as I shoved a shirt in my bag before zipping it up and turning to him. 

The air was silent for a few minutes, all I could hear was the talking of my sister and Gemma from the other room. I stood there, looking down at my luggage as Louis stood there hugging me from behind. I felt my eyes start to burn, but I pushed them away and the feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Louis let go of me and I was struck with the cold air as his warmth left my body. He threw his luggage on my bed next to mine, folding his clothes and stacking them in his luggage much more neater than I had. 

I wanted the next week to be able to hold Louis against me in bed, and to be able to kiss him whenever I wanted in my home. Now we would have to put up an act in front of everyone and I would have to distant myself from Louis again, only pretending that we were friends.

I thought back to earlier today when Louis referred to us as friends to his mum. It did hurt honestly, and the cruel words his mum said about stung as well. But I understood why Louis referred to us that way, and I had to push away the words and accept that he did it for us. It made me feel sad that we couldn't be who we really are in front of the public.

Louis zipped up his luggage, breaking me out of my thoughts. "We better get going." He told me, lifting his suitcase off my bed. "Wait." I told him.

Louis turned to me and I cupped his cheeks, pressing my lips against his for the last time in God knows how long. Louis was surprised by my sudden actions, but wrapped his arms around me, kissing me back. I loved the feeling this brought me. 

I brought Louis closer up against me, closing the proximity between us as he molded into me. After a minute though I pulled away, knowing that the minutes were passing and we had to leave. 

Louis smiled softly at me, pecking me on the lips one last time before we pulled apart completely and took our luggage back to the living room where I would have to say my goodbyes to my sister and mum.

I walked in the room to see my mum with a tear stained face and Gemma not looking any better. I took my mum into my embrace, wrapping my arms around her. The feeling felt familiar from when I said goodbye to her for the first time before I left to get on Train 43. 

"I'll still continue to write you everyday, I promise." I promised her, kissing the top of her head. She nodded, sniffling a bit. "I'm sorry this had to happen." I said, my words muffled by her hair but they were still audible. I pulled away from her and embraced Gemma, who hugged me so tightly it was as if my lungs were going to deflate from the lack of air but at this moment I didn't mind at all.

"I'll see you later, sis." I told her, my hand rubbing her back gently. "Be careful." She told, pulling from me to look up at my face. I nodded to her, smiling a bit. "I will." I assured her. 

"It was nice meeting you guys." Louis said softly, appearing next to me. My mum smiled and hugged him the same she did to me just moments ago. "You're welcome here anytime." She told him which made me smile. Louis hugged me, his eyes crinkling as he did so. "Thank you." He told her as they pulled apart. 

"I hope I get to see you again." Gemma kindly said. Louis smiled at her. "I hope I get to see you guys again soon." He said sweetly.

We heard a car honk outside, signaling that our time was almost up. I picked up my luggage, taking a deep breath trying to control myself. "I love you." I told my sister and mum as I pulled on my coat, Louis copying my actions.

Louis and I left my home to go outside just to be met by the cold air. I shivered as we walked outside. Louis and I got into the car after putting our luggages in the trunk and I looked out the window, seeing my mum and Gemma standing there sadly with tears falling down their face. 

I could feel Louis' leg brush up against mine and it took everything in me not to grab his hand and hold it. 

The ignition to the car started as our driver started to pull out of my driveway. My stomach churned as I looked out the window, not knowing if this was my last time seeing my home again or not.


	16. Distressed

Four months.

It has been four months since I have seen my family and my home. Four months since Louis and I had been forced to leave Holmes Chapel. 

It is now April 4th, 1940. Our training has gotten more rigorous as each day has passed leaving all of us exhausted by the end of the day. We are to be stationed in the Army Camps by the end of May, and the thought of it terrifies me as each day passes on. The days are long and tough, and it feels as if there's a huge weight on my shoulders. There is no time to relax, we train from dawn to dusk with only our meal breaks in between. 

The reason why we were to be stationed back at Dunkerque on December 25th was because our lack of allies. Commander-in-Chief told us that because of the lack of allies we had that more vigorous training would have to be done. Everyone who was back at home had to come back that day took and of course no one was particularly happy about it.

I haven't had any physical contact with Louis since and it has been killing me. I craved to touch him and to feel his lips on mine but we were constantly around people every hour of the day and it seemed as if it was impossible just to feel his hand against mine. What has been breaking my heart even more was that Louis has been distant these last few weeks. I didn't really know why but I had a clue that it was because of the lack of affection. 

Louis and I only get the chance to talk during our meals and before and after training. It's been ripping us apart and I wanted to fix it so bad but I didn't know how to. I didn't want to risk getting caught, in fear that Louis or I would get caught again like last year, or that if we did get caught that something far worse would happen to us since we have already been caught once.

Every single day has been hard on not only Louis and I but all of us. I felt emotionally and physically exhausted. I was unhappy, I wanted things to return back the way they were. I wanted to have more freedom. I was worn out.

Louis and I stood in line waiting to get our dinner. Dinner had been pushed back two hours than what it was before since we have to get right back to training afterwards.

I followed Louis to our regular lunch table that we always sat at with Nicholas and Jayden. We were greeted by exhausted smiles when we arrived. "Hey." Jayden greeted flatly, shoving a mouthful of spaghetti in his mouth while his eyes seemed to drop down from the lack of sleep we had.

I sat down across from the two with Louis next to me. I wasn't even hungry, I just wanted to sleep. The exhaustion that I've been feeling these last four months has ruined my appetite. 

"What's going on?" I asked, pushing around the spaghetti on my tray. "Chief mentioned something about we're going to do more drills." Nicholas told us. I groaned, I hated drills. 

Drills were when we were to be expected to gather in a formation and react to different commands from our commanders and where military discipline is enhanced by the drill. It was really just a waste of time. Usually drills only lasted an hour and would be followed up by more vigorous training such as wall climbing, field exercises and hand-to-hand combat.

"I wish we could get a day off." Louis finally said, pushing his hair back off his forehead as he ate. Louis always looked so good, and our knees were barely just touching each other. I wanted to touch him so bad. I just wanted to feel the warmth of his lips on mine. It's been far too long.

"Agreed. It's so exhausting, I really just want a day to relax." Nicholas said, snapping me out of my thoughts and making me turn my eyes away from Louis to look at Nicholas.

"Why aren't you eating, Harry?" Louis asked softly, looking down at my still full plate. "I'm not very hungry." I shrugged, brushing it off. Louis sighed, nodding. I think he could tell that something was wrong though. 

The rest of dinner was quiet, I ended up not eating much. I wanted this day to be over with so I could go to sleep. After everyone was done eating we went back to our various training courses with our instructors.

The whole time it felt as if I might fall over. I've never felt so exhausted in my life before. This was the same thing we did every day, no breaks, no days off. The only rest I would get is the seven hours of sleep I managed to get every night after washing up and getting ready for bed. It was complete hell, but the reason behind all of this made me keep going.

The loud authority in our instructors voice is what kept me sane as I listened to his loud instructions. It wouldn't be long until we was out of here annihilating and obliterating everything in our path. 

"Harry?" Someone said, wiping me out of my thoughts. I had no motivation in me to look over to see who the voice was calling out for me repeatedly. "Harry!" The voice said again. Specks of black enclosed my vision, and the voice seemed like it was father away with each second. 

I blinked a couple times, trying to come out of this haze I was currently in. "Yeah, yeah." I managed to say, running my hands over my face. 

"Are you okay?" The voice asked, I turn to see Nicholas next to me with a concerned expression on his face, his eyebrows furrowed looking at me. I nodded, adjusting the bag on my back. "Fine." I said flatly, pushing my hair out of my fave so it would stay back on my head. 

"Don't be lying to me now, if you want you can sit out. Make an excuse." He said knowing that wouldn't even work out since the instructor wouldn't allow it. "I'm fine," I repeated, straightening myself up a bit. "I'm just tired." I added. He nodded, slapping me on the shoulder before walking away.

I looked over to see Louis on the opposite side of the group, looking at me with worry engraved on his face. I forced a reassuring smile to him, which he returned before looking back over to our instructor. 

"... and after that you will report back to me, do I make myself clear?" Our instructor said. I missed the first part of what he was saying, but it was the same thing every day. I'm sure most people hardly listened by now anyways.

"Sir yes sir!" We all chanted before descending off to the obstacle courses we were required to do each day. I huffed, walking over to the climbing wall. 

I grabbed into the edges, lifting myself up off the ground. I could feel the muscles in my back tense as I did so and my jaw clench down as I lifted myself up more, the weight on my back weighing me down on my already aching muscles.

I concentrated though, pulling myself up higher and higher until I finally reached the top. I swung my leg over, throwing myself over so I could climb back down.

Black dots appeared in my vision again and I stopped myself. I glanced down at the ground, seeing that I was higher up than what I was comfortable with at a time like this. 

My foot slid and it took me a moment to regain my balance. My chest was heaving up and down and I could feel the beads of sweat down my neck. I stayed focus, taking another step down.

I squinted my eyes shut, trying to gain control of the situation. My body was exhausted, it ached, and I could feel the sweat on my palms start to form. 

My body locked in place, and my grip loosened. My heart plummeted as I slipped off the wall, falling down ten yards to the ground.


	17. Anxiety

Louis' Point of View

I glanced over at Harry to see him talking to Nicholas and a pang of jealousy hit me. I was worried about Harry, he's been so distant lately and he hasn't been looking very well even though he would always reassure me that everything was okay. I miss him so much though, I miss the physical connection that is now not there. 

Harry looked over at me with a forced smile on his face. My stomach twisted in knots, I wanted to know so desperately what was wrong with him. I want to hug him and reassure him that everything would be okay and that he didn't have to worry about anything. But I knew it wasn't that simple. 

I looked back to our instructor, a blush creeping on my face that I had been caught staring at me. No matter how much physical connection we had he still made me happy, and I hope he knows it too. 

I sighed to myself as we walked over to the wall that we had to be climbing. I watched as others climbed up the wall and over, and my eyes darted to Harry climbing up the wall. My eyes squinted a bit at the sun that was setting. I could see the way he had his jaw set in place and his eyebrows furrowed together.

"Don't be looking to long, Tomlinson." Jayden said as he stood next to me. I immediately looked away, my heart pounding in my chest that I had been caught.

"I- What-" I stuttered before he cut me off. "I'm just messing with you." He laughed before taking a big yawn and slapping me on the shoulder. I chuckled nervously a bit, playing it off. 

"Hey, what's going on?" Jayden suddenly asked, squinting over to the group that had formed on the other side of the wall. I shrugged, walking over to see what had happened with Jayden following behind me. 

"Harry, are you alright? Come on, talk to me!" Someone said through the crowd. My heart plummeted in my chest as I was now rushing and pushing through the small crowd to get to Harry.

I seen Harry lying on the ground on his back, barely even awake. I dropped to my knees on the opposite side of where the other was trying to get him to talk. "Harry, Harry, are you alright?" I panicked, wanting to touch him so bad but knew I couldn't the way I wanted to. 

Harry's eyes squinted up to me through the beating sun and sweat trickled down his forehead. Cautiously I pushed back the strands of hair over his face as I hovered over him to make sure he was alright. Harry said nothing to me, and I could tell that he needed medical attention immediately the way he couldn't respond. He looked frail, almost weak under my touch as I looked back down at him.

"Harry, what's wrong? Let me make it better." I panicked, noticing how he was starting to fall unconscious when he didn't reply back. I quickly took off my bag, opening up and rummaging through it for the water bottle I had. I quickly found it and took off the lid, holding the water bottle up to his mouth with my shaking hands to try and get him to drink some of it.

His eyelids hovered over his green eyes as he tried to do so but I knew he was far too weak. "We need to get him to the infirmary." I suddenly said with panic still clear in my voice. I wanted to take away whatever Harry was feeling.

"That's enough for today then,"Our instructor said. "We'll call it quits for the night, you may all go back to your bunks." He finished. I heard a couple of happy voices since he let us finish early but I was nervous for Harry. "Make sure you get this lad to the infirmary." He instructed. Nicholas and Jayden stepped in, helping the almost unconscious Harry up off his feet. 

They slung his arms over his shoulder and walked him towards where the infirmary was as Harry stumbled between them. I stayed closely behind ready to give my help in case it was needed. 

Harry's Point of View

Voices. All I heard was voices as I lied there helpless. I couldn't process anything that was going on but I felt hot, tired, and like I couldn't move. I felt something touch my lips and a cool liquid rush through my dry mouth but I couldn't bring it in me to react. The voices seemed far away, but I could feel hands on me as if they were right there next to me.

I felt soft hands on my forehead. The sun beat down on me and all I wanted was to get up and find a shady area. I couldn't make out any of the voices, but I could make out the soft voice that seemed miles away from me. Louis. I could tell he was right there next to me. His hands on my forehead and his voice traveling through my ears, it was unmistakable. 

More voices could be heard but I still could not make out what they were saying. It was driving me crazy. It felt as if mentally I was not here, but physically I was. I could feel everything. I could feel my aching head, my hot skin, the sweat clinging to the back of my neck, the sun as it burned my skin. I could feel everything around me, but not make out anything around me. 

I wanted to call out and reassure everyone that I was alright, that I didn't need anyone's help and that I could take care of myself. Though I suddenly felt two arms grip underneath mine to pull me up. I could feel myself stumble along the dirt ground as my eyes fought to stay open. My feet dragged along as whoever was on my sides tried to keep me up and steady. I had no clue where I was going, but I could tell I didn't really care either.

My eyelids opened and closed as the familiar black pecks formed in my vision. I didn't like not being in control of myself, and it was killing me. The black seemed to devour me whole when the last thing I remember was the mumbling of Louis' reassuring voice. 

\----

I felt a warmness through my body as I felt something in my hand. I couldn't make out what it was. I could feel the soft sheets under me as I struggled to open my eyes. Where was I? The bunks? How long have I been asleep? These were all questions I wanted answers to, but it felt as if my eyes and mouth were glued shut.

I then felt something warm on my forehead, and it felt like someone was touching me. That's what I felt, I felt a hand in my own and a hand on my forehead pushing my hair out of my face that was just tickling the brow bone. I heard no voices though I knew who was next to me. 

It seemed like each minute felt like hours as time ticked away. I could feel light burning against my eyelids and the bright colors that formed with it. I felt my eyebrows furrow together as I tried again to open my eyes. I squinted my eyes open, adjusting the light that welcomed them. What day was it? I wondered how long I lied here since there was so much light around me. As I opened my eyes more I could make out the blur of lit candles around the cold, brick room. I could see the blurs of white objects scattered around the room. 

As my eyes adjusted to my surroundings I noticed that those white objects were other makeshift beds. I knew where I was, I was in the infirmary. Memories of when I snuck in the infirmary many months ago clouded my mind and I couldn't help the flip of my stomach and the pounding of my heart as I thought about it. Though it was months ago it seemed as if it was a lifetime ago.

I slowly turned my head to my left to see Louis sitting there, half asleep. I looked down to see his hand intertwined with mine, I could feel butterflies erupt in the pit of my stomach.

I shifted in bed, wincing at the aching pain that came with it. Louis suddenly jolted away, eyes wide as he seen me lying there with my eyes open. "You're awake." He beamed, sitting up and moving closer to me. "How long have I been out?" I managed to say, my voice raspy and croaky. Louis suddenly grabbed the glass that was on the table between us and gently held it up to my lips. I obliged as I sipped the water, feeling the cool liquid run down my burning throat.

I leaned back into the soft cushion, my chest heaving up and down. "About a day." Louis finally said as he sat the glass back down on the table. "What happened?" I asked, too many questions burning through my mind. I couldn't remember much of what happened.

"You fell off the wall," Louis said, his hand never leaving mine as he ran his thumb along it. The candles radiated his skin and made it seem like he was glowing. "You were dehydrated, and they might think you have some type of mentality problem." He finished, his lips forming into a frown on his face as looked at me.

"Mentality problem?" I questioned, "Why would they think that?" I asked. "Have you been eating?" Louis asked softly, him and I both knew the answer to this. I couldn't eat much at all. I admitted to myself that I wasn't, I couldn't. The nerves that I held and the exhaustion that clouded my body was enough to make me not want to do anything at all. I stayed quiet and looked at the wall in front of me, my silence confirming the answer.

"They think you have an anxiety disorder." Louis finally said, his hand squeezing mine. I could feel him so close to me, and I wanted him closer than ever. "You need to eat, Haz." Louis said, desperation clear in his voice. I nodded, "I will." I mumbled, not looking at him. Louis sighed, leaning back in his chair.

"What time is it?" I asked him, finally looking at him and taking in his appearance. His eyes were tired, the noticeable circles were formed under his eyes from lack of sleep. "23:14" he told me, looking over on the wall. I nodded, not saying anything else.

Louis' hand was placed again on my forehead as he scooted the chair closer to the edge of the bed, it creaking as he did so. "I want to take this away from you," he mumbled, his thumb gliding over my temple. His eyes burned into mine, and my stomach started to do flip flops. I haven't had this much physical contact with him in months, and my lips were burning to be on his. 

"Take it away from me then." I told him, his hand finding his way into my hair. Louis' face neared mine and my heart pounded against my chest. I couldn't take it any longer as I lifted my head up the last inch to meet his, my lips molding perfectly into his like they had that Christmas night. Louis didn't do anything to intense the kiss, but he kissed me softly back, his littler lips fitting perfectly into mine as a puzzle piece. I could feel the tingles throughout my body, something that only Louis could do to me.


	18. Anguish

"Just make sure you're eating and keeping yourself hydrated, we don't want another incident again." The nurse said, eyeing me as she held her clipboard close to her. I nodded, not saying anything. "You've been eating, right?" The tall slim girl questioned, raising an eyebrow. "Yes." I finally said.

"No." Louis told her. I rolled my eyes, I want to get out of this situation. The nurse sighed and nodded, lips pressed together, she's never questioned why Louis has been here and I was thankful for that, not wanting to give her an excuse on why he is. But really, Louis' only been here because he cares, one of the great qualities about him. 

"Okay, well I'll be giving you a medication that should help you regain your strength and reduce the anxiety you've been having." I huffed in annoyance, sitting up in the makeshift bed with the white duvet over my legs. I didn't believe I had some type of anxiety disorder, I was simply just exhausted and over worked. 

"Okay, thank you." Louis finally said, answering the nurse for me. She nodded, a small smile curling up on her lips as she eyed Louis and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Anytime, make sure you take your medication every morning and night with food." She told me and I responded with a nod. 

I could feel my stomach churn as I watched her eye Louis, jealousy coursing through me. But it didn't matter, Louis was gay, and I love Louis. I just hope he loves me back. I had nothing to worry about, right? 

"You're free to go whenever, Chief said that you are to get back to training tomorrow and rest up the remainder of the day." The brunette said, setting the small bottle of pills on the cherry wood table beside me. "Thank you." Louis said softly, smiling up to her. She just nodded, a small blush going over her face as she walked away, hips swaying slightly back and forth.

I huffed in annoyance for what seemed like the hundredth time as I sat up from my bed, swinging my legs off of it and leaning down to put on my boots and lace them up. "Are you feeling alright?" Louis said softly, his eyes on me burning through me. I nodded sharply, fidgeting with the laces before successfully tying them and looking up to Louis. 

"Don't you have to get back to training?" I asked, noticing the sunlight piercing through the glass windows. Louis shrugged, standing up and adjusting the collar around his neck. "I did this morning, it's nearly afternoon now, I want to make sure you're okay though." 

"I'm fine." I stood up along with Louis, grabbing the small bottle that held the medication in my hand and ruffling my hand through the short strands of hair on my head. 

\---

"You have to eat something." Louis begged me, holding the tray of food he had brought to my bunk where I've lied for the past hours. I ignored him, holding the duvet up around my shoulders as I lied down on my side. "You need to take your medication- bloody hell, it's getting late, Harry." He sternly said, crouching down next to my bunk. I sighed, glancing up at him through the pieces of hair that was on my forehead.

"I'm not hungry." I muttered, ignoring the shout in Louis' frustrated voice. It was true, I was in no way hungry, I had no appetite. "I'll be fine, I'll eat in the morning." I lied through my teeth, adverting my eyes from the older boy's. 

"You're so stubborn, just bloody eat something." Louis groaned, his hand reaching up around the duvet that was bundled around me. I flinched away from him, rolling over so that my back was faced to him. "Just go to bed, Louis." I muttered, ignoring the tray that was next to me on my bed that held a plate full of food and my medication. 

"You're going to be weak for training, Harry. You need to eat something, you need to." Louis pleaded, ignoring the stares that we were getting from our fellow comrades along the large, long room filled with bunks and candles to give the room a glow.

I sighed, finally sitting up, annoyed. "If I eat something will you shut the hell up?!" I snapped, my eyebrows furrowing. Louis flinched at my harsh words, and I instantly regretted them, but didn't say anything more. Louis nodded, his bottom lip sinking into his mouth as he probably chewed on it. 

I huffed, taking the tray from his hands and putting it on my lap, staring at the now cold pot roast and vegetables that was on the white porcelain plate. Louis watched me as I poked and prodded with the food, shoving some in my mouth without looking at him. I could feel his eyes burning through the side of my head though. 

I ate the last bits on the plate, feeling as if I could throw up any moment, but I kept it down. I grabbed the small glass of water, stuffing the medication in my mouth and taking a gulp of the water before moving the dishes off my bed, laying back down on my bed and pulling the duvet back over me.

"Thank you." Louis muttered, grabbing the dishes from me and setting them on the wooden table next to our bunks that also sat a candle. We would take them back in the morning. 

I watched as Louis gripped the collar of his shirt, pulling it over his head in one swift move. I cringed at the faint red marks that scattered over his soft, tan skin. They were certainly getting better, but I feared that they wouldn't go away completely. Lou pulled off his trousers, changing into his night wear. I couldn't ignore the feeling that was in the pit of my stomach as I looked down his tan skin, taking in every inch of him. 

Louis blew out the candle, climbing up on his bunk. Nothing else was said that night, and I couldn't help to blame myself. I know I shouldn't have snapped at Louis, but the feeling that I have right now is making me feel more pitiful than I have ever been. The weight on my shoulders weighing me down as I put my fingers in my mouth, taking the pill out from under my tongue. 

I refused to take these pills. I was alright, I was going to be okay. There was nothing wrong with me besides the fact that I was stubborn, exhausted, and just dehydrated. But sometimes I lie to myself far too much.

That night I felt the wet tears cascading down my face as I listened to the quiet sobs coming above me from my boy.


	19. Bliss

I rolled back and forth in my bunk, desperate for sleep. I've been laying here for hours, unable to doze off. The tears on my face has long since dried up and I could hear the silent breathing of Louis and others around me. I was surrounded by darkness, the only light being presented from the moon that shown through the glass windows that were scattered about on the walls, the stars accompanying it.

I rubbed my eyes, being enveloped in different patterns and colors shown through my eye lids as I did so. It had to be at least 01:00, which meant at this rate I was going to get five hours of sleep if I ever fell asleep. 

I pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth as I thought about the events that happened just hours ago. My heart aches at Louis' expression when I snapped at him, but I couldn't control myself. I wanted to feel good; happy, but I haven't felt alright in a long time. 

I sat up from my bunk, pushing the duvet off of me. The mattress creaked as I sat up and flung my legs off the mattress, the bottoms of my feet being met with the cold ground. I got up, adjusting my eyes to the darkness.

I snuck up onto Louis' bunk, lying myself next to him under the duvet, my chest against his back. I wrapped my arm gently around him, careful not to disturb him and wake him. I nuzzled my face into his neck, shutting my eyes as I breathed in his scent; rose.

Louis stirred in my grip, turning around so his chest was against mine. He pressed his face into my chest, a sigh escaping his pink lips. I could feel the flutter of his lips against my collarbone as he let his lips kiss gently, signs that he was awake. His fists clenched my shirt, pulling myself to him.

I knew we couldn't stay like this, for when we woke up in the morning people around us might, or probably see. But right now was something that I've been craving for for months now. His body pressed up against mine, his lips leaving butterfly kisses against my porcelain skin. This moment was pure bliss. 

No words were spoken, the only thing being heard was the steady breaths that fell from our lips. Louis tilt his head up to look at me, his hand finding their way to my jaw while the other was tucked behind his head. Our eyes locked, the moon providing the light to where I could meet his blue eyes. 

I broke the proximity between us, gently pushing my lips against his, my hand resting on his hip. Lou pushed his lips against mine, the kiss sweet and slow as I got sudden flashbacks to when we were at my home, the perfect nights we had spent together. 

I was certain my love for him as we pulled away, taking a breath of air as our foreheads touched. I was certain how much I was in love with this man in front of me, and how much I needed him. I couldn't stop myself from placing my hand on the small of his back, pressing him against me as I craved him so much. 

His body fit perfectly with mine as his arm swung around me and he nuzzled his face in my neck, a sigh escaping his lips. I placed a kiss on his jaw, letting it linger there for a moment or two. My fingers played with the ends of his hair which was now growing longer, but I wasn't complaining. 

"What have you done to me?" I whispered in the crook of his neck, making sure it was only loud enough for him to hear. I felt him smile against my neck as he pulled back, blue eyes meeting green. I could feel the cold medal against my ear from the bracelet I had bought him and that he still wore all these months later as he toyed with my hair, the curls being evident in it now since it was much longer than the first day I arrived here, but still short nevertheless.

Louis looked at me through his sleepy eyes, long eyelashes fluttering. "You make everything easier, darling," I added, blushing a bit at the sudden pet name I gave him. Louis beamed, his thumb grazing over my jaw line. I loved the affection we were giving each other, wishing it could be like this everyday. 

"I cannot fathom how much you mean to me, Harry Styles." Louis mumbled, our faces being only inches apart. I could feel myself smile, my cheeks starting to hurt. "Get some sleep," I said, kissing his forehead once. Louis nodded, his tired eyes watching me as I untangled our limbs and crawled out of his embrace. 

I was met with the cold air as I watched his eyelids flutter close and sleep take over him. I crawled back into my bunk, missing his arms that were just wrapped around me. I couldn't wipe the smile on my face as I pulled the duvet up around my shoulders, lying on my side. I closed my eyes, finally being enveloped in the darkness as I fell asleep. 

 


	20. Abyss

Louis' Point of View

May 9th, 1940 

"Harry, talk to me." I begged, crouching down in front of him. His face looked lifeless, bruised bags under his eyes and a frown on his pink, chapped lips. 

It's been two weeks since we've been out of the infirmary, and the only thing that kept me sane and knew Harry was still himself was that night after when he had snuck into my bunk in the middle of the night. I don't know what was wrong with him, or how I could fix him. 

Granted we have been worked to death, and there's been injuries here and there, all minor of course, but something just snapped in Harry. The morning after he snuck up into my bunk it was like he had changed. He hasn't shown any affection and his used to be green eyes were now dull and dark, the life being taken away from them.

It was now May 9th and it was coming soon that we would be out in the trenches. Each day came and went, and each day my nerves seemed to get worse and the weight on my shoulders seemed to get heavier. 

Now I crouched here, in front of him as his eyes pierced through mine, letting no emotions travel along his face. I've never seen him like this and I wanted to take whatever he was feeling away.

The only signs of improvement that I've noticed is that he managed to eat and keep himself dehydrated, after lots of begging and of course the stubbornness that came with it from Harry, but I was thankful because if he wasn't eating or drinking he would mostly likely end up starving himself to death and injuring himself further during training, and I think he seemed to understand that after awhile.

His words have been limited though the past days, only answering to what he needed to. I've been making Harry take his medication, but the medication didn't seem to help at all. Nothing has changed or improved in his mental state besides the fact that he is practically mute, ignoring anything and everything in his way. It was as if he was just ticking away, counting down the seconds until he finally broke down. 

My eyebrows furrowed as I stared him down. His bottom lip seemed to pout out a bit and his shoulders were slumped forward as he sat on the edge of his bed. "Harry," I begged, my voice coming out as a whine. I wanted him to say anything to me, anything at all. I wanted to know if my Harry was still in there, because I didn't like this Harry that has seemed to come and take over him into oblivion.

My hand gripped his forearm, and I ignored everyone that was around us, getting ready for another nights sleep. I ignored the stares as people came and passed. Everyone knew for the most part what was going on with him, and they all knew that I was his best friend. I was thankful that I was never questioned too much though since I always seemed to be around him, trying to break him out of his shell.

"Haz," I finally whispered. I noticed something flash in his eyes, but I couldn't tell what. Harry was hard to read and it was like he would take his emotions and keep them locked up within him. 

"What do you want me to say?" Harry questioned, his voice soft and quiet, almost coming out a whisper. "Tell me what's going on, Haz, tell me what I need to do to fix you." I pleaded, wanting him to open up to me because I knew bottling up all these emotions weren't good for his mental state and I didn't want anymore damage to come to him.

"I don't need fixing," he huffed, his bottom lip curling inside his mouth as he watched me sit up and sit down next to him on the bed, for the crouching position was starting to come uncomfortable after a few minutes. I turned to him, my leg tucked underneath my other.

"Let me know what's wrong then." I tried, watching as he chewed on the already chapped lip. Harry just shrugged, looking back down at where I previously was moments ago.

"I may not be able to fix your problems, but I can be there with you through them all." I repeated the words from months ago as my heart clenched, remembering the memories that came with that. I shook my head, focusing on the current situation. But I needed to give him the reminder.

Candles were starting to be blown out as our comrades were beginning to go to bed, and some were staying up a bit longer, whispering to each other.

The orange glow from said candles illuminated his face perfectly. "What do you thinks gonna happen?" Harry asked, his hands folded together. I furrowed my eyebrows at the sudden question. "What do you mean?" I asked softly, my voice lowering a bit so I wouldn't disturb others around me.

"After everything, what's gonna happen? What will happen to us?" He asked, his voice raspy and monotoned. I thought about it for a moment, not ever really thinking about it.

What will happen when it's all over? Will I go back home with Harry, will we get to be happy together? Would we get a place of our own? These questions raced through my mind, and I wasn't even sure what Harry wanted for us for our future. I didn't know what would happen to us in the weeks, months to come.

"Nothing will happen to us," I spoke, not really knowing the correct answer for such a sudden question. Though the corners of his lips turned up, the first smile I've seen on him for awhile now and it made my heart flutter just looking at it.

"I certainly hope not." He said, looking up at the surroundings around him before looking towards me. "Will you come home with me?" Harry asked, and my stomach felt like it flipped inside of me. My breathing hitched, and my heart started to speed up. "If we do make it through this." He added with a chuckle.

"I promise I'll protect you, Haz. Nothing will happen to you, or us." I said quietly. "How can you be so sure of things?" Harry whispered. 

"It's the hope that keeps me going," I started. "I hope that we will be okay, and I hope that I will get to come home with you. I hope that we will be happy and that we will have no worries. I just want to be with you, that's all." 

"Nothing ever ends poetically," He whispered, a frown forming on his perfect lips and his head resting on his hands. "I'll tell you one thing though, it's a cruel, cruel world." 

"Don't think so negatively." I frowned, not wanting to hear the sad words that came from him. "It's a negative situation." He retorted, seeming to voice his thoughts which only made me wonder what else went through his head during the day.

I thought about the countless bodies that would soon seem to pile up, recognizable faces that would soon become lifeless. "What have I gotten myself into, Lou?" He whispered, his eyes turning glassy as he snapped me out of my gruesome thoughts.

My thumb quickly reached up this cheek, wiping away the tear that threatened to fall, but tears soon to escape his eyes. Everyone around us seemed to have fallen asleep which I was grateful for, our candle being the only one that was providing light. 

My lips found their way to his cheek. Harry rested his head on my shoulder, his hands vigorously wiping at his face to try and make the tears go away. My heart felt like it has fallen into a black abyss as I watched the broken boy in front of me. I wrapped my arms tightly around him, pulling him close to me. I was thankful to see no faces watching us as I looked around our surrounding. I did blow out the candle though, just to be safe.

Harry broke down in my arms, his quiet sobs being muffled by my shirt as he clenched onto it. The happy boy that I knew at Christmas wasn't here right now. I didn't know what he was feeling, but I didn't stop him from letting it all out. I didn't stop him from crying into the crook of my neck. 

It seemed as if the sobs never stopped as I let my hands trail down his back, whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

How I loved the boy that I cradled in my arms. The light in my life couldn't seem to find the light in himself as his quiet sobs turned into heavy pants against my neck and he held himself closer to me, his eyelashes tickling my skin, trying to blink away the tears. My broken boy.


	21. Inclination

Warning: Sexual Content 

Harry's Point of View

My eyelids fluttered open and the space next to me was only accompanied by a pillow. I frowned a bit, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. I hadn't realized I fell asleep and I wasn't sure what time it was either. The sky was still pitch black with only the moon and stars giving light. 

I ran my hands through my hair which felt slightly oily since I did not have the motivation to shower last night. I frowned, deciding that I could probably use a shower.

That was the only advantage we got, besides being able to use the restroom whenever during the night. We were allowed to wake up as early as we wanted to take a shower since a lot of times we were too exhausted and worn out after a days training. 

I got up quietly, the bed squeaking as I did so. I rummaged through my luggage trying to feel for clean clothes in the dark. After successfully doing so I quietly walked out of the bunks and down the long brick hallways finding the showers. The showers was the only place where there was electricity but I was thankful for that.

I walked in, the light already being turned on. I furrowed my eyebrows wondering who else could be in here as I heard the trickle of water streaming. I walked over to the showers that were separated by curtains. I then seen the tan skin that I came all too familiar with peek behind a curtain.

I jumped a bit, not expecting Louis to be in here for I thought he crawled out of my bunk to move to his in fear we would get caught.

"Oops." I stammered, my breath being taken away from his wet hair clinging to his face and the beads of water that slid down his tan skin.

"Hi." Louis grinned, watching me as I pulled my shirt over my head. "What're you doing here so late? Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Louis asked, his tone soft and sweet. "I could say the same to you," I chuckled, pulling off my trousers. I was comfortable around Louis so it didn't bother me too much, but my heart was beating against my chest as I watched him come out from behind the curtain.

My breathing picked up, his tan body walking over to me that was soaking. Thoughts of Christmas Eve came back and I felt the tingles throughout my body when his arms wrapped around my wrist, pulling me with him towards the shower.

Louis giggled as his hands fiddled with the curtain to close it. His hands moved to my waist as he pulled himself closer to me, the proximity between us closing as his torso collided with mine. My hands found their way to his neck, the other gripping his waist.

The only thing separating our bodies was the boxers that clang to my legs (that were starting to feel a bit too tight now) from how soaked they were now.

I fluttered my lips over his, pressing them softly against his. He returned the kiss, turning his head a bit to deepen it. "Give me love," he whined against my lips, his hands reaching up to brush my soaked hair out of my face.

My arms tightened around his torso and I ducked my lips underneath his jaw line, pressing kisses against it. Louis shivered against me and he tilted his head back so I could get better contact. I nipped at the soft skin under his ears and was pleased to hear a soft moan escape his lips.

"Be quiet now, you wouldn't want to wake everyone," I whispered in his ear, my voice raspy and laced with lust. Louis barely nodded before his hands founds their way down my torso gradually getting lower. I bit my lip when he slid his hand in my boxers and he grabbed my length in his hands.

I tilted my head back against the wall when his hands started pumping me teasingly slow. A moan escaped my lips, louder than what I would have liked it. Louis laughed, "Be quiet now," he mocked before grabbing the hem of my boxers and sliding them down my thighs. 

He bent down on his knees while pumping my erected length and then sliding his tongue over the tip. My fists clenched as I tried to keep my moans quiet. 

He wrapped his lips around the tip and my hands found their way down to his hair. A moan escaped my lips that I couldn't hold back when he took more of me in his mouth, bobbing his head back and forth and looking up at me through his eyelashes. 

I was surprised when he was able to take my whole length in his mouth, gagging against me. "Shi- Fuck, Louis." I moaned, my words coming out in pants as he took his mouth off of me and kicked down my shaft. His hands pumped around me, his speed going a bit faster with each second that passed.

My hands gripped on his hair and I could feel myself coming close. His hands went even faster and with a last muffled groan I let myself release in his mouth. Before I knew it Louis was back on his feet and he nipped and bit on my neck. "Such a good boy for me, yea?" He whispered in my ear. 

I groaned in response, coming down from my high. "Bend over." Louis commanded quietly in my ear. The way he was in control over my body turned me on so much. I obeyed, my hands pressing against the wall. 

My eyes clenched shut as he teased my whole with his dick before sticking the tip it. A loud moan started to come from me before I quickly put my hand over my mouth to try and stop myself before we were caught. 

He pressed himself more inside of me and the familiar feeling came in my stomach again. "Ah god, Harry," Louis moaned, pressing himself further inside of me. The feeling Louis was giving me felt so good as he slowly thrusted in and out of me, letting me adjust against him.

He gripped my ass, the other hand finding my torso and his thrusts became more frequent and faster. I was shaking underneath him and I could feel myself coming close to the second time tonight. "Fuck, I'm close, Haz, shi-" his breathing was heavy, each thrust coming much more faster as he pounded into me. 

With one last thrust I felt him come into me and I moaned, throwing my head back as I came with him. Louis rode out his high, his thrusts sloppy and wet. He then pulled out of me and I could feel my hands shaking as he pulled me up and wrapped his arms around me.

The water was still beating down on us, the water mixing with the sweat the I felt. "God, you're so perfect." He whispered against my neck, leaving soft kisses against it. I could feel his heart beating against his chest when I let my hands roam up to his neck.

"Harry?" Louis finally said after a few moments, looking up at me. I looked down at his piercing blue eyes that were framed with wet eyelashes. "Hmm?" I hummed, toying with the ends of his hair. 

"I-" he stopped himself before pulling his bottom lip in his mouth. "What is it?" I asked softly, my fingers trailing up and down his waist. Louis sighed and I could see something flash in his eyes. "I love you, Harry." 

My breathing picked up as I processed the words I've been longing to hear from him. "You do?" I asked as a grin broke out on my face. Louis nodded shyly, his eyes adverting away from mine.

I took my fingers and placed them on his chin before turning him to me and pressing my lips softly against his. "God, you don't know how long I've been waiting for this." I said against his lips, my hands cupping his cheek. I pulled away a little bit to rest my forehead against his. "I love you, Louis." I whispered, my thumb gently tracing patterns on his cheek. Louis broke out in giggles, a big smile on his face.

We stood there for a few moments, holding each other and whispering sweet nothings. "Let's get you washed up." Louis finally said, his voice tired. I nodded, pressing one final kiss to his forehead.


	22. Eclipse

I lied there cuddled up next to Louis with the blankets tight against us. I placed soft kisses on the back of his neck and I could almost feel him smile. He turned in my grip so he could fully face me. I could tell he was sleepy and so was I. These were the rare moments that I loved to spend with him. Moments like these never came during the day. We held all our secrets in the night. 

"What are we going to do after?" Louis whispered. His voice was barely audible but due to the proximity between us I was still able to hear what he said. I thought about it for a moment. I would want to eventually make a life with him. I would love to move with him, find a place of our own where we wouldn't have to hide in fear from the world.

"I want to be able to be with you whenever, doing whatever the hell we wanted." I said, chuckling a bit. He smiled and toyed with the ends of my hair. "We should travel." He told me. "Travel?" I questioned.

He nodded, smiling softly. "Yea, like do things we've never done before. I want to try new things with you. It would be fun. We could go to Paris or New York or some shit." Louis said, a small laugh escaping his lips. I smiled, nuzzling my face in his neck.

"Sounds perfect to me." I mumbled, leaving a kiss under his ear, his skin hot beneath my lips. "Anything with you would be perfect." I added, my arms draping lazily over his waist. 

He sighed happily in my ear, his hot breathe hitting the side of my face. "I love you." He whispered and my heart fluttered from the three words. I couldn't get tired listening to them. I loved the way it sounded, it sounded so perfect coming from his lips. 

I pulled back and looked at him, resting my head back down on the pillow. "I love you, Lou." I mumbled. "When did I get so lucky?" 

Louis blushed, the corners of his eyes crinkling; an aspect that I loved so much about him. "I don't know what I would do without you." Louis whispered. "You've changed my life so much, you know." 

I nodded, understanding where he was coming from. I was happy I was able to be the light in his life, that I was able to give him some kind of purpose. 

"It'd just be better if the circumstances were different." I sighed sadly. "I hate that we have to love in secret, I want to be able to hold you like this when I want to." I frowned. 

"It is what it is." Louis whispered, his eyes closing. "Why don't you get some sleep? We have to be up in a few hours. I don't want you to be tired." I murmured. Louis sighed but nodded, sitting up quietly on my bunk before leaning over me. 

"I love you." He whispered, pressing his lips against mine. I smiled against the kiss. It was soft and sweet. After a moment I pulled back and whispered the same three words to him. "I love you. Goodnight." 

"Goodnight." He smiled, crawling out of my bunk and climbing into his. I sighed, missing the warmth that he gave me. I rolled over onto my back, pulling the duvet back over me. 

It was times like these I felt whole. I felt happy whenever I was able to feel connected to him. During the day it was like something would click off in me. I knew this of course. I just felt so empty. I still haven't been taking the pills but by now I should be done with them. I would always discard them in the morning. They wouldn't help me anyways. I don't want to be someone who's drugged up because of some mental illness that I supposedly had.

My thoughts were always dark. I would think about what my life would be like if I hadn't of volunteered for this. But then I would think of how I wouldn't have Louis in my life and I would quickly push those thoughts away.

I had started to have dreams, or nightmares. They weren't anything serious but they were enough for me to get shook up. Usually they'd be about the future, during the war. There would be blood all over, all our comrades being shot and killed. Sometimes they ended with Louis being shot, other times they would end with me being shot and then waking up right after.

My heart was always heavy feeling after a dream like that and I prayed my dreams wouldn't come to a reality even though I know things are too good to be true. Even though we have allies I know people I care about will die out there, like Nicholas and Jayden. 

With these thoughts in my head, I closed my eyes praying for a good dream tonight. I fell asleep with nothing but war and Louis in my head.


	23. Blinded

May 16th, 1940  
Ten days until the Battle of Dukirk  
Harry's Point of View

Calluses were thick on the pads of my hands. I picked at them, hating the way they rough way they felt. It was now ten days left and being frightened was a little bit of an understatement. I was scared to death and there was nothing I could do about it at this point. 

"You look fine, I promise." Louis giggled, adjusting the new bandana that I had tied around my head. "I'm not used to seeing you with all this hair." He laughed, his eyes crinkling. I huffed, looking back at myself in the mirror.

"Are you sure? I feel like it's silly." The white and black bandana lied securely around my head, my longer curls poking out every which way. I wasn't quite sure how I felt about it but it kept the annoying strands of hair out of my face during training. "You look great, promise." Louis smiled, standing next to my side in the mirror. 

"Besides, don't think about what others say, if they do say anything. I think you look absolutely amazing and it won't matter by the time this is all over and we can go home together." He added, the smile never leaving his face. 

I smiled at him through the reflection of the mirror, feeling not as insecure about the bandana. Louis wrapped his arms around the side of my waist, snuggling into my side and I smiled as I watched him do so. I loved the affection he gave.

"Have you been writing your mum?" Louis then asked, looking into my eyes through the mirror. Realization suddenly clouded over my features as I just remembered I hadn't done so for a couple days.  I bit my lip, shaking my head. "No, I'll have to do that later tonight. Totally slipped my mind. Everything's just been exhausting, y'know?" I stopped myself from running my fingers through my hair since the bandana was there. This was a habit I've always had.

Louis nodded, his eyes fluttering a little bit. "Yea, I understand that." 

I turned around in his embrace, resting my head on top of his. "You're so small." I laughed, changing the subject. He poked out his lip, looking up at me. "It's not my fault you're fucking six foot and two inches or some shit." A loud laugh came from my mouth and I smirked down at him. "Six foot, one inch to be exact, babe." 

Louis blushed and rested his head on my chest again. "It's okay, I still love you." He said as I played with his hair. "I love you." I returned, my arms tightening around his small waist.

 

Nicholas' Point of View 

"Have you seen Harry or Louis?" Jayden, my best mate asked, looking around his surroundings while holding the set of cards to the card game we were playing in front of him. I shrugged, slapping down a card on the table. "Dunno, haven't seen them for awhile now." 

"I think there's something going on between them." Jayden said, pulling his lip in between his lip and studying his cards. "What do you mean? Like what?" I asked, my full attention going towards him as I momentarily forgot about the card game. 

Jayden shrugged, scratching at the black scruff on his face. "I don't know, they just seem inseparable. Always doing something together." 

I thought about it and it was true. They were always together, never leaving each other's sides. Always laughing and smiling. "They're best mates, I don't know what you're talking about."

Jayden nodded. "Yea, you're right. I don't know what I'm thinking, it's your turn." He said, motioning to the deck of cards in the middle. 

"I need to use the restroom real quick, I'll be back in a minute." I got up, laying my cards down on the table. "Don't cheat." I warned, narrowing my eyes at him and Jayden chuckled, jokingly holding his hands up in surrender. I laughed, leaving the room. 

I whistled an old tune as I walked down the large corridor to find the bathrooms. The sound echoed off the walls. The air was silent beside the silent pats of my foot and the tune that escaped my lips. 

I heard mumbling as I approached the entrance. I furrowed my eyebrows, not wanting to be nosey but couldn't help myself as I heard two voices mumbling to each other. 

I stopped next to the entrance and leaned against the cool brick wall, listening to the voices on the other side. 

"It's okay, I still love you." I heard a higher voice say, and I immediately recognized the voice to be Louis'. Confusion swept over me and I was wondering who on earth he could be talking to. My mind immediately went to the nurse at the infirmary and I smirked to myself because it was undeniable how good looking she was.

But the next three words I heard made my eyes grow dark. It wasn't the fact that the words made my skin crawl and the hairs on my arms stick up, but it was the low, raspy voice that I knew all too well by now who said the words.

"I love you." The person said, and it was obvious who this voice belonged to; Harry Styles.


	24. Inevitable

Harry's Point of View 

"We should probably get back." I murmured into Louis' hair. I felt him nod under me as he pulled back from my body. He smiled up to me before we walked towards the entrance of the bathrooms.

Right as we were leaving, Nicholas came in, almost bumping into us. I smiled at him, glad to see a familiar face. The smile was not returned though as he pushed through us, a sour expression enhanced on his face. 

I furrowed my eyebrows, walking out. "Wonder what's gotten into him?" I said aloud. Louis shrugged, walking next to my side back to the bunks. "Dunno, don't worry about it. Jayden or something probably pissed him off." He laughed. I nodded, forcing a smile on my face. 

I dropped down into my bunk, sighing heavily. "You better write your mum or you won't hear the end of it when we go back to Holmes Chapel." Louis pointed out, eyeing me. 

I huffed, getting up and rummaging through my luggage, looking for the pen and journal that I usually used. Sitting on the edge of my bunk, I opened up the journal and started scribbling down words. 

Dear mum,  
I apologize for not writing for days. It's been exhausting here. Today is the first break we've gotten in months now. How have you been? And Gemma? I've been okay, I've also been worn out physically and mentally. Louis is okay too. Did you know that I had to go to the infirmary? Nothing serious of course, don't worry. Was just overheated I guess. But I'm doing okay now. I can't wait to come home. Did I also tell you that I want Louis to come home with me? I hope you don't mind, I know how fond you are of him and so is he to you, and Gemma. It's currently May 16th, and we only have ten days left. But I can't wait to come back home next month after its all done, of course if things turn out as planned. Louis told me to tell you and Gemma that he said hi.  
Take care, I love you. 

All the love, H.

I tore the two pages out of my journal neatly, folding them and putting them in an envelope with the mailing address. I would have to turn it in in the morning. I slid the white envelope securely back into my luggage so it wouldn't get lost. 

The sun still shined through the windows, and I didn't feel like laying in bed like I thought I would after being up on my feet all the time. 

"Walk with me." I said, not really asking at all because I wanted Louis to come with me. Louis stopped what he was doing and smiled softly, getting up from his spot. I had to stop myself from grabbing his hand, something that I was so used to whenever we would walk together. Instead Louis followed me down the corridors and outside. 

The fresh air hit me and I loved the way it felt again my skin. "Where are we going?" Louis asked, following behind me as I walked towards a loan trail. I shrugged, shoving my hands in my pockets. "I just want to go for a walk, I hate being stuck in there." I told him, kicking a few rocks as I walked a steady pace. 

Louis took my hand in his, lacing my fingers through his. "I understand that, it's tiring just looking at the boring brown walls all the time." 

I nodded, completely agreeing with him. I wanted a new atmosphere and not to sit around with the constant reminder of what was to come. 

"What're you thinking about?" Louis asked, looking ahead of him and shoving some of his hair out of his face. Along with mine, his hair has grown so much too and I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it, because honestly he looked so good with longer hair. 

"Nothing, really." I said honestly, before looking back up from the trail. "Maybe just everything, I guess." I added. "Do you wanna talk about what you're thinking?" Louis asked, his shoulder brushing against mine. 

I bit my lip, adjusting the bandana that still was tied around my head. Did I want to talk about it? My mind is a mess right now, I cannot sort out my thoughts. I had constant thoughts about war; death. It was hard to push these damaging thoughts to the back of my mind. I also had constant thoughts about Louis and the future. It was uncertain what would happen, but I'd have to protect Louis at all costs. 

I couldn't be able to breathe without him. I would never want to see a world without Louis Tomlinson. That was one of the scariest thoughts I had; living a life without him. Granted, yes it has been only about seven months since we've met but if I was granted the wish to turn back time and get myself out of this mess I don't think I would have the heart to do it, because no war means no Louis. 

"You know I love you, right?" I asked, feeling my heart beat wildly against my chest. I seen in the corner of my eyes as Louis nodded slowly. "What are you getting at exactly?" Louis asked, looking over to me. I shrugged, my head pounding the same beat as my heart. "Nothing, let's just continue walking." 

And that's what we did. We walked for another thirty minutes or so on the same trail so we wouldn't get lost. The trees stayed the same as we continued to walk, the same dirt path, the same blue sky. Wild flowers were scattered around within the grass and any other time it would be beautiful to me. But knowing that this scenery will stay the same but the war will change everything wasn't beautiful to me.

But what was beautiful to me was Louis. The scruff on his face to the glistening sun in his eyes. It was all so perfect. I never thought I would ever be a typical sap like this, but it was inevitable that I would always love this man next to me.

Finally, we stopped at a little area that didn't have much trees. We were at least a mile or two away from camp, but all we had to worry about was making it before dark. We had plenty of time to spare. 

I dropped down onto the grass, crossing my legs underneath me. Louis followed my actions, sitting down. My head was swarming and it felt like it was about to burst with all the thoughts that I had held up in there. 

"What are we gonna do when we get back to Holmes Chapel?" I asked. Louis furrowed his eyebrows next to me, smiling a bit. "We've talked about this so many times, Harry." He said.

I nodded, knowing that this conversation had sparked up a few times before. We had all these big plans of traveling together, doing new things together. I've even thought about what it'd be like to move in together, maybe a nice home on the hillside or something like that. 

"What's on your mind? I can tell that you seem deep in thought and it isn't good to hold all these thoughts in." Louis said matter-of-factly and I hated how much he could read me. It was like he knew what I was feeling just by looking at me.

"I just love you, that's all." I said, trying to get him to move on from the subject before I screamed the question that I was so deathly scared to say. 

Louis sighed, turning fully towards me. "Come on," Louis dragged out, a little whine to his voice. "Tell me what's really going through your head." 

"You, that's all." I finally said. "What about me?" He pressured. I shrugged, fiddling with the grass beneath me. "A bunch of stuff, really, there's so much that I don't think I'd be able to finish." Louis smiled softly at my answer.

"Why not tell me?" He asked, his tone quiet and warming. 

"I don't know, it's just I think about how much I love you. And if I could I would count a thousand constellations for you. And it is inevitable how much I will forever love you, and I also think about different scenarios for the next month. I think about what will happen when we go home, if you will still love me,"

"Harry, don't s-" I cut him off, continuing with this big long speech of my thoughts with my heart beating faster than ever in my chest. "I think about getting a house on the hillside with you, I think about staring at you in front of the Eiffel Tower and how beautiful you would look if we ever got to visit. I think of all these different scenarios and some of them excite me, some of them scare me. But I wouldn't take any of this away, ya know. If someone just popped up in the air and said that I could turn back one year ago and not turn in my papers for this horrible thing called war then I wouldn't do it. I couldn't do it because I wouldn't have gotten to stumble across you. We wouldn't have sat down on Train 43 talking about ourselves and getting to know each other. And I'm not even sure where I got the audacity to be saying these things, and I'm also not sure what tomorrow will bring. I'm not sure if it will rain or if the sun will shine all day. I'm not sure if I will make it through this mess and I'm also not sure if I will ever get to go home. But I would also make it my undying wish for you to go home and be okay, even if I am not by your side. And I know I have all these scary thoughts about death and my chances of making it out of this, but really my chances are just as good as yours are, or Jayden's, or even Nicholas' or our allies. My chances of making it out is as good as yours and I pray we are one of the two people to make it home together because a life without you would kill me in every way possible. All of my twenty-three years of living was me learning to live half a life until I met you. You will forever always be in my heart and the minute I saw you, you took my breath away and I never imagined I would be siting here with the boy I am madly in love and I am not sure if I should be saying these next couple words." I stopped myself, feeling as if I was out of breathe and that I could fall over any moment. The whole time I was looking straight ahead of me into the woods, not bothering to look at Louis beside me. 

"I- Wha- Harry? What are you trying to say?" Louis finally said after a couple long minutes passed. And it was like he could almost tell what I had to say next. It was as if he was picking through my brain and finding out every detail that was going to happen. It was like I could feel Louis mentally go through all the information that I had given him, picking through pieces and parts and putting them together like a puzzle. 

My tongue was dry in my mouth, and I don't know how I managed to mutter out the two words next. I don't know how I managed to talk about all my thoughts and hand them over for Louis to take. But that was the thing, I wanted Louis there next to me every second of every day, helping me and me helping him. And that's all I thought about as I briefly closed my eyes, my stomach starting to hurt.

"Marry me."


	25. Emotion

Louis' Point of View

"Why not tell me?" I asked, wanting him to open up to me. I was still worried about Harry even though it's been weeks since he has been in the infirmary but I didn't want him bottling up all these feelings. 

I stared at Harry as I sat here next to him on the grass. The atmosphere finally seemed peaceful and being here was like all my problems were just going away. How I wish that was true though.

"I don't know," Harry began, and I focused all my attention on him now. 

"It's just I think about how much I love you. And if I could I would count a thousand constellations for you. And it is inevitable how much I will forever love you, and I also think about different scenarios for the next month. I think about what will happen when we go home, if you will still love me,"

I cut Harry off, shaking my head and furrowing my eyebrows. What does he mean? What would change my feelings for him? I didn't understand. "Harry, don't s-" I began but was quick to shut up when he completely ignored me and continued 

"I think about getting a house on the hillside with you, I think about staring at you in front of the Eiffel Tower and how beautiful you would look if we ever got to visit. I think of all these different scenarios and some of them excite me, some of them scare me. But I wouldn't take any of this away, ya know. If someone just popped up in the air and said that I could turn back one year ago and not turn in my papers for this horrible thing called war then I wouldn't do it. I couldn't do it because I wouldn't have gotten to stumble across you. We wouldn't have sat down on Train 43 talking about ourselves and getting to know each other. And I'm not even sure where I got the audacity to be saying these things, and I'm also not sure what tomorrow will bring. I'm not sure if it will rain or if the sun will shine all day. I'm not sure if I will make it through this mess and I'm also not sure if I will ever get to go home. But I would also make it my undying wish for you to go home and be okay, even if I am not by your side. And I know I have all these scary thoughts about death and my chances of making it out of this, but really my chances are just as good as yours are, or Jayden's, or even Nicholas' or our allies. My chances of making it out is as good as yours and I pray we are one of the two people to make it home together because a life without you would kill me in every way possible. All of my twenty-three years of living was me learning to live half a life until I met you. You will forever always be in my heart and the minute I saw you, you took my breath away and I never imagined I would be siting here with the boy I am madly in love and I am not sure if I should be saying these next couple words."

My heart was beating fast against my chest and I could feel my eyes getting glassy from the words he had spoken. I never expected him to open up to me, and I had no clue what to say to such a speech like that. So instead I sat there, frozen but still staring at my Harry. I thought about everything he said, and I didn't know he could put together words so amazingly. It literally took my breath away. 

But what stood out most to me was what he meant when he said "I am not sure if I should be saying these next couple words to you." And those words made my head spin, because what could he possibly say to me? I mean we have already confessed our love to each other, what could be so greater than this that he had to give a big long speech about love and oblivion? A thought popped up in my head but I was quick to push it aside. Instead I broke the silence.

"I- Wha- Harry? What are you trying to say?" I asked, my voice coming out too weak for my liking. The eight months we have known each other I had never heard these words escape his lips. Yes, we talked about the future and our love but I never imagined how deep he thought about these things; how deep these thoughts went. 

The next words though completely took my breath away. The two words I never imagined him to say. The two words that made my head feel light and my body to freeze along with my eyes on him. The way his mouth formed the words made it that much more beautiful to me. 

"Marry me." Harry spoke, his voice coming out more confident that I could ever imagine. Harry still hadn't looked at me, and I wasn't sure if I would want to look at myself either.

I had no clue what to say, literally nothing came to mind as different thoughts bombarded my head. I wanted to get up and shout into the void how much I loved this man and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, but instead I sat there dumbfounded. 

Seconds, minutes, hours felt like has passed but I knew in reality it's only been a minute. My tongue was dry and my throat was scratching for something to drink. My stomach started to hurt, but not like the familiar butterflies I would get whenever he would touch me. It was more like nervousness, I was so nervous what my next words would be and what that would bring us to.

To my surprise, Harry turned to me so he could fully look at me. I stared into his eyes, trying to read him. I could tell he looked terrified, and maybe even almost hopeful. 

"Marry me." He repeated, his full focus on me, his face full of hope and want.

Harry's Point of View 

"When we get home I want you to marry me, and I want us to live in our own home, and I want to wake up with you every single day. I want to not be able to hide in fear." I said, looking at Louis now.

"No, I don't expect you to just get up and marry me next month, or even two months from now. I just want you to promise me that when this is all over you will stay with me, and we will be happy and get married, because that is my biggest wish right now." I explained myself.

I wasn't sure what I expected from him, and I'm not completely sure if his reaction was good or bad. He sat there, frozen in his spot with shock all over his face. I was silently pleading with him to say something, anything. Anything would be better than this silence. 

What I didn't expect though was to be pulled by my collar. These motions seemed as if they happened so fast because the next thing I knew a pair of lips were crashed against mine. I was shocked but I soon recovered and was able to press my lips against his, my eyebrows furrowed together and my hands holding his face against mine. 

I could feel the skin on my face  get wet and for a moment I thought I was crying, but I was surprised to flutter my eyes to see it was Louis. Tears cascaded down his cheeks and I then felt his head move against mine. My heart skipped a beat when he nodded his head over and over in fast movements. "Yes." He mumbled against my lips and that was all the reassurance I needed.

I could hardly believe it, I couldn't believe it at all. It felt like this whole thing was a dream because my Louis just agreed to marry me. 

I didn't plan to ask him this question today; hell I didn't even plan all this as we walked here. It just all came out all at once and I couldn't stop myself. But it felt right, it felt right saying those words and right now this feels right, like this was all God's plan and this was meant to happen. 

Jayden's Point of View

I waited for Nicholas to get back so we could continue our game. But I was left here in thought about Louis and Harry. I felt like there was something going on between them. Everyone else may have been oblivious, but I definitely wasn't. 

It didn't matter to me anyways. It wasn't my business what was going on and I've grown to have a liking to both of them. 

Nicholas stormed in the room, his eyes dark and his muscles tense. I furrowed my eyebrows at him. "What's gotten into you?" I asked, looking up at him pacing the room. 

"You were right." He said, not sparing a glance to me. I looked at him confused. "About what?"

"About Louis and Harry. I heard it in the bathroom myself. They were both in there, talking to each other. I didn't believe it at first until I heard that damn Harry mutter three words to Louis." He stopped himself and I could feel the anger rolling off of him. "They're fucking faggots, that's what they are. That's a sin, they are sinning."

I rolled my eyes at him, not being surprised by the information he gave me. "Even if what you're saying is true, leave them alone. If they're happy then let it be. Now sit down so we can continue this game." I motioned towards the cards in front of me on the brown wooden table. 

He shook his head, curling his lips into his mouth. "You know that they are not allowed here in the army if they're," he stopped himself, as if he didn't even want to say the word." "gay." He finished. 

"You're overreacting, nothing wrong with loving someone of the same gender. Just sit down and get over it, it's not like they're harming you." I pleaded with him, never seeing Nicholas this disgusted before.

He shook his head, looking out the window towards the woods and trail that was next to the bunk. His eyes then narrowed at something and he then backed away from the window. "I have to go." He muttered.

"What about the card game?! I have scrabble too!" I scoffed, watching him as he ignored me and left. I had a bad feeling, and I couldn't help myself from wanting to get up and follow him out the door and outside.

I grabbed onto his shoulder, spinning him around. I almost did a double take as I looked at the expression on him. "What the fuck are you doing?" I shouted before noticing two figures a good distance away from us. I recognized them as Louis and Harry and I then realized he came out there to follow them.

"Are you mad?!" I started. "Just leave them alone, go back inside. It isn't your business." I angrily said, begging him to get back in the bunks. "Leave them alone." I repeated, glaring at him.

He huffed, throwing my hand off his shoulder before pushing past me back in the bunks. I stared at him before turning around and not seeing Louis or Harry anymore. I was just praying that Nicholas wouldn't do something he would regret. 

 

**unedited**


	26. Rage

May 19th, 1940  
Seven Days until the Battle of Dunkirk

Harry's Point of View

I positioned the rifle in front of me, squinting one eye and aiming at the targets that stood ten yards away from me. With each shot I fired, my body would jolt a bit. Louis stood beside me, copying my actions.

My shots weren't all that incredible but they were much better than they had been days ago. I was high on an adrenaline rush and I felt as if each shot I did got better each time. 

There was a long row of us practicing our shooting. Jayden stood on the other side of me with Nicholas next to me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get Nicholas to talk at me or spare me a look. I had asked Jayden what was wrong with him more than once but he would just shrug it off and change the subject. I knew something was up with him though and it almost made me feel nervous, especially when I was around him.

My arms ached from holding them up for so long and the reaction they received whenever I fired the rifle. I put the rifle down, letting my arms rest. We were thankfully about done for today and I was ready to crash in my bunk and go to sleep.

I sat my rifle down where it belonged after making sure the safety lock was on and then stretched my arms out, wincing at the ache that was still there. This is what we've been doing all day. Ever since this morning we have been practicing our shooting and it was more exhausting than what it seemed.

"Clean it up for today, we will continue in the morning." Our trainer said, looking up through his glasses from where he was sitting and observing. Everyone started doing as told and I waited outside for Louis to come out. It was awfully crowded in the small building and it was kind of suffocating at times, plus with it being hot.

"Styles, I wanna talk to you." Nicholas said, his eyes dark. My stomach started to hurt as I followed him towards the side of the building. I don't know what'd he wanna talk about but the fact that we were away from everyone else slightly made me more nervous.

"What'd do you wanna t-" I was cut off by a sharp pain in my stomach and I let a cry out, falling to my knees and holding my stomach. I looked up to see Nicholas towering over me before kicking me down and hovering over me.

"If you tell anyone about this I will fucking kill you." The authority in his eyes made me scared to death and my whole body hurt. He stood up straight and glared at me. "Fag." He muttered, walking off and leaving me on the ground.

I lied there for a moment dumbfounded and in pain. I was so confused on what just happened. What did I ever do to him? What did I do wrong? Tears pricked the side of the eyes as I slowly got up, wincing as my stomach felt like it was going to fall out any moment. I quickly wiped at my eyes and dusted off the back of my pants.

I slowly walked over back to where I was standing and was met by a worried expression from Lou. "Hey, where were you? What's wrong?" He asked. I shook my head feeling Nicholas' glare burning in the side of my head. "I'm fine, just tired. Let's go." I said, my voice coming out weaker than I would have liked it to.

Louis nodded anyways and we followed everyone back to the bunks. I felt sick to my stomach and I couldn't get myself to calm my nerves down. I thought back to the word he had called me. Fag. Could Nicholas possibly know about Louis and I? Because that seemed almost impossible.

I then thought about how me and Louis had been in the bathrooms the other day and Nicholas was fast to come in when we were leaving. The hairs on my arms stood up but I pushed the thought away that he could have heard something. 

"What's wrong? It looks like you've seen a ghost." Louis said, taking his boots off his feet and throwing them off to the side. "Just tired, that's all." I said, copying his actions and picking up a pile of clean clothes.

"I'm going to go change." I said, standing up. Louis furrowed his eyebrows. "You always just change in here, why leave?" He asked, smirking a bit to himself. I gulped and shrugged. "Have to use the restroom, I'll be back in a minute." 

Louis nodded, sliding his shirt off of him. I couldn't help but stare at his torso and also smile to myself because the wounds on his back had healed up nicely and you could barely see them.

I walked down the corridor and into the bathrooms, walking into a stall. I tore off my shirt and looked down at my stomach. Nothing was visible thankfully but the pain was still there whenever I lightly touched it. I sighed, putting on my clean clothes and walking back out of the stall.

I walked back down the corridor but stopped when I heard hushed voices. 

"Are you mad?! Why did you do that, I told you to leave him alone." I heard Jayden whisper from another room. The door was fully open and I don't know why they weren't back at their bunks.

"He deserved it, maybe it taught him a lesson." I then heard Nicholas and my mouth went dry because I knew they were talking about earlier today.

"What? You think kicking him in the stomach would kick the gay out of him or some shit? You're really stupid, Nicholas." My heart dropped because it was then that I realized that they knew. They had to know about Louis and I. What scared me was that it was more than one person who knew and it made me wonder how many others knew.

I quickly scurried off, not wanting to get caught in fear of what would happen to me. I quickly made it back to my bunk just to see Louis passed out on his. I smiled softly as if looking at Louis made all my worries go away. Blowing out the candle I laid a feathery kiss on Lou's forehead before dropping down into my bunk.

But the worries soon returned and my stomach started to hurt again. It didn't start to hurt from where Nicholas had kicked me earlier; but it started to hurt in fear of what he could possibly do to my Louis. I could feel myself tense and my teeth clamp shut along with my fists as I imagined different scenarios. And if he ever touched my Louis I would be the one to kill him. My fiancé.

**unedited**


	27. Vows

May 22th, 1940  
Four Days until the Battle of Dunkirk 

"I'm scared, Louis." I pouted, fiddling with the grass beneath us as I looked up to him from the position I was in; my head in his lap with Louis playing with my curls. 

"I know, love. Everyone is I'm sure." He said softly, smiling down to me. "I didn't think that it'd feel like this whenever I imagined it. I don't know what I thought actually, I just feel nervous all the time now." I confessed.

"That's normal, I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the same way." He said, leaning back on his forearms and looking up to the partly cloudy sky.

He took one hand and started rubbing his fingers up and down my arms. I closed my eyes loving the serenity this brought me. It was so soothing and being here in Lou's lap was something I could definitely get used to.

As soon as his fingers trailed along my stomach I flinched. It was finally starting to bruise from where Nicholas had hit me and it still hurt really bad. The green and purple colors were spread across the middle of my stomach and I hated the way it looked.

"What is it?" Louis asked, sitting up more and furrowing his eyebrows at me. I shook my head. I didn't want Louis to know and have to worry, especially after the threat that Nicholas had given me. Lou still didn't know anything about what had happened and I hoped it would be kept that way so I could just move on from it.

"It's nothing." I finally said, completely lying to his face. I hated lying to him but I didn't want to worry Louis and ruin our day.

Louis' hand trailed up my shirt and I bit my lip. Any other time I would have loved the way he was touching me, I'd be so turned on but right now I was holding my breath praying he wouldn't pull my shirt up. But my hope soon vanished as he pulled my shirt up to where the bruise was exposed to him. I heard a gasp and I dared to look up to him. His eyes were angry as he stared at the colors on my stomach.

"Wha- Who did this? What happened?" Louis asked, his tone loud and frightening. I shook my head, sitting up and pulling my shirt back down. "Nothing, it was an accident. I did it." I lied through my teeth not letting my eyes meet Louis'.

"Bullshit, what could've caused this? Don't lie to me. Tell me what happened." Louis demanded, pursing his lips. I sighed, knowing that he wasn't going to drop this but I really didn't want him to know for whatever reason.

"Nothing, just forget about it." I mumbled, pulling back on my brown boots that I had thrown off when I got here.

"Harry, no. I want to know." Louis shouted and I faltered back at his angry tone. "Stop shouting at me." I pleaded, my tone weak. He shook his head. "Tell me who did this." He retorted and I gave up the lies, deciding to just tell him the truth.

"If I tell you, you cannot say anything. Don't do anything, please." I begged. Louis rolled his eyes before nodding. "It was Nicholas." I whispered, barely audible.

"What?" Louis asked, obviously not hearing what I said. I coughed and looked down at the ground. "It was Nicholas, he did it." I repeated a bit louder.

Louis was fast to go to his feet. "What the fuck? Why would he do this?! I'm going to fucking kill him." Louis shouted, I've never seen him so livid before.

I jumped to my feet and furiously shook my head. "N-no, please don't. I don't want anymore trouble." I stuttered, approaching him and putting my hand on his shoulder.

Louis huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Why'd he do it?" He asked, taking in my vulnerable state and I noticed he relaxed a bit, but the anger was still present.

"Louis," I started. "He knows. He knows about us." Louis' eyebrows rose and he looked as if he had seen a ghost. "W-what? Why? How?" He asked.

I shrugged. "Beats me, but I have a good idea. I overhead him and Jayden an-" I was cut off by an angry Louis. "Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me. Two people know?! This is great." He sarcastically said, throwing his arms up in the air.

I ignored him and continued on. "Remember when Nicholas barged into the bathrooms last week?" And I didn't have to explain any further when realization coated Louis' face.

"Holy fuck, holy shit. That's how he knows." Louis said in disbelief. I nodded slowly, playing with my hands. "Don't do anything. What if- what if he tells someone else? We can't let that happen." I said and Louis nodded. 

"Okay, I won't." He promised and my stomach felt unsettled but I nodded. "We better get going." I said.

-

I sat on the edge of my bunk and watched Louis pace back and forth. He hasn't said much of anything since we've gotten back and it didn't help my nerves at all. What also didn't help my nerves was seeing Nicholas in the corner of my eye a few bunks down glaring at me.

My heart almost stopped though when I seen him walking over with a nervous Jayden behind him saying things to him that I could not hear from this far away.

"Hey." Nicholas casually said, leaning up against the side of the bunk bed. I didn't say anything but Louis was quick to say something.

"Get away from us." Louis said though his teeth, standing tall and his chest heaving up and down.

"Woah, woah. Just coming to say hi." He said, throwing his arms up in the air before he gave me another glare. My stomach dropped because what if he knew I had told Louis? Louis was so mad right now and especially at Nicholas when technically he wouldn't have a reason to if he didn't know.

"Oh, sure you are." Louis sarcastically said and I coughed, trying to get Louis to stop. He ignored me of course. 

"Just wanted to come say hi to you guys. No worries." Nicholas said, patting me roughly on the shoulder and I flinched away.

"Don't fucking touch him." Louis barked, pushing Nicholas out of the way. My eyes were wide as I watched what was going down. People around the room were starting to notice the commotion and I didn't like it at all.

"I'm sorry, almost forgot that you're the only one allowed to touch him." He smirked. Louis pushed him up against the wall, his arm pressing up against his chest. Nicholas was taller than Louis but I was surprised by Louis' strength.

"Louis, stop." I cried but was not acknowledged as Louis sent daggers through Nicholas' head.

"I will fucking kill you if you ever touch him again." Louis growled, glaring at Nicholas through his hold. My heart was hammering against my chest and I couldn't believe what was happening.

I finally found the courage to stand up and grab Louis' shoulders, pulling him off of Nicholas. 

Louis let me pull him off and I could feel e how tense his muscles were under my hold. His eyes never left Nicholas' as he backed up off the wall, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Whatever, faggots." He mumbled but it was loud enough for me to flinch at the mean words. If felt like I could get sick any moment because by now I was sure Nicholas knew that Louis knew.

Nicholas walked off, not sparing us a second glance. Jayden stood there, his eyes wide open as he was not expecting what had just happened. 

Jayden approached us as I sat Louis down on my bed. He was shaking from anger and I swear I never thought I would see Louis like this.

By now people were walking back to their bunks probably discussing with their mates on what had just happened. 

"I tried to stop him." Jayden mumbled so only Louis and I could hear. "You know?" I asked, my hand rubbing up and down Louis' back to try and get him to calm down. He had his hands clenched on his knees and he wasn't acknowledging us.

Jayden nodded, scratching the back of his neck. "Don't worry though, I don't have a problem with it. But Nicholas on the other hand..." He trailed off and I felt a small amount of weight lift up off my shoulders that Jayden was accepting.

"Yea..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say. "I can try talking to him more for you guys, he's just so stubborn. He doesn't listen." He said. "I'd appreciate that." I responded, looking up to see Jayden standing there.

"I have to go but I'll let you guys know if anything happens, promise." Jayden said and I smiled, thankful. "Okay, thank you, really." I spoke and Jayden smiled before walking away towards the same direction Nicholas went.

I sighed and turned to Louis who was still uncontrollably angry. "He fucking touched you." Louis muttered under his breath, the first words he had said since the commotion. 

"I'll be fine, it's over. Calm down, babe." I whispered in his ear while snaking my hand up his back, the warm skin tingling the pads on my fingers.

Louis sighed and nodded, looking at me. "I'm sorry." He mumbled. I smiled weakly at him, wishing that I could kiss him, wishing that he would touch me. 

"Don't worry about it." I mumbled. It was still bright outside for it was only about 17:00 in the evening. "I'm supposed to protect you, but I couldn't protect you from that." Louis sadly said, looking away from me and back at the floor.

"Don't blame yourself, I'm okay. Just move on from it." I whispered and I watch him nod, not saying any other words. "I love you." I whispered into his ear for only him to hear.

He sat back up, smiling brightly, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "I love you, so much." He whispered, placing his hand under mine under the sheets for no one to see. "Even lost in the dark, my heart will find you." He added and I couldn't stop the grin on my face.

-

Two Hours Later 

"What if I don't make it? Like not to make this sad or anything, but I'm just curious. What if we don't get to do all the things we said we were going to do." I asked, sitting on a log next to Louis.

Louis looked straight ahead of him, his hand on him. "I'd probably die, let's be honest. I'm getting my hopes up here." Louis chuckled, his eyes shining in the light that was still visible from the sky.

I smiled, nodding. "What about me? What if I didn't make it?" He asked. I shrugged. "First off, I'd probably cry because I'd be like "Shit, Louis never got to hear my vows."" I smirked, squeezing his hand in mine.

"You already know your vows? Shit, Harry, I'm not even sure what I'm going to wear to bed and you're already planning shit." Louis laughed and I couldn't help to let out a loud laugh, my shoulders shaking.

"Yes, I've been thinking about it, I think I know what I'll say." I told him, calming myself down. "Well let's hear them then." Louis said, sitting up and looking to me. I flushed, "Aren't you supposed to like, save them?" I asked, my heart beating against my chest.

Louis shrugged. "Doesn't matter, why not do it now while we have the chance?" He said and I nodded, sitting up taller. "I- Okay." I stammered, focusing my eyes on his. He looked at me, smiling at me while he waited for me to begin.

I took a deep breath, shutting my eyes for a moment before looking back up at him. "Louis," I started. "I take you to be my husband," I blushed, "Ah, this is stupid, l-" I was cut off by Louis. "No, no! Continue, let me hear." He laughed. So I continued with the words I had memorized for the most part.

"I vow to love you until I take my last breath, and I vow to always be by your side. I promise to give you the best of myself every day. I promise to respect and love you and I promise the last thing I will ever give you is my heart, for my heart already belongs to you and if I could give you the world I would along my last dying breath." I grabbed both of his hands in mine, looking into his beautiful blue eyes. 

"I vow to be the best for you because you only deserve the best. I vow to never give up on us even during our darkest and hardest times. I will want you forever and always, through the good and the bad and the happy. I will love you forever and always, whether rich or for poor or for better. Because from day one I have been madly in love with you, Louis Tomlinson." I ended and I could feel that my mouth was dry. 

Tears went down Louis' face and I was quick to place my thumb on his cheeks, wiping away the tears. "Did I say anything wrong?" I panicked and Lou shook his head, placing his hands on my wrists.

"No, you said everything right. Jesus, I'm so lucky. Never leave me, Harry Styles, because I would rather be dead than live in a world without you."


	28. Alarmed

May 22nd, 1940  
Four Days until the Battle of Dunkirk

"I'll never leave you, no matter what." I promised, smiling wide at him. Louis crawled over to me, wrapping his arms around my torso and squishing his cheek against my chest. I brushed my fingers through his hair, holding him close to me.

"I can hear your heart beat." Louis said and I smiled softly down at him. "It's beating really fast, just saying." He chuckled. I blushed knowing he was right. "That's the effect you have on me." I told him. Louis looked up and kissed my cheek.

"I'm so lucky." He mumbled. "Even in a situation like this?" I asked, "Where we're going to risk our lives in a few days?" I added. Louis nodded, "You make it all that much better." He mumbled against my neck, his hand holding the side of my neck while his other arm was still around mine body.

"I wish we could stay here together." I sighed, closing my eyes and enjoying the moment. "Yea, I agree. It's getting late though, we better get going before we get into any trouble." Louis sighed, pulling away from me and I pouted, already missing his embrace but nevertheless I stood up from the log we were sitting on and grabbed his hand, walking back to camp just to face more training.

-

Two Days Later  
May 24th, 1940  
Two Days until the Battle of Dunkirk

Louis' Point of View

I shifted in my bunk, waking up. I looked around the bunks to see everyone was still asleep. The sunrise was visible through the glass windows. I stared at it for a couple moments before rolling on my back and pulling the duvet up around me. I closed my eyes, trying to force myself to go back to sleep for the remainder of the time that I had but I was unsuccessful.

Sighing, I sat up, swinging my legs over the bunk and jumping off, landing with a soft thud against the cold ground. I looked under my bunk expecting to see Harry but instead I was greeted by a tossed up duvet and wrinkled bed shears.

I stared at the bed before looking around the room, confused on where Harry would be. My stomach started to get upset with nerves as I imagined Nicholas had him or could be doing something to him but was relieved to see Nicholas sleeping soundly in his bunk just yards away from me.

It took everything in me not to walk up and strangle him with the sheets or something barbaric like that. I laughed at my thoughts, making sure to stay quiet as I walked out of the bunks and down the long, cold hallway. I stopped at the bathrooms for a moment before I immediately ran in after I heard quiet sobs coming from the lit up room.

I rushed in, looking for the source of the noise. "Harry?" I whispered, concern rushing through me. My heart instantly dropped as I turned a corner to see Harry sitting up against a wall with his arms wrapped around himself and tears falling down his face.

I was quick to rush to his side, falling down next to him. "Oh, Harry. What's wrong?" I asked softly as I wrapped my arms around him and cradled him in my arms.

"I'm so scared, Louis." He cried, clutching onto my shirt. I felt my shirt getting wet from his tears but that was the least of my worries. "Love, I know you are. Sh, it's okay." I held him tightly to me, letting my fingers soothingly run through his brown hair.

His body was shaking against mine and my heart ached for the younger boy in my arms. "I-I don't want anything to happen." He stuttered, sniffing his nose a bit.

"What don't you want to happen?" I soothingly said, trying my best to get his sobs to quit. "I-I don't want anything to happen to you, I d-don't want anything to happen to me." A loud sob escaped his lips. "I don't want to die, Lou." He whispered, burying his head in my chest.

The thought of that happening brought tears to my eyes. "I won't let anything happen to you, love. You're not going to die." I reassured. 

"I-I don't want you to die. I'm so scared, I don't want to be here." He said louder now, his voice hoarse from crying. I rocked the boy back and forth in my arms, letting the tears escape my eyes. "Nothing's going to happen to me, I'm going to stay right here with you through it all. I'm gonna be the one to protect you, you're not going through this alone." I managed out, looking at the white wall ahead of me. 

"Y-you don't know that, Louis." Harry whispered, repositioning his head on my chest. "You're right, I don't. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to try. Just think about it, a month from now we'll be back in Holmes Chapel with your mum and sister, how does that sound?" I asked, rubbing his back.

"I miss them, so much. I miss home." Harry said. I've never seen Harry this vulnerable before and it was breaking my heart because this wasn't my confident, silly Harry.

I nodded, understanding him. "I know, babe. I'll make this feel like home." I held him tighter to me, resting my chin on the top of his head. 

"Never stop holding me like this." Harry whispered, closing his eyes. I shook my head, "I never will. I'll never leave you, promise."


	29. Tranquility

May 22nd, 1940  
Two Days until the Battle of Dunkirk

We all sat in rows in a bigger building that I haven't ever been in before now. There were dozens upon hundreds of men. I had Louis sitting next to me, our thighs touching and his hand grazing upon my thigh every once in awhile which calmed my nerves I seemed to have all the time now.

It was now late evening and our Commander-In-Chief was going over simple instructions about what would be happening the next couple days. Today was our last day of training and we were to leave our training camp tomorrow. To say I was beyond scared was an understatement.

"Approximately 6:00 tomorrow morning we will be starting to depart soldiers, make sure you are ready and outside near the training centre by then." The authority in Chief's voice was clear as he paced back and forth in front of us with his shoulders high. 

I made a mental note of all this, trying to keep my attention on the older man in front of me. My knee was bouncing up and down and I felt Louis lightly place his hand on it, squeezing my knee and I smiled a bit to myself.

After another twenty minutes we were all released to go back to our bunks. I walked with Louis next to me. I haven't talked to Jayden since the incident but luckily there were no more problems from Nicholas, but I still felt off when I was around him.

When we arrived to our bunks I grabbed my luggage, throwing it on my bunk and going through it to make sure that everything was there and in place. I opened up the zipper pocket that was in the luggage to make sure all the letters I had received from mum was there and I was glad that all of them were still neatly stacked. 

"You okay?" I heard Louis' soft voice ask and I nodded my head. "I'm as okay as you can get right now." I chuckled, zipping the pocket up and closing my luggage after taking out a clean pair of clothes. 

"You should probably get some sleep soon." Louis said and I nodded. "I will, don't worry." I replied, taking my luggage off my bed and setting it on the foot of my bunk. "Don't go wandering off tonight either." He chuckled and I smiled a bit to myself, remembering the events from earlier this morning. I had woken up in the middle of the night from another horrid dream. I was alright as I lied there but my thoughts swarmed my mind and I couldn't help the tears that had started to stream down my face and so I went to the bathrooms where I couldn't be heard. Even though my intentions weren't for Louis to find me there I was glad that he was quick to my side.

"Are you alright?" I asked, looking to Louis to see him standing there next to me. "I'm alright." He said, smiling at me and lightly touching the back of my hand with his. "Good." I smiled, looking at him. 

"Sleep with me tonight," I told Louis, wanting to hold him if this was going to be our last night together. "Please." I finished. Louis raised his eyebrows, "You know I can't." 

I shrugged. "So? Honestly, what can happen at this point? If tomorrow you won't be mine, won't you give this to me one last time." I told him, pleading for him to crawl into my bunk. "We can wait until everyone is asleep." I pleaded.

Louis smiled softly, nodding. "Okay." He said and my heart skipped a beat. I knew the next week or so was going to be tough and I wanted to forget about everything, if not for a little while. Holding Louis would bring me peace for the few hours I needed it.

I smiled at him and stood up, taking off my shirt and pants like I usually would any other night. I tore my shirt over my head before quickly replacing it with a clean one. I could feel eyes burning into my back since I was turned away from him and I felt shivers trace through my body.

The bruise was still visible but the colors seemed to be fading away, the pain was barely there now and I was thankful for that but I was still insecure about the large bruise.

After awhile candles started to burn out and the silence seem to take over the room. I blew out the candle next to our bunk before crawling into my bunk. I turned to Louis and held out my arms, motioning for him to crawl into them. Louis was quick to do so after checking his surroundings. 

I pulled the duvet over us and lied on my side, my back against Lou's chest. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. A smile grew on my face when I felt him nuzzle his face into my hair, sighing contently. 

"I never want this moment to end." I whispered, making sure my words were only audible for Lou. I turned around in his grip so I was now fully facing him. I took his free hand, that wasn't placed behind his head, and intertwined our fingers, loving the way we fit together so perfectly.

"I didn't know what heaven was until I met you." He whispered to me, his hot breath hitting my face. I blushed at his words, butterflies creeping in my stomach. "I love you." I told him, the way the words slipped off my tongue felt so right.

"I love you." Louis whispered, rubbing his thumb on my cheek. "Kiss me, Lou." I whispered, the proximity between us closing. Lou's eyes fluttered shut, his face beginning to come closer to mine. He closed the space between us, pushing his lips against mine and holding my face.

The way his lips molded into mine made my head feel light. I moved my hand up to his cheek, brushing the fringe away. After a moment, I pulled back, my eyes opening up and looking into the gorgeous blue that was Louis' eyes. "How did I ever get so lucky." I whispered to him and Louis blushed, leaning into my hand. 

"One more taste of your lips." He whispered, pressing his lips against mine again. I smiled within the kiss, giving him just as much passion as he was giving me. 

Our limbs were intertwined together, our chests pressed together. I was in utter tranquility right now and I wouldn't trade this moment for anything in the world. Lying here in Lou's hold, looking at each other in comfortable silence was going to be one of my favorite moments that I would never forget.

"Baby, let me love you goodbye." He whispered, trailing his hands down my back. I chuckled before pressing my lips against his one last time that night.


	30. Bombardment

May 23rd, 1940   
One Day until the Battle of Dunkirk 

"Wake up, love." I heard a soft voice whisper into my ear. I squinted my eyes open to see Louis lying there next to me, smiling at me. "Five more minutes." I mumbled, burying my face into the pillow. Lou chuckled next to me, playing with my hair.

"You can have five more minutes, but maybe you should release me from your death grip before everyone else wakes up here in a few minutes." Lou said and I blushed, pulling him closer to me and shaking my head, resting my head on his warm, tan chest.

"I don't want to let go, don't let me go." I mumbled into his chest. I felt him kiss the top of my forehead. "Babe, I need to get ready anyways." He said and I sighed, loosening my grip from him. I felt the bed shift as he got up and I poured, missing the warmth he gave me.

I rolled on my other side, opening my eyes up and watching Lou stretch before rubbing his eyes. It was so adorable when he was sleepy and I found myself smiling like an idiot at the other idiot I called the love of my life.

"It's gonna feel weird not being here anymore."  I told him, thinking back to all the things that has happened in the past few months. Lou calling the top bunk, thanksgiving, inviting him to my home, him finding out about my sexuality, me admitting my love to him and even us making love for the first time. So many things has happened and it would feel weird not sleeping in this bunk that I had grown so used to. 

"I agree, so many memories." He said, sitting on the edge of my bunk now. I nodded, looking up to him. "We can make new ones." I said, smiling. Louis smiled fondly at me before I heard the chatter coming around the room that people were now awaking. I huffed, sitting up in my bed. "So much more that five extra minutes of sleep." I muttered and Louis let out a loud laugh.

-

I sat down on the bus, letting Louis take the window seat. Everyone was loaded up in the busses that had arrived. I moved my hand to the side of me, taking Lou's and intertwining our fingers together. He looked at me, briefly smiling at me before looking back out the window. The motor to the busses started and we were soon moving. 

I had no clue what to expect when we got off the busses. I knew we would have a camp set up but I didn't know what the nights would bring, when the bombardments or attacks would bring, and how long this nonsense was going to last.

Trees and fields past us as we drove away from the place I called home for months. The sunrise looked beautiful but what was more beautiful was my sunshine looking at the sunrise. I wish I could capture the moment of the way looked staring out the window but sadly I would only be able to live in the moment for a few more moments because the motor to the engine was soon cut off and I was surprised how quick we had arrived.

Once the motor was cut off everyone began to load off the bus, making sure to grab their belongings. Huts and tents were set up along the bare foundation, nothing to be seen in the distance. The sun was beating down against my skin and I was very uncomfortable in the brown, heavy clothing I wore. 

"You alright?" Louis asked, walking next to me. I nodded, feeling the lump in my throat form. Was I alright? Far from it. I was completely terrified of the events to come. 

-

Night was soon to come and everyone was scattered around, trying to get comfy for sleep. Louis, me, and a few others were surrounded by a fire. I watched the flames roar to life and listening to the sounds the wood made, turning to ash. 

The night was chilly but the heat that radiated off the fire made it bearable. I sat there on a blanket, my arms around myself and my rifle to my side. "You shouldn't stare at the fire like that." Louis mumbled and I shrugged, not really caring. The light along with the heat burned my eyes but I was unable to looked away from the yellow, orange, and red colors. 

"Why don't you go to sleep?" Louis asked. The starts was shining through the sky along with the moon. Few other fires could be seen from the distance from where our other comrades had made one. "I can't sleep." I mumbled, itching at my arm. I pulled out my pocket watch to see it was 00:06. I sighed, putting it back in my pocket.

Today had been long. The sun was hot against our foreheads and we were all hungry. We were able to catch food such as fish from the river nearby and geese that we would quickly shoot down with our rifles, but it would take a hundred just to make everyone satisfied.

"I'm hungry." I whined, feeling my stomach grumble. "Here, drink this. The water will subside it, we can go hunt in the morning." Louis said, picking up his flask and handing it to me. I grabbed it, unscrewing the top and taking a drink, feeling the liquid burn against my throat that was scratching from dryness before.

I handed Louis the flask and he took it, taking a drink before screwing the lid back on and throwing it on the ground next to him. 

Lights caught my eyes, and I looked up to see different colors; white, red, green. I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering what on what they could be. Before long I felt the ground shake underneath me and I quickly got up, hearing screams in the distance. 

I soon realized that shells were flying across the air, landing in different directions. Above us the shells continue to whistle through the air. The bombardment has started.

Lou is quick to his feet next to me, grabbing my arm and running, me following behind him. My lungs burn inside my body as I carry my rifle with me, avoiding the smoke that seemed to be clouding the air and the fires that had broken out. Machine guns blast through the air and before long I am falling.

I am falling six feet down and I caught myself confused when I noticed our comrades all in the same, deep long rectangular dirt hole. I then noticed it was a trench. The adrenaline rush coursed through my veins as I stood up, watching the different lights and explosions that seem to come around us.

Everyone is falling into the trenches, seeking protection from the attack. Guns go off, aiming at the hover craft above us. On the surface, dust and dirt fly all over the place from the shots from the machine guns and I then find myself copying the actions of everyone else; taking my rifle and aiming at our enemies.

With each shot my body jolts, and I am scared to death. Smoke fills my lungs and I cough but I do not distract myself. My ears are ringing and my head feels light from the loud noises that seem to be coming all over.

Lou copies my actions as well, standing beside me and shooting up at the sky towards the hovercrafts. A man flies down from the air, falling into the ground beneath him. Bodies are lying all over the place and some bodies had be taken down inside the trench.

My body hurts and I am longing to stop shooting but I continue, reloading with new ammunition when need be. Before long though, silence drifts over us. We stand in the trench with dozens others, waiting for the second bombardment to come but it never does. 

After twenty minutes we decide it's safe. We climb out of the trench. Dirt is coated all along my skin and clothes and sweat is mixed in with it. I look around, seeing the bodies of my fellow comrades. It was as if my nightmares had come to life for this is what I exactly had imagined.

Everyone is shaken up and I find it hard to move my legs to carry me back to camp. Lou is still next to my side but no words are spoken. People stand around, taking in the fire, smoke, blood, bodies that seemed to be scattered around. Bodies that did not make it in time, bodies that were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The bodies are limited, for there is only a dozen and there are still hundreds of us standing around trying to comprehend what just happened.

Men start to move, taking the heads and shoulders of the lost ones and moving them to a different area so we would not have to watch the corpses lie there, rotting. 

Lou takes my hand, intertwining our fingers before walking, pulling me with him. I am unable to find words and I am unable to move anything else besides my legs as I followed him back. 

My eyes wandered the ground and the dead bodies. Two men walk past me, holding a corpse in their arms. I could not ever be able to hold or carry a dead person, I would never be able to do it.

The men passed and my eyes flickered to the corpse that they carried. My eyes widened as I looked at the blood that scattered the skin, the most blood coming from the head. The man's eyes were still open along with his jaw, his limbs limp and body lifeless. I watched them walk away with the corpse who's name was Nicholas.


	31. War

May 23rd, 1940  
First Day of the Battle of Dunkirk  
Five Hours after the Bombardment

Louis' Point of View

"Get some sleep, love. You haven't slept since yesterday morning." I explained softly to Harry, clearly worried about him. Ever since the end of the bombardment Harry hadn't spoken a word. Jayden and a few other of our comrades were out hunting for food. I would have went with them but I was far too worried about Harry's state.

Jayden wasn't too happy about Nicholas' death since they were such great friends even though they had their disagreements. I hadn't tried to talk to Jayden yet but I would make sure to do so later when he came back. 

Harry sat there on a blanket, looking blankly in front of us. The cloth of our tent shadowed us and the candles that were lit radiated the area with light. The sun bad began to rise but it was still fairly dark for it was only 05:00. 

"Talk to me, Harry." I begged, squatting in front of him and looking up to him. Dirt covered his flawless skin and he looked straight ahead, not sparing me a glance. The bombardment had startled us all and even scared us but it was clear Harry's mental state was not fit for this.

I took the flask from beside me, trying to force them into his hands. "At least drink something, you'll get dehydrated." I said softly. His hands lied limp when I tried to put the flask in his and I groaned to myself, standing up after setting the flask down beside him.

"I'll be back." I mumbled, even though I'm sure he didn't acknowledge the words I said as I stepped out of the beige tent. Off to the far right I could see the small pile of bodies that started to form. We made sure that they were quite far so we wouldn't have to smell the decaying bodies in the hot sun. 

"Do you need help with anything out here?" I asked a man named Andrew who was only about an inch taller than me with porcelain skin and short, blonde hair. "No, I think we're good out here. Others went to the river bank to attempt to wash up if you want to." He offered and I shook my head even though the dirt was present on my arms and hands. I was only wearing a white shirt and my brown pants, the pants as well being covered in dirt. "I'll be fine, I will later or something. Don't wanna leave Harry." I told him and he nodded, understanding.

"Understand that. How's the lad doing?" He asked, looking behind me towards the tent where Harry stayed put. I shrugged, combing my fingers through my knotted here. "Dunno, haven't gotten a word out of him. I'm worried about him." I said in all honesty. Andrew nodded, watching me as I talked. "Don't sweat it, none of us is doing too good in this heat. Hopefully the group will be back with game so we can finally eat." He said.

I nodded, my stomach starting to growl. Andrew chuckled at the sound. "We have a bucket of wild berries over there that we managed to pick out of a nearby bush if you want to partake in some." He offered and I smiled gratefully, nodding. "Thanks, I appreciate it, and Harry..." I trailed off. "Get him some too, he needs it. Take care of him, Louis. I don't know what the kid would do without you." Andrew said patting my shoulder, giving me a thoughtful smile. 

"Alright, thank you. Take care of yourself." I told him and he smiled at me, nodding his head. I started walking away from him and towards an area where there were others sitting around a fire to give us light. Buckets of water were scattered around and people were filling up their flasks with it.

I went over to the medal bucket and looked in to see a different arrangement of blueberries and raspberries. I took out a piece of cloth I had in my back pocket and took a couple handfuls, making sure not to be too greedy. I popped a few berries in my mouth, feeling relieved at the sweet, tart taste they gave. 

I stood up with the handful of berries wrapped in the cloth and walked back over towards the tent. The sky was a lighter blue now and different colors of orange were seen over the horizon as the sun poked up over it. 

Walking in the tent, I seen Harry sitting there, with the flask in his hands and taking a swig of the water. I was grateful that he was getting something in his body for the sun would only make the day hot and unbearable.

I sat down next to Harry, stretching my legs out in front of me. "I got these." I said, unraveling the cloth and motioning for him to take some. His eyes flickered down to them and he wetted his chapped lips. "Take some, you got to eat something." I said and was glad to see Harry take a few berries in his hands and throwing them in his mouth, chewing slowly.

My shoulder rubbed up against his and even though Harry had still said no words I was grateful that he was at least eating. "The group should be back soon with game. I'll make sure to bring you something, okay?" I told him and he nodded. I relaxed my tense muscles, happy that he had reacted towards my words. 

"Why not get some rest?" I offered, hoping he would accept it. Harry sighed next to me, his eyes going towards the ground. "I don't want to go to sleep and then something to happen." He mumbled, his voice being low and raspy. "I'll stay up, right here next to you. You won't have a thing to worry about." I reassured. "You must be exhausted." I added. 

"Here," I started, clearing off my lap. "Lie down, I'll be right here when you wake up." I promised. Harry reluctantly did so, repositioning himself and lying his head gently on my lap. I pushed the hair off his forehead, leaning up against a wooden base that held support for the tent. Thankfully, the wood was strong enough to not snap or move under my weight.

"I'll be right here, I won't let you go." I whispered, watching as Harry let his eyes flutter shut. It didn't even take a minute when I heard the soft snores coming from him and I smiled to myself, shutting my eyes as well and letter the darkness take over me.

-

Hours later I woke up to Harry shifting in my hold. The sun was now blazing through the cloth of the tent. Somehow while sleeping we had managed to lie down on the ground with me holding Harry to my chest.

I was pleasantly refreshed than what I had been earlier even though it was only a few hours of sleep we had gotten. It had to be past noon by now and I was thankful no one disturbed us. Harry shifted in my hold, turning around and fluttering his eyes open. "Hi." He mumbled and I smiled, happy that Harry was coming around.

"Hi." I laughed, feeling a smile take over my face. I grazed my cheek over a dirt spot on his face. "We should probably get you washed up." I offered and Harry nodded, sitting up and stretching. The hard ground was uncomfortable against my back as I felt the ache.

I grabbed my flask, taking a drink of water and giving it to Harry. We stood up and I grabbed a fresh pair of clothes from what I had brought with us. Harry followed me actions and we walked out of the tent, Harry being behind me. I looked over to see Andrew roasting something above the fire. Jayden and the group was surrounded by the fire, plucking feathers out of the geese they had managed to catch. There were quite a lot of game and I was already wanting to dig into the meat.

"Come on." I mumbled, walking over to the river bank that was yards away. Harry followed me. There were a few men at the end of the body of water, splashing and having fun. I couldn't find myself to do such things though.

I placed my clothes on a rock next to Harry's before I tore off my shirt, throwing it off to the side and taking off my brown, laced up boots and pants leaving me in my briefs. Harry followed along, smirking to himself as he watched my body. I blushed, starting to walk into the body of water. "I knew the cheeky bastard I love was in there somewhere." I laughed, letting the warm water clean off my skin. The river was pretty deep, coming half way up my chest. But of course it wasn't as deep to Harry as he walked in, the water only coming below his chest. 

Harry walked over to me and I smiled as the proximity between us shrank. I took my hand out of the water, putting it up to his face and wiping away the dirt spots. Harry watched me as I did so and I let my concentration go to his face, not letting him distract me. I let my hands go down his jaw, feeling the light stubble that had began to grow. Even with stubble his face seemed to look bare and his skin looked as soft as a baby's.

The dirt began to wash away under my touch, my hands gently grazing over his forehead to get the brown spots off. My heart picked up under his intense gaze and I looked up in his eyes. His lips were parted slightly and his eyes were focused on my face.

My hands dunk back in the water and I rested them on his chest, making sure there wasn't any dirt. My fingers touched lightly over his collarbones before I focused my attention back to him. "I want to kiss you so bad right now." I mumbled, knowing that we were yards away from camp but the men at the end of the river made me nervous.

Harry's lips moved upwards, forming a smile. His larger hand made its way up to my neck, his thumb moving over my jawline. My breath seemed to stop for a moment for his actions made me feel light headed and gave me an immense amount of butterflies. "Shut up and kiss me you fool." He mumbled. A small laugh escaped my lips as I reached up and pressed my lips against his. His chapped lips were rough against mine but I couldn't find myself to give a damn because the kiss still gave me the same energy that I craved.

My hands went to his sides, gripping the skin there and his hand found his way to my hair. Harry bent down and turned his head, deepening the kiss. I couldn't help the nervousness that someone could be watching but right now, what did I have to lose? Because it's inevitable that everything that's good comes to an end.

-

I felt awake and good since I had gotten myself cleaned up. I sat next to Harry with a few other men, digging into the goose they had caught and cooked up. Jayden had been quiet and I still wanted to talk to him to see if there's anything I could do for him because even though Nicholas was a total ass, he was still Jayden's friend and I couldn't imagine having to lose one of my friends. I didn't want to put him in an awkward situation and talk to him here in front of everyone though.

 

Harry's been in a better mood since being down at the river and I blushed as I remembered kissing him there, even though it was only a couple hours ago. I threw the bone to the leg I was eating to the side, taking a drink of water. "It's been pretty quiet lately." Andrew said, looking up to the sky and squinting.

"Hopefully it'll stay this way, too. I don't know if I could handle another attack." An older man, whose name I believed was Joe, said. "Just give it time and stay alert, it's bound to happen again." Another man said. 

"I know some people who are hanging out in the trenches just in case. Isn't a bad idea but I also don't want to stand in a hole all day either." Andrew said, chuckling a bit to himself. 

"Watch out!" Joe yelled and I stood up quickly, feeling the ground shake beneath me. Harry was quick to get up to as he stood up, making sure his rifle was close to him. People started to run as an abnormal gas filled the air. "Grab my hand and don't ever drop it." I demanded before taking Harry's hand in mine and running towards the trench. The gas found its way into my lungs and I found myself growing weak and light headed. 

"Louis!" Andrew yelled and I turned around, grabbing the two gas masks he had thrown. I quickly put it over my face, breathing heavily and Harry followed my actions, doing the same before gripping my hand again. We started to run, the ground shaking beneath us as more shells flew through the sky. 

As I ran I knew that the second bombardment had begun and that this was war.


	32. Afraid

Harry's Point of View

I ran after Louis, my lungs felt as if they were on fire. With each step closer to the trench I found myself hopeful that we would make it in time.

Louis' hand escaped mine as he stumbled to the ground, trying to regain his balance but being unsuccessful. It took me a moment to realize what had happened as I turned around. The dirt would fly up whenever a bullet would land and I was hopeful I wouldn't be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I scrambled over to Louis, pulling him up by his arms. Louis was quick to his feet and I grabbed his hand, me being the one to pull him along this time towards the trench.

Fifty yards. Forty five yards. The trench was so unbelievably close but yet so far. The gas mask around my face was suffocating but at the same time without it I would be dead on the ground from the gas that still seemed to fuse through the air. 

Twenty five yards. Beads of sweat could be felt trickling down my neck and my legs started to hurt with each step I took. Louis' hand was firm in mine as we both ran as fast as we could.

Ten yards. We were so close, so undeniably close. Our comrades could be seen from the trench. Bodies were scattered around the ground, blood all over the place. The blood soaked through the dirt, staining it. 

Five yards. I ran as fast as I could, making sure Louis was still behind me. Before long I was falling into the trench, Louis falling next to me.

Our comrades start to shoot at our enemies. Fires are breaking out, the ground is being blown up with each shell that reaches the surface. The ground is shaking beneath my feet almost as if it was an earthquake.

I drop my rifle, falling to the ground. I couldn't take it anymore. The dead bodies, the bombs going off, the gas that floated through the air. I put my hands on my head, wishing for it all to end. I would rather be dead than be here.

I ripped the gas mask off my face, breathing heavily. The gas burned my eyes and I shut them tightly, pulling my hands to my head and holding my ears closed, waiting for it all to end. Tears streamed down my face and I found myself feeling lightheaded. My body was shaking and my head was hurting. I wanted to take my rifle and just put a bullet through my head to end it all but I knew I couldn't, I didn't have the guts to do that. 

My body felt like it was shutting down as the gas entered my nostrils and clouded my body. I could see black dots envelop my vision and it seemed like the world was spinning as my eyes trailed over to Louis. Louis held his rifle in his hands, shooting aimlessly. His head snapped over to me though and he was quick to drop it, falling to his knees next to me. Louis was the last thing I saw before darkness took over me.

-

Louis' Point of View   
Two Hours Later   
16:00

I paced back and forth in the larger tent, waiting for Harry to wake up. It's been two hours, two fucking hours and he hasn't moved or woke up. It was killing me knowing that he was lying there helpless on a pile of blankets. He looked peaceful though as lied there, his arms resting over his torso and his face relaxed.

"Mate, it'll be fine, just give it time. The gas will wear off." He reassured, resting his hand on my shoulder. I turned towards him, throwing his arm off of me. "How do you know that?! It's been two hours and he hasn't woken up! How could he be so stupid?! Why would he just take off his mask like that?!" I cried, throwing my hands up in the air. 

"Just give it time, it's only been two hours. He's still breathing, he's going to be okay." Andrew reassured and I sighed, relaxing my body and narrowing my eyes at the boy who lied in front of me. I bent down to my knees and sat down next to him, combing his hair away off his forehead. 

"Wake up, love." I begged, not caring that Andrew was right behind me listening.

Three Hours Later  
19:00

I rested my head on my hand, watching Harry with my free hand rested on his. My body felt numb and I felt lifeless. I missed his gorgeous smile, his green eyes, and his dimples. I miss holding him the way I did earlier and I wanted him to wake up.

I hummed to myself, filling up the silent air. Everyone was outside, laughing, chatting and eating but I couldn't bring myself to do such things. My appetite was nonexistent and I couldn't bring a smile to my face.

His chest rose slowly up and down, the only signs that told me he was still alive. I was exhausted as I lied there looking at the sleeping beauty in front of me.

Four Hours Later   
23:00

Everyone had gone to bed by now, the rest of the day was calm for the most part. The fires outside had died down and it was now silent, the only noise coming from the crickets that chirped.

I grabbed the cloth next to me, wetting it with water and resting it over Harry's forehead, in fear that he could be hot. 

I could see his eyes move under his eyelids, almost as if he was having some sort of dream. I squeezed his hand, sighing. I missed the sound of his voice. "I love you." I whispered to him, placing a soft kiss on his forehead before resting my head back on my head, finally letting myself fall asleep.

Three Hours Later  
02:00

"Lou..." I heard a voice call out. I opened up my eyes and snapped my head up, relieved to see Harry awake, staring at the ceiling above him.

I quickly say up, taking his hand in mine. "I'm here, baby." I whispered to him. "Am I dead?" He whispered and I furrowed my eyebrows, shaking my head. "No, I- why would you think that?" I asked, relieved to hear his voice. I quickly grabbed the flask next to me, motioning for him to take a drink but he denied the request, shoving it weakly out of my way.

"Why am I not dead?" He cried, his voice hoarse from the lack of water. Tears started to stream down his face and I dropped the flask to the ground and my hands flew up to his face, wiping them away gently with my thumbs. My heart was breaking as I watch him lie there, shaking.

"Why are you saying these things? You're awake and you're okay." I told him. His eyes were red and the green in them were a duller shade than usual. Harry shook his head, bringing his lip in between his teeth to try and control his sobs.

"I'd rather be dead than be here." He whispered and my heart broke, the first tear escaping my eyes and falling down my face.


	33. Thoughts

Harry's Point of View  
Two Days Later  
May 25th, 1940 

I watch as Lou lied there next to me, sleeping peacefully. I couldn't bring myself to move to hold him. It was funny because here I was in war but it was as if what was going on in my head was a different type of war.

I thought about all the dead bodies, the blood that stained the dirt. I thought about how that moment in the trench all I wanted to do was die because it's true, I do not want to be here. Dying would be better than this.

But I also think about Louis and how happy he makes me, and how I hope to go home to my mum and Gemma. 

I think about how startled I was whenever the bombardments came unexpectedly. I thought about how I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. I was in constant fear all the time because I never know what would happen. I didn't know when the bombardment would begin, when it would end, and if I would last or not.

The skies have been quiet the last two days and Jayden, Andrew and more of our comrades had been bring back lots of game to keep our stomach full. I couldn't find myself to eat though. I couldn't find myself to talk either. I felt empty and numb. Lou would force me to eat but other than that I couldn't do it myself.

All the dead bodies that I have seen were engraved in my head, each lifeless face. Images of heads being blown off and limbs scattering the ground made me want to throw up everything in me.

Nothing felt the same anymore. Going home didn't feel like it would happen, loving Louis didn't feel like a reality, being alive didn't feel real because I felt half dead. 

Lou tried his best to cheer me up, trying to crack jokes but the smile that would be on my face was forced along with the laughter I managed.

Looking at the beauty next to me made me wonder why I would think these insane things about death because I had everything I ever wanted right next to me. He was my world, my breath, and my smile and I didn't know what I would do if he left me.

I loved Louis and if it meant fighting through this just to go home with Louis then everything would be worth it, it would be worth everything. I was just a depressed mess that wish this would all end.

I thought about a bunch of different things. I thought about how my mum told Louis that I was gay on accident. I thought about going down to the bakery and buying him that huge chocolate cake for his birthday that we never ate, and then I thought about how I bought Louis the golden bracelet.

My eyes flickered down to his bracelet where the shiny piece of medal still lied. He wore it everyday and seeing him with it made me smile. 

My thoughts wandered off to him sitting down with me on Train 43, the first time we met. I remembered the nicknames we had given each other the first day we met when he had declared the top bunk was his. 'Lou and Haz' , 'Haz and Lou.' They seemed to fit perfectly together and I missed the way he called me Haz. 

I also thought about how we sat out in the field that one day and I almost told him that I was gay, saying boyfriends instead of girlfriends but was quick to cover it up. That moment seemed like it was an eternity ago and those were the moments that I missed when I really didn't have anything to worry about because the war was months away.

I also thought about asking him to marry me. I remembered the way the words fell from my mouth all at once and I couldn't stop myself, and Louis saying yes, Louis saying that he would marry me, made everything I've ever done that much more worth it.

"I think about how much I love you. And if I could I would count a thousand constellations for you. And it is inevitable how much I will forever love you, and I also think about different scenarios for the next month. I think about what will happen when we go home, if you will still love me. I think about getting a house on the hillside with you, I think about staring at you in front of the Eiffel Tower and how beautiful you would look if we ever got to visit. I think of all these different scenarios and some of them excite me, some of them scare me. But I wouldn't take any of this away, ya know. If someone just popped up in the air and said that I could turn back one year ago and not turn in my papers for this horrible thing called war then I wouldn't do it. I couldn't do it because I wouldn't have gotten to stumble across you. We wouldn't have sat down on Train 43 talking about ourselves and getting to know each other. And I'm not even sure where I got the audacity to be saying these things, and I'm also not sure what tomorrow will bring. I'm not sure if it will rain or if the sun will shine all day. I'm not sure if I will make it through this mess and I'm also not sure if I will ever get to go home. But I would also make it my undying wish for you to go home and be okay, even if I am not by your side. And I know I have all these scary thoughts about death and my chances of making it out of this, but really my chances are just as good as yours are, or Jayden's, or even Nicholas' or our allies. My chances of making it out is as good as yours and I pray we are one of the two people to make it home together because a life without you would kill me in every way possible. All of my twenty-three years of living was me learning to live half a life until I met you. You will forever always be in my heart and the minute I saw you, you took my breath away and I never imagined I would be siting here with the boy I am madly in love and I am not sure if I should be saying these next couple words." 

"Marry me."

I thought about the vows that I had given him in case we didn't make it through this horrible thing called war. I told him my vows and I meant every word with all my heart.

"I vow to love you until I take my last breath, and I vow to always be by your side. I promise to give you the best of myself every day. I promise to respect and love you and I promise the last thing I will ever give you is my heart, for my heart already belongs to you and if I could give you the world I would along my last dying breath. I vow to be the best for you because you only deserve the best. I vow to never give up on us even during our darkest and hardest times. I will want you forever and always, through the good and the bad and the happy. I will love you forever and always, whether rich or for poor or for better. Because from day one I have been madly in love with you, Louis Tomlinson."

I had each word engraved into my head in case I would be able to say such things to Louis if we ever got married. All these thoughts swarmed my mind and I found myself cracking a smile by the endless possibilities. 

I then seen familiar colors in the sky through the thin cloth of the tent. Red, white, green. They shot through the sky like a firework or a shooting star and I found myself gazing up fondly at them. Not until I felt the familiar shake of the ground.


	34. Massacre

Harry's Point of View 

The earth rattled beneath me and I felt myself freeze because there it was again, our next bombardment by our allies. I panicked, almost as if I was having a heart attack. Louis got up quickly, an inhuman noise fell from his lips as his eyes grew wide.

"Harry, Harry get up." He cried, racing to his feet and grabbing my hand. I stayed still, not feeling the need to get up because I wanted death to welcome me. I wanted to be wiped off this earth. "Harry!" Louis screamed, pulling me up by my arms and grabbing my hand, dragging me along with him. 

I followed behind him as my body took over, my natural human instincts telling me to run and get the fuck away. I ran and my head was pounding. My body was weak and I knew I wasn't hydrated. 

Everyone was screaming and crying as grenades fell, blowing up moments later. The blow of a grenade made me fall to my feet. 

I opened my eyes to see the blood that was surrounding me and at first I thought it was my blood but I looked beside me to see a corpse staring back at me, blood covering its face and I couldn't make out who it was before Louis was pulling me.

"Harry!" Louis shouted, tears escaping his face.  I was knocked out of the trance I was in by another blow of a grenade and I quickly scurried to my feet, standing back up. I was not equipped with anything, I didn't have a helmet on me nor did I have my rifle. 

Everything was being annihilated, everything was being destroyed. Bodies ran and dropped from machine guns shooting at them from the skies and our allies that seemed to have taken over camp. Familiar faces ran, trying to get to the trench where they would be covered and ready to shoot.

It was like a massacre. People were jumping in the trench ahead of us and I found myself running even faster because Jesus Christ, I was scared beyond words. 

I looked over to see Jayden, lying there on the ground with blood soaking through his torso. He wasn't dead, he was still alive. I found myself stopping and pulling my hand from Louis' and running back to Jayden. I dodged whatever came at me. 

A grenade went off and I flew to the ground. I hissed in pain and cried out as I felt my leg begin to ache. I was sure that I had fractured it but I got back up, the adrenaline rushing trough me was enough to ignore the pain.

"Harry! Come back here!" Louis cried, stopping in his tracks. I ignored him though as I approached Jayden.

Blood was all over his torso, blood coming out of his mouth. He was unable to speak as he lied there, staring up at me. His body was jolting and shaking and his eyes were screaming in pain. 

"We have to help him!" I cried, lifting him up by both of his arms and beginning to drag me. "No! Harry. We can't save him, not now." Louis said, forcing me to let go of Jayden. Tears streamed down my face as I screamed, pushing him off of me.

"I need- I need to help him. He's family." I sobbed, attempting to drag his muscular weight against the ground. 

I was being grabbed by behind my torso and my hands unhooked from Jayden's arms. I was being pulled back and I cried as the last bullets flew through Jayden, his body lying limp on the ground now.

I turned around, running after Louis. We were getting so close to the trench, so, so close. The bullets flew all over the place. Shells and grenades were exploding.

We arrived to the trench to see dozens of men in it, shooting at our allies. As I jumped in I felt a striking pain through my torso. I ignored it though, landing on my feet in the trench.

Lou grabbed a rifle from a dead comrade in the trench, taking it and aiming at our enemies. His body jerked as he pulled the trigger and I found myself sitting down.

My whole body was is in pain and I let my hand wander to my stomach. I felt a warm liquid and pulled my hand back to see blood was everywhere.

Louis' Point of View

I held the rifle in my hand, aiming at our enemies. My head was pounding along with my heart against my chest. I couldn't make out who were our enemies and who were our comrades. Bodies were everywhere, piling up on the ground. 

From beside me I heard a cry of pain. I snapped my head to see Harry sitting there. Blood was everywhere, blood was fucking everywhere. It was soaking through his white shirt and it was all over his hands.

I threw the rifle down, falling to his side. "L-Lou, it hurts." Harry cried. I took my hands and placed it against the shot that tore through his stomach. The bleeding wouldn't stop and the bullet was so, so deep. 

"I-I'm not ready to go. Kiss it better, Lou." Harry cried, shaking. I wrapped my arms around the boy. Sobs came from my body as I watch him lie there helpless in my arms. Blood was getting all over me but I didn't care because I was holding the one I loved in my arms. "I-I'm sorry, Harry." I shouted, anger and sadness coursing through me. "I-I couldn't protect you, not this time." Guilt raced through me and I felt like this wasn't real because this couldn't be happening. 

"Tell me something I can hold on to forever and never let go." He whispered to me. "Let go." I whispered, pressing my lips against his.

Harry was in pain, he was trembling in my arms and I wanted to take all of this away from him. 

I could taste the salty tears mixed within the kiss that fell from my eyes. Harry barely kissed back, too weak to be doing so. 

"I-I didn't imagine that this is what dying would feel like." He breathed out, leaning his head back against my arm and wincing at the pain the gun shots gave his torso. I smiled through my tears. "Oh, Haz, I want to take this away from you." I cried, running my hands through his hair. "Jesus, fuck. I love you, so, so much." I told him.

I held Harry in his arms, loud sobs coming from my mouth as I watched Harry lie there, looking up towards the sky, his chest slowly going up and down. 

"Lou, don't leave me. Stay with me until I fall asleep." He said, barely audible. I shook my head, tightening my grip around the boy who bled to death in my arms.

"I won't, I never will leave you. I'll make this feel like home."


	35. Dagger & Rose (Epilogue)

Harry Edward Styles passed away May 25th, 1940 at 21:53 giving his last breath to Louis William Tomlinson due to being shot in the torso and bleeding out. Louis held his lover in his arms for hours, watching Harry slowly waste away in front of his eyes. 

After the Battle of Dunkirk was over, June 4th, 1940, Louis went back to Holmes Chapel. He had found his way to Harry's home and was greeted by fake smiles that didn't seem to reach the eyes of Gemma and Anne, but nevertheless they were happy to see Louis.

Louis was pulled into a hug by Anne and he immediately started sobbing, holding onto the older lady's blouse. "He promised, he promised he wouldn't leave me." He cried as she soothed him by rubbing his back. "I know, honey. I know." She would whisper into his ear. 

Louis spent a lot of his time with Harry's family as they tried to find closure of his passing. Louis had went with them to Harry's funeral a week and a half after his passing, June 7th. It was a hard time for everyone who arrived. His family across England had showed up after receiving letters of his passing. 

Louis cried as he approached Harry's casket and he couldn't help but lay his hand along his, his skin as cold as ice. Harry looked peaceful as he lied there, lips closed and eyes shut; oh, how Louis would miss looking into Harry's green eyes. His skin was a slightly lighter shade than what Louis had remembered it; more pale and porcelain while before it was tan and radiant.

Louis slid his hand into his suit's jacket, grabbing the paper out and unfolding it, scanning over the written words that were his vows to Harry he had written days after his death. He slid the white paper under Harry's hand ice cold hand.

Harry, I vow to never give up. I vow to make myself a better person every day because that is what you would have wanted from me. I promise to take care of your family and I promise to never forget you. I will love you unconditionally until the day I die even though you are not here by my side any longer.   
Yours sincerely, Louis.

Louis remembered the words he had written as he smiled softly, tears falling down his face. He looked at Harry lie there with flowers surrounding him. He looked perfect with his curls framing his lifeless face and the black suit that he wore. 

Louis cried, not hiding the tears that escaped his face as he realized he had lost the light in his life. His thumb rubbed against Harry's cheek as he bent down, placing a firm kiss on Harry's forehead. 

With a shaky breath he stood up, his heart aching in his chest that was shattered into pieces. It was because they were two parts of a whole and it was never about being with someone, it was about being together. But now they are two worlds apart.

Louis lied the single rose he brought along Harry's chest, moving one of his hands to where it looked as if he was holding it along with the paper. It hardly felt real that Harry was gone and out of his life. He thought back of all the things they said they would do together after the war was over.

He couldn't help but falling down to his knees in a heap of sobs as they lied Harry down to rest a day after. Anne was quick to his side, both sobbing and Anne comforting Louis. The tears that would stream down the older boy's face seemed infinite, his face red and eyes puffy from the night's cry as well where he would cuddle with a pillow and pretend it was Harry next to him.

Each night he would find himself crying to sleep in Harry's old bed, for he had no where else to go. Louis never did reconnect with his mother and that time when him and Harry went to go get eggs was the last time he ever saw her. 

Each day wasn't any easier than the last. Each day he would miss Harry just a little bit more. He would soon learn to live with the undying pain he felt. 

He thought back to when Harry had promised them that they would travel the world together by each other's side, trying new foods they've never had before, doing things they've never done. 

That's exactly what Louis did. Two years after Harry's death he got a job and saved up the money so he could travel across the world visiting places he's never been such as Paris, Rome, and New York. He tried foods he never thought he'd ever eat such as oysters and calamari (which Louis had not enjoyed at all.)

Every time he did something new he always thought of Harry and how beautiful he would look staring up at the Eiffel Tower next to Louis, the sun glowing off his face and the deep dimples that would also be there as his smile was wider than ever. But he only had the memory.

After traveling Louis was able to save up to buy a small home on the hillside in Holmes Chapel where it was peaceful.

Louis smiled down at the bracelet that still was on his wrist, wearing it every single day. Thinking back to almost three years ago when his boy had bought him it for Christmas. Louis stared at the small engraving on it, his fingers grazing over it. "Je t'aime. H." He could not stop himself from the memories that clouded his mind that made his eyes glassy with tears.

Louis never loved the same again, not after Harry of course. He had changed the older boy's life for the better and he would always be in his heart. He would always have the memories they both shared during the short eight or so months that they were together. 

He thought back to the phrase Harry said years ago. Nothing ever ends poetically. That was the truth.

Nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry. All that blood was never once beautiful, it was just red. 

THE END


	36. Dunkirk Soundtrack & Meanings

These are all the songs that I would listen to while updating each chapter. These are the songs that gave me inspiration. These are the songs that make me think of Dunkirk Harry and Louis. I hope you take a listen and enjoy these songs the way I did. If you don't want to listen to these songs I gave song quotes and explanations (for most) for why those quotes strongly corresponds with the book. Thank you. 

A Thousand Years - Christina Perri (Theme song for the book) 

 

A Drop In The Ocean - Ron Pope  
"I was praying that you and me might end up together. It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the dessert. But I'm holding you closer than most because you are my heaven." Harry is all that Louis had. Louis was hoping to go home with Harry and do all the things they planned to do but that never happened. Harry passed away and now Harry is Louis' Heaven.

Without Him - Christina Grimmie   
"Right from the start he lured me in. Took me to places I've never been. I think I'm in love." Harry showed Louis all new things in life. He taught Louis how to love and he gave Louis something to live for. He fell in love with Lou.  
"I'm just imagining a life without my baby and I know, I know this life ain't meant to be lived without him." Louis had something to live for when he met Harry. Louis had no one, not even a family because he was gay and they did not approve of him; they outcasted him. Harry gave him a whole new life and even brought people along with it like Anne and Gemma. His life wasn't meant to be lived without him but now since Harry is gone has can feel nothing but pain, anger, and sadness. But at least he now has Gemma and Anne. 

 

Deception - Christina Grimmie  
de·cep·tion  
dəˈsepSH(ə)n/  
noun  
the action of deceiving someone.  
"What I would do, what I would do to be loved by, by you."  
"You didn't ever care for me. So now I'm sitting wondering why."   
A more personal song between Louis and his relationship with his mother. 

A.M. - One Direction  
"Won't you stay 'til the A.M., all my favorite conversations always made in the A.M." It was always at night that Louis and Harry got to be themselves around each other. They had  
to keep their love a secret. In the middle of the night they were able to stay up with each other while everyone was oblivious, even if they only got a few minutes with each other.

You & I - One Direction  
"You & I, we don't want to be like them. We can make it until the end. No nothing can come between You & I." They let nothing come between them. Even though their relationship was hard a lot of the times they made it until the end. Their whole relationship was a secret and a lot of the times they had to act as if nothing was going between them but behind closed doors they were inseparable.

Love You Goodbye - One Direction  
"Even though it's over you should stay the night. If tomorrow you won't be mine, won't you give it to me one last time? Oh, baby let me love you goodbye." The next day was never promised. They had to live each day as if it were the last. During the war anything could've happened. 

If I Could Fly - One Direction  
"If I could fly, I would come right back home to you." Harry is gone, if Louis could he would come and visit Harry but he cannot.   
"For your eyes only, I show you my heart." Louis was the only one who got to see Harry's love vice versa since they had to keep it a secret so no one else could see.   
"I'm missing half of me when we're apart." Harry is dead, Louis' other half is gone.

Give Me Love - Ed Sheeran   
"Give me love like never before 'cause lately I've been craving more. And it's been awhile but I still feel the same." Months went by without any physical contact between Harry and Louis. One night they were finally able to come back together as one as if nothing had changed between them. Louis gave Harry love.

For You - Demi Lovato  
"For you, I'd do anything for you. Nail my heart to the ceiling, put my fist through a wall." Basically Harry and Louis would do anything for each other no matter what it was.

Be Alright - Ariana Grande  
"Midnight shadows, when finding love is a battle. But daylight is so close so don't you worry about a thing." Midnight; when they could show their love for each other. Daylight would soon come but they didn't have to worry about a thing.   
"Baby, don't you know all them tears are going to come and go. Baby, you just gotta make up your mind that every little things gonna be alright." Sounds a lot like when Harry and Louis would promise each other that everything is going to be okay, even through the bad times when tears would come.

Camouflage - Selena Gomez  
"Remember when we'd talk all night? But time ain't easy on us, how can love die?" Again, Louis and Harry would spend their nights together, hidden.   
"You were mine just yesterday, now I have no idea who you are. It's like your camouflage" Harry is camouflage to the world now, he is gone. Louis thinks back on when just yesterday he was with his love and now the next day he cannot see Harry because he's dead.   
"But it's good to see you here again. I don't wanna say goodbye. But it's about half past ten and I have to catch my ride." Here is what I imagine. I imagine Louis going to visit Harry at his grave and it's always good to go there and see him. But it starts to get late and he doesn't want to say goodbye but he must go.

Kiss Me Slowly - Parachute   
"Stay with me, baby stay with me,  
Tonight don't leave me alone.  
Walk with me, come and walk with me,  
To the edge of all we've ever known.  
I can see you there with the city lights,  
Fourteenth floor, pale blue eyes.  
I can breathe you in.  
Two shadows standing by the bedroom door,  
No, I could not want you more than I did right then,  
As our heads leaned in.  
Well, I'm not sure what this is gonna be,  
But with my eyes closed all I see  
Is the skyline, through the window,  
The moon above you and the streets below.  
Hold my breath as you're moving in,  
Taste your lips and feel your skin.  
When the time comes, baby don't run, just kiss me slowly."

If I Die Young - The Band Perry  
"If I die young, bury me in satin  
Lay me down on a bed of roses  
Sink me in a river at dawn  
Send me away with the words of a love song  
Uh oh, uh oh  
Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother  
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh,  
And life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no  
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby  
The sharp knife of a short life, oh well  
I've had just enough time"

Nobody - Selena Gomez  
"No one compares, could ever begin to love me like you do. I wouldn't want them to. ' nobody's gonna love me like you."   
"I don't want nothing else, not when I've had the best. I don't want nothing else, 'cause you showed me the best."   
Louis cannot love the same after Harry. He was his first love, his first everything. Harry showed Louis the light in life, he was his best. No one can compare to Harry; he made such a huge impact on Louis' life. 

Revival - Selena Gomez  
re·viv·al  
rəˈvīvəl/  
noun  
an improvement in the condition or strength of something.  
"I'm becoming my own salvation."   
"I admit that it's been painful but I'll be honest I'm grateful."   
"More than just survival, this is my revival."   
"What shattered through me like a rifle was a revival."   
"What I've learned is so vital, more than just survival. This is my revival."   
This is more about the war and training and the way Louis and Harry had to better themselves. 

Goodnight - Cher Lloyd  
"What if there's no forever? Would you kiss me goodnight? So I could remember? Keep you frozen in time like they do in the pictures." Louis wishes that time could be frozen; that he never lost Harry. Harry isn't there to kiss Louis goodnight anymore.  
"Stay with me, don't disappear. To tell the truth I need you here. I'm afraid, can barely breathe. I need your words to comfort me. Say goodnight." Louis wishes Harry was with him every day. Everyday is painful for him. He goes to sleep empty, Harry is not with him anymore.  
"If the gates open wide and made you an angel. Through tears in my eyes, I'd save your seat at the table." Harry is Louis' angel and even though he may physically not be there, he will always be there mentally. 

Into You - Ariana Grande  
"So baby, come light me up and maybe I'll let you on it. A little bit dangerous, but baby, that's how I want it. A little less conversation, and a little more touch my body. Cause I'm so into you." Their whole relationship was dangerous. This also describes the perfect nights when they would make love to each other.   
"Got everyone watchin' us, so baby, let's keep it secret. A little bit scandalous, but baby, don't let them see it." Perfectly describes the way they had to stay hidden and secretive from most people. People were not so accepting of gays in the 1940's.

Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri  
"Who do you think you are? Running around leaving scars. Collecting your jar of hearts and tearing love apart." Another song between the relationship between Louis and his mum, how she did not expect gay love.

Kiss Me - Ed Sheeran  
"Settle down with me. Cover me up, cuddle me in. Lie down with me and hold me in your arms. And your hearts against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck. And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now. Kiss me like you wanna be loved, you wanna be loved, you wanna be loved. This feels like falling in love, falling in love. We're falling in love." Self explanatory. They're in love with each other. They've spent nights in each other's bunks wrapped up in each other.

Kiss It Better - He Is We   
"Kiss it all better I'm not ready to go. It's not your fault, love you didn't know."   
"He kisses her (his) face and says "everything will be all right." He noticed the gun, and his rage grew inside. He said "I'll avenge my lover tonight."" When Harry got shot basically. 

Life Is Worth Living - Justin Bieber  
"Life is worth living so live another day." 

Purpose - Justin Bieber   
"You've given me purpose." This part and the rest of the song makes me think of Louis and how Harry gave him a purpose in life. 

Love Will Remember - Selena Gomez  
"Now's all we got,  
And time can't be bought,  
I know it inside my heart  
Forever will forever be ours,  
Even if we try to forget, love will remember."   
"Love will remember you,  
And love will remember me,  
I know it inside my heart,  
Forever will, forever be ours," Even though Harry may be gone, love will remember both him and Louis, even when Louis dies. Forever will forever be theirs.  
"The trips we dreamed of takin',  
The tacks left on the map,  
What happened to that?" All the trips they wanted to take in the next few years.  
"Break down the walls,  
Let heaven in.  
Somewhere in forever  
We'll dance again.  
We used to be inseparable." One day when Louis passes, he will be with Harry again. 

Moonlight - Ariana Grande  
"'Cause I never knew, I never knew  
You could have moonlight in your hands  
'Til the night I held you  
In the moonlight." When they would hold each other in the middle of the night with no light but the moonlight that would shine through the windows. 

Never Gone - Colton Dixon   
"I'm still standing here  
No I didn't disappear  
Now the lights are on  
See I was never gone  
I let go of your hand  
To help you understand  
With you all along  
Oh, I was never gone" Harry will always be there with Louis in spirit. 

You Are - Colton Dixon   
"When I can't find the words  
To say how much it hurts  
You are the healing in my heart  
When all that I can see  
Are broken memories  
You are the light that's in the dark

You are the song  
You are the song I'm singing  
You are the air  
You are the air I breathe in  
You are the hope  
You are the hope I'm needin" I don't really think this needs an explanation. 

These Four Walls - Little Mix  
"I tried to eat today but the lump in my throat got in the way. In this time I've lost all sense of pride, I've called a hundred times. If I hear your voice I'll be fine.And I, I can't come alive.  
I want the room to take me under, 'cause I can't help but wonder; What if I had one more night for goodbye? If you're not here to turn the lights off, I can't sleep." These are the feelings that Louis is having due to Harry's death. He is unable to cope without the light in his life, and he would love to have one more night with his love just to say goodbye one last time.   
"I lay in bed, can't seem to leave your side. Your pillow's wet from all these tears I've cried, I won't say goodbye. I tried to smile today, then I realized there's no point anyway." I believe these are also self explanatory. Louis would sleep in Harry's empty bed. Something that made him feel closer to Harry. 

All About Us - He Is We  
"Take my hand, I'll teach you to dance.  
I'll spin you around, won't let you fall down.  
Would you let me lead? You can step on my feet.  
Give it a try, it'll be alright  
The room's hush hush and now's our moment.  
Take it in, feel it all and hold it  
Eyes on you, eyes on me.  
We're doing this right  
'Cause lovers dance when they're feeling in love  
Spotlight's shining. It's all about us  
It's oh, oh, all  
About uh, uh, us  
And every heart in the room will melt  
This is a feeling I've never felt  
But it's all about us"

Thinking Bout You - Ariana Grande  
"I don't have you here with me but at least I have the memory." Louis has the memory of Harry. 

Gone, Gone, Gone - Phillip Phillips  
"Baby I'm not moving on, I'll love you long after you're gone. For you, for you. You will never sleep alone, I'll love you long after you're gone."

This Love - Taylor Swift  
"This love is good, this love is bad  
This love is alive back from the dead  
These hands had to let it go free  
And this love came back to me."

I Know Places - Taylor Swift  
"You stand with a hand on my waist line  
Good to see that we're out here in plain sight  
I can hear them whisper as we pass by  
It's a bad sign, bad sign  
Something happens when everybody finds out  
See the vultures circling in dark cloud  
Love's a fragile little flame, it could burn out  
It could burn out cause they got their cages, they got their boxes, and guns, they are the hunters, we are the foxes and we run."

All Of Me - John Legend 

Forever & Always - Parachute  
"I want you forever, forever and always. Through the good and the bad and the ugly. We'll grow old together, forever and always." They've had good times together, they've even had bad times together. They've had ugly times and that was the day Harry died.   
"Whether happy or sad or whatever, we'll still love each other forever and always."   
"I love you forever, forever and always. Please just remember even if I'm not there, I'll always love you forever and always." Harry promises to always love Louis no matter what happens. Even if Harry is gone, he will always love his boy.


End file.
